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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13 year old watching newborn

361 replies

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:29

Am I being unreasonable?

I am not comfortable with our 13 year old DSD watching our newborn whilst we do jobs around the house. Personally my priority is the safety of the newborn and anything can happen quickly (choking, falling, suffocating) if not being watched properly. E.g. I came down and DSD was on phone whilst “watching” newborn whilst I was upstairs and DP was in the kitchen.

My DP on the other hand doesn’t see the problem in this at all.

My view is DSD can hold feed cuddle newborn as much as she wants but whilst we are supervising.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
THISnewbeginning · 27/07/2025 12:31

You know someone doesn't constantly need eyes fixed to the baby yeah?

Arghhhhhparty · 27/07/2025 12:32

You are being OTT, no one needs to be watching newborn every second of the day. They just need to be in the same room as someone. DSD would be fine to monitor them in my eyes

CommissarySushi · 27/07/2025 12:32

How much watching does a newborn need? They're not going to go anywhere.

Moonnstars · 27/07/2025 12:32

Not sure what you mean by 'watching'. Surely if baby is asleep or content on a playmat or bouncy chair then I don't see what the problem is

Original poster
Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:33

Baby is 14 days old.

OP posts:
rainbowunicorn · 27/07/2025 12:33

Do you literally have your eyes on the baby every minute when you are with them? The risks of any of those happening to a newborn are very small. Not sure how a newborn would fall. Do you mean dropped?

PollyBell · 27/07/2025 12:33

I did not spend all my time sat starting at my baby or toddler 24/7 so why would i expect a 13yo to do so? Your dh doesn't see a problem for a very good reason

Coffeeishot · 27/07/2025 12:33

What could your newborn tiny baby choke on ? Just have the baby in a pram or crib and im sure a 13 year old can spot any danger. Your partner was in the kitchen,you need to take a breath.

Hankunamatata · 27/07/2025 12:33

Totally fine for dsd to be on the phone whilst baby is next to her as long as baby is in baby seat or basket

Jellycatspyjamas · 27/07/2025 12:33

How newborn are we talking, newborns are pretty immobile and aren’t eating so risks are pretty minimal given you’re in the same house. I’d think a 13 year old could be with the baby and know to shout if anything happened. What’s your alternative if things need to be done around the house?

Talipesmum · 27/07/2025 12:34

You’d have a point for a more mobile slightly older child, but a newborn is safe where you put them, assuming they’re in a cot / Moses basket etc. They can’t fall off it, and there shouldn’t be anything they can choke on there?

CommissarySushi · 27/07/2025 12:35

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:33

Baby is 14 days old.

Unlikely to wander off then.

Comedycook · 27/07/2025 12:35

E.g. I came down and DSD was on phone whilst “watching” newborn whilst I was upstairs and DP was in the kitchen

So you never take your eyes off your baby even if you're in the same room?

tripleginandtonic · 27/07/2025 12:35

My 8/6 year old watched my newborn when I had to do a job. If I've left them safe not much could happen to them.

Coffeeishot · 27/07/2025 12:36

My sister is 13 years younger than me i was in the same room as her whilst my parents were elsewhere in the house.

PollyBell · 27/07/2025 12:36

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:33

Baby is 14 days old.

Maybe give them a curfew? Why does that make a difference?

rainbowunicorn · 27/07/2025 12:36

You're being daft. A newborn isn't going to choke on fresh air or suffocate.

Withdjsns · 27/07/2025 12:36

What are you expecting? I can’t see we watched newborn constantly…

Greencustardmonster · 27/07/2025 12:37

You know if you have a second child you will sometimes have to have eyes on the toddler/preschooler and not the newborn? My days old second child had to be alone in the living room for a few moments when I took the eldest to the toilet or whatever.

Anxiety around your new baby is normal, but you’re being unreasonable.

Original poster
Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:38

@rainbowunicorn well actually when he’s sick if he’s strapped into seat on his back. Possibly sick.
or blankets being accidentally pulled over face as he has animated hands.

so to say the possibility isn’t likely is interesting

OP posts:
PollyBell · 27/07/2025 12:38

Greencustardmonster · 27/07/2025 12:37

You know if you have a second child you will sometimes have to have eyes on the toddler/preschooler and not the newborn? My days old second child had to be alone in the living room for a few moments when I took the eldest to the toilet or whatever.

Anxiety around your new baby is normal, but you’re being unreasonable.

I would say sensible precautions is normal not the overused anxiety word though

CommissarySushi · 27/07/2025 12:39

Newmum99653 · 27/07/2025 12:38

@rainbowunicorn well actually when he’s sick if he’s strapped into seat on his back. Possibly sick.
or blankets being accidentally pulled over face as he has animated hands.

so to say the possibility isn’t likely is interesting

Do you not ever sleep then? Just watch the baby 24/7?

Comedycook · 27/07/2025 12:39

How do you think mums of multiple children cope when they're alone at home with their kids?

RainSoakedNights · 27/07/2025 12:39

Baby won’t choke at 14 days old, nor will they fall.

JuvenileBigfoot · 27/07/2025 12:40

Lol I'm on my phone with a baby on the other side of the room RIGHT NOW.