Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

[Zodiac82]

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

My ex started drinking that amount between Friday lunchtime to Sunday teatime towards the end of my second pregnancy. I asked him to curb it so he could drive me to hospital when I went into labour.

Fortunately that happened mid-week as he didn't stop. Still hasn't, by all accounts, 20 years later.

His father died recently of alcohol-related health complications. I think the pattern has been broken with my dc as I got us out before they realised that was our life at that point.

Lots of opinions here from people who have no experience with alcoholism
I would recommend reading Chapter 3 of the big-book of Alcoholics Anonymous or exploring al-anon
alcoholism is a disease (diagnosis by the WHO
anyone who is a non-alcoholic but worried about the effects of alcohol on someone else should contact Al Anon who can provide information support and advice for people who are affected by someone else’s drinking
in my experience successful recovery almost always results from a rock-bottom experience ( major loss EG health /relationship /liberty)
until they reach the turning point (sick and tired of being sick and tired)
active alcoholics are usually acting on selfishness dishonesty and resentment it’s not who they are just a symptom of the illness
You can get lots of help and support from al anon they can give advice specific to your situation rather than asking for advice from a group of people who can’t offer specific answers for your issue

Hopefully having this woman removed from active nursing! Would you want her in charge of your meds?

Apart the potential liver disease, how much is all this costing?

Thoroughly unpleasant post. Have a look at my post upthread. My SiL drank two bottles of wine a day for over twenty years. No one knew anything about it until she was hospitalised and the extent of the damage was revealed. The cumulative effect of the alcohol had a devastating effect in the end and she died a horrible death. Not sure why you don’t believe OP - just because it’s outside your experience doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Also a functioning or topped-up alcoholic /heavy drinker can appear quite normal despite having consumed a large quantity of alcohol their body can become used to the effect and they can seem unimpaired despite being very intoxicated!

This.
There is the stereotype of the wobbly man in the street that is clutching a bottle. Or the early morning visitors to Wetherspoons.

You can have a good job, relationships etc. But be drinking behind closed doors, and no one will have a clue.

And yes, your body builds up a tolerance. People will say that they would be wrecked on a few glasses of wine... but an alcoholic that has been drinking for a long time will seem perfectly normal after even a couple of bottles.

This is so true of my friend.

I don't

I'm really confused as to why you're on this thread tbh.

Your GF should get support for herself first. She is the victim of two alcoholic parents throughout her childhood and will definetly have suffered neglect and abuse in this dysfunctional home setting. Have a look at the resources on https://adultchildren.org/ as well as https://al-anonuk.org.uk/ where she will learn to protect herself by 'detaching with love' and ensuring that she is not inadvertently enabling both of their alcoholism. Your GF needs to understand that she cannot impact their choices directly but that she must recognise the emotional toil this has had on her own development and to focus soley on protecting and repairing her own mental health.

The younger DC is a significant safeguarding concern (especially the driving) and this needs professional oversight. Maybe an anonymous message to school to outline the extent and risks that this young child (with no older siblings in the house) is exposed to.

Your partners parents will be aware of how much they are drinking as they are buying it, so I’m not sure gathering evidence of quantity is the right approach.

in my experience there’s something behind excessive drinking that the alcohol provides comfort from. In your MIL’s case I suspect it’s probably what she sees in her day to day work. Must be terrible at times!

Does she get to debrief about her day over a cup of tea/coffee? is it possible for her to take a side step in the medical industry such as sales or training and have an break from the actual caring?

I have to say I’m terrible for being able to drink several glasses/bottle myself. DH, and I agree, picked the increase starting with a hospitality job I was in 15 years ago where I had to deal with staff theft and ongoing Investigations, and in hindsight I should have left. Thus my reasoning for your MIL…

Sarah Rusbatch on FB has a women’s wellbeing page which is a great support group for drinkers and families alike. She gets right into the science behind drinking and also has a book starting with her journey. It’s worth a read.

I think many alcoholics can point to a particular event(s) that kick-started their drinking problems. But I also think that for others there's not necessarily such a clear starting point. Alcoholism tends to run in families although whether that's nurture or nature is still a matter of debate.

Regardless, I think as with any addiction there comes a point where the original reasons become much less important than the biochemical feedback loop that keeps the addiction going.

If you've got a well-established addiction that started because you had a shitty childhood, resolving your childhood issues won't make the addiction go away because by then the addiction is self-sustaining.

You've got to deal with the addiction first despite it telling you that you can't. Once you've got the addiction under control you may very well realise that the childhood issues you had are much less influential than the addiction was telling you they were.

Verey true. Giving up smoking worked like that for my father - once he stopped all the trauma from War that the smoke had been sitting on came bubbling up and he then dealt with , with a Repat. Hospital psychiatrist,

Do you / does she knows WHY she is drinking to this extent? Habit / stress / other reasons? (and how do they afford it??).
Either way, not acceptable under any circumstances - and no, I am not a saint, I enjoy a drink, or several sometimes at weekends to 'unwind' after a stressful week at work, (and yes, I know that even that isn't good), but I will never even have a glass of wine the day (day, not even night) before driving, or going to work. Maybe you could show her this thread, before a tragedy happens - at work, or while driving the day after?
Or, the thing that made my sister stop drinking to a similar extent was to film her just talking before, during & after the first bottle - she was so shocked it stopped her overnight. Tough love is needed. Good luck, you obviously care about her🌹

Actually it's about 90 units, but still a lot. That said a lot of people I know will drink a bottle of wine on a few days during the week, sometimes more at the weekend.