To let my 8 year old daughter shave half her head

[Missymini]

My daughter currently has a bob and she has decided she wants her hair cut shorter. We have looked together at pictures online and she likes the type were half the head is shaved and the remaining hair has a undercut. It feels quite drastic but I am tempted to let her as it is her hair we have discussed once it is done if she doesn't like it she will have to wait for it to grow out and she is adamant that is fine.

I think it matters to point out all AI images - there are so many people who can't tell the difference.

Twitter/X is littered with fake images.

But who cares? It's a picture of a hairstyle? Why does it matter?

Why are people calling it chavvy? Has the definition of a chav changed drastically? Chav to me used to mean burberry, tracksuits, joggers tucked into socks, nikey trainers, big hoop earrings, hair in a high tight pony (used to be an off centre pony). That was 15/20 years ago when I was in high school, now I would say the modern day equivalent is 'roadmen' and their girlfriends.

This style would be mildly alternative IMO, alternative being the opposite of 'chav', more in the direction of emo/scene/punk (but only very very slightly with the style the op posted). It's not a chavvy style at all, it's a style the chavs would take the piss out of

I think it's fine to let kids choose their cut, I desperately wanted a pixie as a kid and the most my mum would allow was a bob which looked ridiculous on me, I got it cut as an adult and turns out short hair really suits my face shape as well as my personality

I think some people on here use the term "chavvy" when what they really mean is "working class". Its pure snobbery.

My first thought was that eight is a bit too young for the decision to be left in her hands. She is still below the age of criminal responsibility, for example.

But having read the rest of your comments I've changed my mind. The decision hasn't been left altogether to her. You've supported her to make her own decision, you've given her all the information, and - key for me - shaved doesn't actually appear to mean shaved as in completely gone and therefore shiny at first and itchy when growing out.

Take her to a really, really good hairdresser who can meet her expectations and make it look great.

Just make it clear that this is not a precedent that will apply to any irreversible decisions, though, or it'll be piercings and tattoos next :(

I don't really understand why parents are so precious about their children's hair. Children should have a say themselves, it grows back.

I love it. I always wanted an undercut but wasn't allowed it as a teen.

I think it's fab. It will grow out soon enough (that stage might be messy) if she doesn't like it...or maybe she will keep it.

If you would let a boy get a cut that short...why not a girl

What clothes are and aren’t “suitable” for a “6 year old” surely that’s subjective and in this case dependant on your own adult views of what is and isn’t acceptable and you projecting those views on a child. Children aren’t possessions they aren’t extensions of you. Our job as parents is to guide them provide them with information and help to to come to their own decisions.

In this particular instance, it doesn't matter.

But as I've already said up thread, I think it is worth pointing out any likely AI images whatever the context especially if someone is under the impression that an image is a photograph

If you find that irritating just skip my posts.

Does her school have rules/expectations about hairstyles or expectations about pupils' hairstyles? I'd check before you get an unusual (some may extreme) style for her...

I disagree. It may sound wonderful in theory but six-year-olds do not have enough judgement or life experience to be allowed to always make their own decisions. Yes you provide them with information but they won’t always want to follow it. Obviously by the time they are older teenagers that will hopefully be different.

Maybe you would allow your six-year-old to choose to eat only sweets and crisps, to never brush their teeth, to use make-up or to wear the sexualised little-girl clothing available in some shops, but I wouldn't. I certainly do project my own opinions on what is or is not acceptable onto my young child, and make absolutely no apology for doing so. It’s called 'parenting'.

8 seems to be very young for a strong opinion about this kind of haircut. personally, I wouldn't let a child so young make this kind of decision. Also, it won't grow out in 6 weeks.
Schools can sometimes be difficult about these things. DD got in the neck once for having a fringe (that she'd died red 7 weeks earlier) still being faintly red despite the fact we'd died it brown again.

Funnily enough my DD8 knows that sweets are eaten in moderation and teeth are cleaned to keep them pearly white because she’s intelligent and has been provided with information to make those decisions.

Sexualised clothes is an adults concept and is again your perception. The reality is clothes are just clothes. If my DD’s ever wore anything I thought was inappropriate based on a situation or a slogan I would discuss this with them, that is called parenting, however we’ve never been in that situation. Remember people once thought that trousers were wholly inappropriate for girls to wear and if girls/women wore them their morality was questioned.

Good for your DD. If you think the same is true for all young children you live in cloud cuckoo land.

You say Sexualised clothes is an adults concept and is again your perception. The reality is clothes are just clothes. If my DD’s ever wore anything I thought was inappropriate based on a situation or a slogan I would discuss this with them

So if you discussed it with a six-year-old and she chose to go ahead with her choice of wearing thongs, high-heeled children's shoes, bra-style crop tops and T-shirts with slogans like "I’m a sexy little chick" (all things I’ve seen recently), as everyday wear to go with her make-up and dyed permed hair, you’d let her because sexualised clothes is just my perception and clothes are just clothes, right?

Blimey.

How realistic do you think your example really is? If your DD is selecting impractical clothes for occasions I think you have bigger issues than your sexualisation of clothing.

Honestly, I’d really let her. What is really the worst thing g that could happen.

She could be excluded from school. The OP has not replied to all those asking what school policy is regarding shaved heads, but some schools do and 5-6 weeks is not long enough for the hair to grow back very much.

She's 8? What are you thinking? She has no idea of the bigger picture, because she's a child. She won't be ready for negative reactions from anyone, including her friends.

I could imagine a senior school having a policy on hairstyles but it is possible that a primary school may not. I don’t think ours does, apart from long hair needs to be tied back.

Good on you, OP, for supporting your daughter in her choices.
I've always consulted with my daughters around how they'd like their hair cut, since they were around 4. They're twins, now 7.5.
Neither has asked for a fade, undercut, or similar yet, but both have had very short hair at one time or another.
Neither are image obsessed or unhealthily preoccupied with their appearance; they just don't run with the herd and bloody gone on them (and your daughter!).

Why are people comparing adult hair
cuts to an eight-year-old’s. This place is so weird sometimes!

I think I would let her have the style she wants, with the proviso that there will be a trip to the hairdresser's the week before school resumed to even it out, even if that means shorter all over.

It's hair, it will grow back.

She has given good reasons for wanting that style.

I think you are right. It’s similar to kids this age getting their ears pierced. Always gets criticised for being chavvy. This haircut maybe elicit judgement from other parents, teachers etc but as long as the OP and her child can weather the comments, they should go for it.

She isn’t. I’m just making the point that despite your fine-sounding words I don’t really believe you would let your six-year-old daughter dress like that even if she still wanted to after you'd discussed it with her. At least, I’d hope you wouldn't.