To think I never want another man?

[Bourneo]

Ok, so I'm on holiday, a little bit tipsy and had the briefest, most fleeting of thoughts... maybe it's time. Maybe I should dip my toe in the water and try online dating again.... before the blood in veins ran cold and I fully considered the horrors that would bring to my peaceful existence.

So go on, hit me with your pros and cons of dating again.

For context, this is purely light hearted. I have a 10 year old, no childcare, narcissist ex, excellent vibrator, my own house and a good career. Plus a cute dog for company. What could a man add to my life besides stress! ? 🤣

I can't think of an argument to convince you OP, sorry. I don't know if I can be bothered again. Did online dating 10 and then 5 years ago. From what people the whole landscape has changed. Enjoy your holiday.

Every time I have a wobble like that I do a quick search of Mumsnet threads and I can guarantee that one (or more) will convince me not to bother.
I love being single but do, occasionally, look round at happy couples and think that it might be nice.

You. Are.Enough. 😍

Just sex and foreign trips imo 😭😭

A vibrator is great but sometimes you need to feel the weight of a man on you

Other than that, crack on, your life sounds lovely 😍

Put down the glass, back away from the bar, find a bucket of ice cold water, and dunk your head in it.

There aren’t any pros. If anything happened to DH, I wouldn’t go there with a bargepole. I just couldn’t be arsed.

I was badly affected by the break up of a relationship along time ago which impacted on my ability to fall in love again. But I have a couple of times and I can honestly say that the juice isn't worth the squeeze. I've fallen in love with divorced men and it doesn't take long to work out why their wives divorced them.

I've been single for fifteen years.

Every now and then I think it might be nice to find someone.

And then I remember that my best days now as a single woman are as good as they ever were when I've been in a relationship, and my worst days now are significantly better than my worst days when I wasn't single.

I can't speak for everyone. I know women that don't enjoy being single. Don't come at me if that's not your experience - if you are happily partnered/married, that's great!

But op, there's a lot to be said for the single life!

You don't need a man to go abroad. They even let women travel alone these days 😁. Honestly, I've loved every solo trip I've done.

I thought I’d found someone amazing on OLD.

Turns out he’d faced a charge for attempted murder (although was acquitted).

Let it happen organically or not at all.

No pros imo. You have good dog, access to a good vibrator, so why would you want a man.
I’ve got a good man, but once he passes, no way would I want another.
Just live your life to the full. If a good man passes by, maybe it’s worth a punt?

It’s taken me a long time to admit to myself that.. I just like being single. I used to tie myself in knots hoping for a man, worrying about him when I had one, crying about it when it was all over. I had a broken picker and always would pick these strange men thinking I’d be the one to save him.

Today I meandered down to the hairdresser, meandered over to the farmer’s market, bought some ridiculous wee napkins with puffins on them, and meandered home. I’m going to have a bath and then watch a film (maybe Manhunter, ironically). No crying, nobody’s socks to pick up other than my own. It was, in the language of the poets, absolutely banging.

The vote is currently at 100% You are not being unreasonable. I think that's the first time I've even seen a vote that's not split.

My brain misread "briefest" as "Brie Fest".

YANBU.

Men is too much headache

i was very very happy on my own. Met someone at work. Amazing human and phenomenal sex, loved and adores me, but still I wouldn't give up living alone (with my children) for anything.

I'm trying online dating and atm it sucks!

Me neither. And my DH is a good one!

I agree don’t bother it’s too much hassle especially if you have a child, Im in a relationship but wish I’d never bothered it’s like having another child, there was some good things to start with but they’ve quickly done and the rose tinted glasses are now well and truly off.
I was single for 18 months and looking back it was the best time ever , had time for me to do whatever and whenever I wanted , now I just don’t and it’s not worth it , stay as you are and enjoy life , men to be are just another hassle you don’t need.

I've given up on men. The peace of being single is worth the loneliness I sometimes feel. And I'm about to take part in more meet up events to combat the occasional evening loneliness.

My dog and cat are my most wonderful companions..

I've been single 8 years now. I have a job, a home and cats. My adult DC and I get on massively well. Not bringing a man into it, this is perfection.

I totally agree. I decided ages ago that there would be no more men, and given how hard it is to meet women I would be interested in, I'm basically signing up to a life of being single. I feel less bothered about that than I do having a relationship with a man so it's fine. I cannot even contemplate online dating. No sir.

I wouldn’t bother if something happens to DH, I wouldn’t go online. If I happened to meet someone organically then perhaps, I don’t know.

OLD was traumatising when I was last on it over 10 years ago now. I vowed never to return as I knew if anything that was something likely to worsen over time and not get better. I met someone organically and I honestly thought I’d won the jackpot and used to constantly think to myself ‘can’t believe his wife left him, what kind of woman does that?!’ In less than a year, I learnt exactly why she’d left him 😑.

I don’t even really even look wistfully at couples anymore because personal experience as well as that of friends/colleagues, seems to be that much of it’s a facade and very few are living their best lives.

Given I have no real friends or family, I would love at least one human in my life but I won’t ever be proactively searching. If it happens, it happens and if not then the money I’ve saved will go towards a few furry companions instead 🙂.

The only pro I can think of is having a companion. It's the only part I miss. It's nice to hang out with girlfriends but they are usually too busy with their families to be regular companions. So you end up doing a lot of things alone and it can get lonely. Otoh, you are also free to do whatever you like whenever you like without consulting anyone first. So that evens it out.