Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

[Zodiac82]

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

I don’t think many people who drink moderately or slightly more than that actually consider the risk of oesophageal cancer. It’s real risk. Another very real possibility is oesophageal varisces, which can be life threatening and even fatal. At a certain level alcohol causes pressure on the portal vein - the blood supply to the liver. This causes a knock on effect which affects the venal supply to the throat, aggravated by the intake of alcohol and can cause bleeding. Often this is accompanied by ascites - free fluid in the abdomen caused by liver disease. It can also be fatal. None of these completely avoidable diseases are a pleasant way to die.

Yep. An average of 44 bottles of wine per month at an average of £7-8 per bottle. £300 or so per month.

She needs to step back OP. They are on the road to self destruction. Problem is they don’t think it will happen to them because they’ve been doing this for a while with no adverse effects. The effect of alcohol on the body is cumulative. They will pay one day, and it will inevitably be too late for them to do anything about it. Better to take a step back and not involve yourselves too much. You can’t help someone unless they want to be helped.

I don't believe it. I make a bottle of wine last a week. The best wines will keep that long in the fridge.

I have a whole fridge devoted to white wines and the red are in the cupboard. Did you know that Temu sell a wine rack specially sized to kitchen base units?

I buy them online auctions. Not always obviously cheap, but when you look up the vintages and Ai tell you which years were good, they are a good price, even with fees, especially if no one bids against you. You have to be registered to bid, and you have to pay shipping to your home.

Some people think that if you have lots of bottles of wine you must be addicted or an alcoholic, not realising that if you are an alcoholic, your fridge wouldn't be full of bottles, would it?

Unless you actually see someone drinking all those bottles of wine a week yourself, you cannot really say they do.

More than one bottle of wine a week - six glasses approx for women is harmful.

If they had been drinking as much as you say their health would have broken down a long time ago.

Their skins would be starting to yellow, as will the eyes. They will have liver problems and probably kidney and bladder problems.

The job of the liver and kidneys is to rid the body of poisons, and that much alcohol is definitely likely to poison them.

When you see the signs, that is the time to take it seriously. Before then, it is unwise to speak to them, because they might just take even more from obstinacy. Wait and see - or have a word with the GP if you have the same one. The GP would be able to send them for liver scans.

The trouble is that drinkers probably know many of the dangers but they ignore them or somehow think they won't apply to them. Smokers do the same. You just have to hope that eventually something will sink in and they'll want to stop. Nobody can do it for them.

I haven't read the whole post so someone may have already mentioned this, bit in case not, the mumsnet alcohol support forum could be helpful for your gf, or her mum - there's loads of fantastic advice & support on there www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support?order-by=newest

Probably to make her alcoholic parent realise they are a alcoholic. Sorry but I also dont think someone should be a nurse if they are a alcoholic they could easily make a mistake

This - Totally she shouldn't either drive or work with that amount of alcohol in her system, she's endangering other people life and her own daughter. Totally unreasonable.

Well I hope she doesn't drive to work!! Surely she'd be over the limit drinking that much every week. Functioning alcoholics are a danger on the road!

“Wait and see”

Are we waiting till she kills her own child driving under the influence or when she over medicates someone at work?

I think it unlikely that anyone would have success in influencing these people to stop drinking that much, if indeed they are.

They have to decide that for themselves.

If you have evidence that she was drinking while driving, then you have a duty to report that to the police, because there is a law against drinking and driving, and you do not have to tell them you have reported them.

You notify the police, giving them the registration number of the car, and they will tag her for a while and pull her over if they are suspicious.

It is all you can do.

Where did I say it was ?

That’s massively excessive and dangerous, especially with a pre teen. Try contacting the charity NACOA

nacoa.org.uk

Nearly £6000 a year. That's a couple of decent holidays.

This is not correct. The harmful effects of alcohol are cumulative - you can drink high levels of alcohol for many years without any apparent effects and a liver function test can come back normal literally right before the liver packs up. Jaundice is one of the later stages of alcohol abuse, usually as a result of cirrhosis. My SiL drank two bottles of wine a day for over twenty years. Blood tests didn’t pick up anything abnormal. Her drinking was only picked up after she had several falls requiring hospitalisation and each time she had seizures because of alcohol withdrawal - the first we knew that anything was wrong. She carried on drinking in secret and eventually had a major seizure resulting in brain damage, and had to be sedated and put on life support, which was eventually withdrawn and she passed away. The major problem with alcohol damage is that often there are no outward signs until it’s too late.

Yes I know I work for them hence why I don’t agree with the wait and see logic. If someone wants to drink themselves into oblivion that’s their call but I couldn’t sit back and watch innocent people put at risk. I’d be reporting anonymously through Crimestoppers and do it immediately

And going to work as a nurse on the back of that level of consumption. It can’t not be affecting her.

I am sorry to hear about your SIL

What I describe is much the same. Did I suggest it was instant? I said at the rate they are drinking their health would be starting to break down. From what the OP said it seems as though a number of years has already passed.

If people understood the consequences of heavy drinking, it is to be hoped they will not start in the first place. Is there anything wrong with what I said, apart from your point that it won't show for many years, which, of course, differs from one person to another.

No in my experience also, everything is ok for ages and then suddenly not ok. It’s not gradual, it’s a bang.

I am disabled. If I thought a carer was under the influence, I would dismiss them.

I would also take photos of the wines in my fridge. I recommend Chablis and Meursault as the better wines for a week open in the fridge. I don't know it for fact, but someone on TV a while back said the cheap wines were laced with alcohol. The best wines are bottled at the Chateau.

Wine in moderation is beneficial. When my late husband and I were reading the daily lesson, it was in the letter wrote by St.Paul to Timothy, who obviously had a stomach problem. He advised Timothy to ''take a little wine with your meal to aid digestion'', So we joined a wine club and it worked. Washed the food down royally. Now I buy at auction online, because there are so many good vintages you never see in the supermarket.

Anything taken in excess is bad for you. Trying taking too many spoonfuls of honey!

Would they do anything directly? Most prefer the person to apply for help themselves. They really have to want to stop.

That’s AA. NACOA is for people affected by the problem drinker.

Thank you.

You sound very naïve.

Alcoholics who have wine as their poison are not buying fine wines and keeping them in racks, and making one bottle last a week. They are drinking to get pissed.
They will get the cheapest unit per £1... think the £4 bottles from Lidl. They wont have a house full of them. They will buy one or two at a time.. drink them, and go out to get more... usually from different shops. Thinking there is an element of control if you only have one bottle at a time at home... picked it up with a load of other shopping so no biggy... it does not look bad. Drink it, and end up going to the local corner shop in your PJs just before closing, and buying all sorts of random things so it looks like the sole purpose of going was not the wine. And rotating the shops you go to so the staff don't twig. But they know.

Alcoholics don't have houses full of booze.. they have houses full of empty bottles.