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Original poster

Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

241 replies

Zodiac82 · 26/07/2025 17:05

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

OP posts:
Dragonfly97 · 28/07/2025 12:23

20 years ago my FIL was drinking 3 litres of gin and 50 bottles of lager in a month; now he's got a tremor and various other health issues. When his gp asked if he wanted help with his drinking he & MIL were offended and said he only drinks 2 cans every other day now. I don't think they realise all those years of heavy drinking have already done the damage, but they won't admit it. It's denial.

WordsFailMeYetAgain · 28/07/2025 12:39

She is a nurse so is fully aware of the health risks associated with that much wine but she is an alcoholic and until she realises and accepts that she needs help, nothing anyone says will make any difference.

If she is drinking that much in an evening stopping at 11pm and driving at 6:30am, she is likely to still be over the limit.

HardyCrow · 28/07/2025 13:37

WunTooThree · 28/07/2025 00:52

You sound very naïve.

Alcoholics who have wine as their poison are not buying fine wines and keeping them in racks, and making one bottle last a week. They are drinking to get pissed.
They will get the cheapest unit per £1... think the £4 bottles from Lidl. They wont have a house full of them. They will buy one or two at a time.. drink them, and go out to get more... usually from different shops. Thinking there is an element of control if you only have one bottle at a time at home... picked it up with a load of other shopping so no biggy... it does not look bad. Drink it, and end up going to the local corner shop in your PJs just before closing, and buying all sorts of random things so it looks like the sole purpose of going was not the wine. And rotating the shops you go to so the staff don't twig. But they know.

Alcoholics don't have houses full of booze.. they have houses full of empty bottles.

Show quote history

this

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 28/07/2025 13:50

WunTooThree · 28/07/2025 00:52

You sound very naïve.

Alcoholics who have wine as their poison are not buying fine wines and keeping them in racks, and making one bottle last a week. They are drinking to get pissed.
They will get the cheapest unit per £1... think the £4 bottles from Lidl. They wont have a house full of them. They will buy one or two at a time.. drink them, and go out to get more... usually from different shops. Thinking there is an element of control if you only have one bottle at a time at home... picked it up with a load of other shopping so no biggy... it does not look bad. Drink it, and end up going to the local corner shop in your PJs just before closing, and buying all sorts of random things so it looks like the sole purpose of going was not the wine. And rotating the shops you go to so the staff don't twig. But they know.

Alcoholics don't have houses full of booze.. they have houses full of empty bottles.

Show quote history

This is so true of my friend. When I stay there she buys 2 bottles per night from various shops while she's picking up milk. I wondered why she just didn't buy it all in one go and of course can see why now. Bloody hell,it's so sad.

Pessismistic · 28/07/2025 15:12

This is awful especially since the mum is a mum to younger child and nurse. Practice what you preach hey. It sounds like the parents aren’t arsed tbh I’m not sure what your gf can do as she has already tried. The fact she was also drunk driven that’s bad. Maybe she could say to the mum never drink and drive again or she will report her harsh I know but what else is there. Poor kid who has to live through this shit life her mum should know best they are obviously alcoholics functional but still need intervention. I’m surprised she can do her job could you not ring the hospital where she works and tip them off. God forbid if she made a big mistake in her job. The youngest child needs checking in on regularly. It is really a sad situation.

Donsyb · 28/07/2025 16:16

Zodiac82 · 26/07/2025 17:13

She drives to work yes, some nights stops drinking 11pm and drives 6.30am

She also admitted back in May to drink driving at night with her 11 year daughter in the back.

Not the most responsible nurse at all

Show quote history

Then you should report her, she’s a danger to others

Boomer55 · 28/07/2025 16:42

Zodiac82 · 26/07/2025 17:05

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

It’s got nothing to do with either of you. 🤷‍♀️

LillyPJ · 28/07/2025 16:49

Boomer55 · 28/07/2025 16:42

It’s got nothing to do with either of you. 🤷‍♀️

Show quote history

It has if the woman is driving under the influence (which she apparently is). In fact, I'd say they have a duty to report her for the public's safety, as well as their own. Imagine if someone close to you was harmed or killed by a drunk driver and you found out that others knew but just shrugged and said it was nothing to do with them. There's also the 11 year old to consider.

llizzie · 28/07/2025 17:30

LillyPJ · 28/07/2025 05:43

If you were an alcoholic, you'd find a way to get wine. You could have it delivered or buy in bulk or spend whole days in the pub... You don't seem to understand the point of this thread at all, nor how alcoholics behave. In fact, you just seem to be boasting about your fancy wine which isn't relevant or helpful at all.

Show quote history

No boasting at all. We used to belong to a wine club who sent wine every three months. Started off with their choice, then after some time chose our own.

I was trying to make some points which were missed, so I cannot be very good at making them.

You can buy lovely wines at auction for far less than you would pay in a shop. You can bid online, and the wine lots are displayed for at lease a fortnight, so that you can google the years and vintages, apply to bet online at the Saleroom. If no one bids against you, you get the wine at the start price. You have to pay the auctioneers premium and VAT, and find someone to ship it to you (some auction houses arrange it for a price) if you cannot collect it yourself.

You get to learn about wine, best year vintages. They are good wines, to be savoured. The cheapest supermarket brands ruin your taste buds and are probably addictive. I don't know anyone who is addicted to alcohol. It was not in the house when the children were young(they were in bed if we had a party) and none of them touch it.

You don't have to be rich to buy good wines, and they are far more satisfying than the cheap ones.

I also tried to explain that not everyone who buys a lot of wine at once, drink it all in a week. Also, not everyone who cannot walk properly is an alcoholic. The members of facebook groups for my disease regularly post in tears because they have been accused of being drunk. I fell one day - years ago. The cover was missing from one of those small square drain chambers. It was on a grass verge so didn't know. There was no one about for a while and I don't have a mobile phone. Then a dog walker came along and stopped about 50 yards away and stared. I lifted my coat to show the splints on my leg and she immediately came to help, but I am sure she would not have done so had I not had the splints on.

I heard someone with a similar disease - MS was refused admission on a bus because she couldn't walk properly.

It is so common, some were debating whether to have a notice board saying so.

3luckystars · 28/07/2025 17:47

I still don’t see how anything you are saying has anything whatsoever to do with what is being posted about here except both stories have the word ‘wine’ in them.

Would you consider starting a different thread about your different experiences?

LillyPJ · 28/07/2025 17:50

llizzie · 28/07/2025 17:30

No boasting at all. We used to belong to a wine club who sent wine every three months. Started off with their choice, then after some time chose our own.

I was trying to make some points which were missed, so I cannot be very good at making them.

You can buy lovely wines at auction for far less than you would pay in a shop. You can bid online, and the wine lots are displayed for at lease a fortnight, so that you can google the years and vintages, apply to bet online at the Saleroom. If no one bids against you, you get the wine at the start price. You have to pay the auctioneers premium and VAT, and find someone to ship it to you (some auction houses arrange it for a price) if you cannot collect it yourself.

You get to learn about wine, best year vintages. They are good wines, to be savoured. The cheapest supermarket brands ruin your taste buds and are probably addictive. I don't know anyone who is addicted to alcohol. It was not in the house when the children were young(they were in bed if we had a party) and none of them touch it.

You don't have to be rich to buy good wines, and they are far more satisfying than the cheap ones.

I also tried to explain that not everyone who buys a lot of wine at once, drink it all in a week. Also, not everyone who cannot walk properly is an alcoholic. The members of facebook groups for my disease regularly post in tears because they have been accused of being drunk. I fell one day - years ago. The cover was missing from one of those small square drain chambers. It was on a grass verge so didn't know. There was no one about for a while and I don't have a mobile phone. Then a dog walker came along and stopped about 50 yards away and stared. I lifted my coat to show the splints on my leg and she immediately came to help, but I am sure she would not have done so had I not had the splints on.

I heard someone with a similar disease - MS was refused admission on a bus because she couldn't walk properly.

It is so common, some were debating whether to have a notice board saying so.

Show quote history

I don't think anyone here would argue with you that you can get lovely wines at auction or elsewhere. I certainly think wine is fascinating and learning about wine could be a very interesting pursuit. I did try to learn a bit in the past and actually joined a wine appreciation group. But I think all wine (or alcohol) has the potential to be addictive. Alcoholics probably gravitate towards the cheaper kinds for practical and financial reasons. And the fact that you don't personally know any alcoholics (or at least, you're not aware of any) is neither here nor there. There are alcoholics around, rich and poor, obvious or hidden.

I'm sorry that you had an accident and it's terrible that people have been accused of being drunk or otherwise discriminated against when it's just their illness. Alcoholism is also an illness and sufferers deserve some understanding and help if possible.

Holycows · 28/07/2025 18:59

OP you said that both mum and dad drink a lot, perhaps there are issues within their relationship that they avoid and mask with alcohol. Only they can change their situation and may when their health begins to suffer unfortunately.

FlipFlopVibe · 28/07/2025 21:07

llizzie · 28/07/2025 17:30

No boasting at all. We used to belong to a wine club who sent wine every three months. Started off with their choice, then after some time chose our own.

I was trying to make some points which were missed, so I cannot be very good at making them.

You can buy lovely wines at auction for far less than you would pay in a shop. You can bid online, and the wine lots are displayed for at lease a fortnight, so that you can google the years and vintages, apply to bet online at the Saleroom. If no one bids against you, you get the wine at the start price. You have to pay the auctioneers premium and VAT, and find someone to ship it to you (some auction houses arrange it for a price) if you cannot collect it yourself.

You get to learn about wine, best year vintages. They are good wines, to be savoured. The cheapest supermarket brands ruin your taste buds and are probably addictive. I don't know anyone who is addicted to alcohol. It was not in the house when the children were young(they were in bed if we had a party) and none of them touch it.

You don't have to be rich to buy good wines, and they are far more satisfying than the cheap ones.

I also tried to explain that not everyone who buys a lot of wine at once, drink it all in a week. Also, not everyone who cannot walk properly is an alcoholic. The members of facebook groups for my disease regularly post in tears because they have been accused of being drunk. I fell one day - years ago. The cover was missing from one of those small square drain chambers. It was on a grass verge so didn't know. There was no one about for a while and I don't have a mobile phone. Then a dog walker came along and stopped about 50 yards away and stared. I lifted my coat to show the splints on my leg and she immediately came to help, but I am sure she would not have done so had I not had the splints on.

I heard someone with a similar disease - MS was refused admission on a bus because she couldn't walk properly.

It is so common, some were debating whether to have a notice board saying so.

Show quote history

Kindly, you need to start your own thread about wine auctions elsewhere. It has absolutely no relevance to the OP’s post, they don’t need handy wine buying tips!!

llizzie · 29/07/2025 00:20

FlipFlopVibe · 28/07/2025 21:07

Kindly, you need to start your own thread about wine auctions elsewhere. It has absolutely no relevance to the OP’s post, they don’t need handy wine buying tips!!

Show quote history

We only have the OPs word that the post is true, don't we? It is only what she says.

I am trying to make the point that you have to see someone actually drinking 47 bottles a month to know the truth, rather than take someone's word for it.

I said not everyone who buys lots of bottles at once is drinking them all at once, and not everyone who cannot walk is an alcoholic.

My advice to the OP was that if she has evidence that the person is drinking up to 11 bottles a week, then she should report her to the police with the car registration number if she thinks she is driving under the influence.

But you have to have proof. If the police stopped her and she was perfectly sober, would they take any notice of the OP again?

WunTooThree · 29/07/2025 00:25

llizzie · 29/07/2025 00:20

We only have the OPs word that the post is true, don't we? It is only what she says.

I am trying to make the point that you have to see someone actually drinking 47 bottles a month to know the truth, rather than take someone's word for it.

I said not everyone who buys lots of bottles at once is drinking them all at once, and not everyone who cannot walk is an alcoholic.

My advice to the OP was that if she has evidence that the person is drinking up to 11 bottles a week, then she should report her to the police with the car registration number if she thinks she is driving under the influence.

But you have to have proof. If the police stopped her and she was perfectly sober, would they take any notice of the OP again?

Show quote history

OP has said that her girlfriend has logged a dairy of her parent's intake, which suggests she sees it and it well aware of it.

Many alcoholics are crap at hiding their habit, and the evidence from it. And they will still deny they have a problem.

crumblingschools · 29/07/2025 00:31

I would be reporting both to younger sister’s school and to workplace

llizzie · 29/07/2025 00:38

WunTooThree · 29/07/2025 00:25

OP has said that her girlfriend has logged a dairy of her parent's intake, which suggests she sees it and it well aware of it.

Many alcoholics are crap at hiding their habit, and the evidence from it. And they will still deny they have a problem.

Show quote history

Even so, we still only have the word of the OP. We don't know for fact, do we, that this friend of hers isn't upset with her mother and telling porkies to get back?

There has to be evidence, eye witness evidence before an accusation should be taken as fact.

I have tried to explain the myriad of problems that can be created for someone when they are wrongly accused.

I would not vote on this thread, because I cannot be convinced it happens. If it was one bottle a day, it might be believed, but 11 a week?

WunTooThree · 29/07/2025 00:41

llizzie · 29/07/2025 00:38

Even so, we still only have the word of the OP. We don't know for fact, do we, that this friend of hers isn't upset with her mother and telling porkies to get back?

There has to be evidence, eye witness evidence before an accusation should be taken as fact.

I have tried to explain the myriad of problems that can be created for someone when they are wrongly accused.

I would not vote on this thread, because I cannot be convinced it happens. If it was one bottle a day, it might be believed, but 11 a week?

Show quote history

You have said so yourself that you do not know any alcoholics. Many of us on this thread do, or struggle ourselves.

OP's girlfriend is an eye witness to the drinking, yet you are somehow accusing her of lying.. or that OP is making it all up. I am not sure what your motive here is.

OP is after support and advice... not being told that you can get posh wine in auctions.

llizzie · 29/07/2025 01:51

WunTooThree · 29/07/2025 00:41

You have said so yourself that you do not know any alcoholics. Many of us on this thread do, or struggle ourselves.

OP's girlfriend is an eye witness to the drinking, yet you are somehow accusing her of lying.. or that OP is making it all up. I am not sure what your motive here is.

OP is after support and advice... not being told that you can get posh wine in auctions.

Show quote history

Not lying, though there is a fine line separating lying and making things look worse than they are.

It isn't the eye witness who is the OP, is it?

LillyPJ · 29/07/2025 03:40

@llizzie Watch 'Rain in my Heart' on BBC iPlayer. It's a documentary about alcoholics. There you can actually see alcoholics downing pints of wine for yourself. You will see the awful effects it has. You will see real people - not actors - who are willing to give up everything for drink, including their life. You will also learn that expensive wine is no less addictive than the cheap stuff and that all alcohol is harmful. Why believe it's possible to drink one bottle a night but not more? The whole point of addiction is that you build up a tolerance and always crave more. If you didn't believe the OP, why did you comment? I hope you watch the documentary because it's powerful and thought-provoking. As you know, it's possible for many people to enjoy a pint of beer or appreciate a glass of wine without any harmful consequences. But unfortunately that's not true for everyone.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 29/07/2025 07:46

llizzie · 29/07/2025 00:38

Even so, we still only have the word of the OP. We don't know for fact, do we, that this friend of hers isn't upset with her mother and telling porkies to get back?

There has to be evidence, eye witness evidence before an accusation should be taken as fact.

I have tried to explain the myriad of problems that can be created for someone when they are wrongly accused.

I would not vote on this thread, because I cannot be convinced it happens. If it was one bottle a day, it might be believed, but 11 a week?

Show quote history

Do you really think someone can't drink 11 bottles a week because I can assure you they can? It doesn't sound like you know any alcoholics.

3luckystars · 29/07/2025 08:07

My neighbours ( a couple) drank 6 bottles of wine in one night between the two of them. Of course it’s possible. I don’t know what you are getting out of this thread at all.

LillyPJ · 29/07/2025 08:24

3luckystars · 29/07/2025 08:07

My neighbours ( a couple) drank 6 bottles of wine in one night between the two of them. Of course it’s possible. I don’t know what you are getting out of this thread at all.

Ah - but were you an eye witness?! Because obviously nobody drinks more than one bottle a night... (Just in case, I'd better say that I am being sarcastic here!)

WunTooThree · 29/07/2025 13:21

llizzie · 29/07/2025 01:51

Not lying, though there is a fine line separating lying and making things look worse than they are.

It isn't the eye witness who is the OP, is it?

Show quote history

What is your point?

Surely you give the OP benefit of the doubt, and listen to her worries.

Alcoholism is no joke. Best she get some solid advice than be accused of making things up or exaggerating. Other people will be reading this thread and getting help from it too.

It seems that you just don't believe that someone can drink as much as 11 bottles of wine in a week because you only have the one.. Some people drink even more than that.

Watch 'Rain in my Heart'. It is on iPlayer. One young lady on it was drinking 1-2 bottles of wine per day... and she died during the filming of the documentary. Another part features a young man who is forcing wine down himself, throwing up, then drinking more.

LillyPJ · 29/07/2025 14:26

@WunTooThree That documentary was so harrowing. I'm haunted by the image of that man pouring that huge quantity of wine down his throat in one go. The interviewer was obviously disturbed by it too - enough to intervene and ask whether it would be better to go more slowly. 'l don't sip' was the reply. It was so sad to see them throwing their lives away.