Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

[Zodiac82]

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

You're an idiot then.

That’s more than anyone I know!

How is she affording all of that wine? That’s an insane amount.

That’s a really high volume of alcohol to drink and won’t be good for her. I feel for your girlfriend as it can’t be easy watching her mother drinking like that not to mention her younger sibling. Wishing her well

Thank you for all the responses, I have read every single one and appreciate all the feedback and advice given.

Have also shown my girlfriend the messages to and she thanks you also.

She did confront the mum about 2 months ago about the drinking, told her it makes her uncomfortable and how she is worried about how much she drinks.

The mum at first seemed understanding and said she will cut down a bit... but... literally that evening she returned back from shopping with wine/beer with her husband and both were laughing about it in front of my girlfriend. For some reason they think it's a joke.

Unfortunately her mum and dad are really not the kind of people who will ever listen or take advice from my girlfriend, believe me, they will just tell her to mind her own business or shut up.

My girlfriend is mainly worried about the youngest sister who is 11 (nearly 12) as the oldest sister has just moved out and my girlfriend goes back to uni in September. There hasn't been any volince or threats ect to the children but with the amount they drink in the evening, you can never be sure can you? One night something could happen when drunk.

I haven't mentioned the dad much as purely for the reason he will never ever listen to anyone, he does what he wants and god forbid anyone tells him any different. He will come home from work, sit in front of the TV, either watch sport all night or play Xbox and drink until 12/1am.

So my girlfriend has tried with the mum but so far no luck. Thank you though, with the feedback we will go away and think what to do next. Thank you

You really don’t think there’s any middle ground between a thimbleful and the volumes this woman is drinking?

Just looked at one those online morning after calculators and according to it after a bottle of wine you should wait 11 hours after stopping drinking before driving.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do. They will never stop until they decide they want to and even then they will need help. It is a terrible situation and you're right to be concerned. As others have said, contact. Al Anon or some other organisation which helps friends and relatives of alcoholics.

A friend of mine who is alcoholic has just been diagnosed with oesophageal cancer in his early fifties. It’s terminal. And incredibly painful. Totally caused by his drinking.

This woman and her husband are aware of the risks but are choosing not to seek help for their addiction. There’s very little your GF can do about it. I would spend as little time with them as possible and hope GF can move out soon.

It's doubly hard for the Op's GF because her parents are supporting each other in their drinking.

Having a really supportive partner will help her a lot OP. Just be aware that neither of you can fix this. I always recommend therapy for adult children of alcoholics, but AL anon can also help.

Also, and this might seem unnecessary at this point, your GF will probably want to keep an eye on her own coping mechanisms as alcohol abuse can often run in families.

Id be worried about leaving the 11year old in that situation. You could discuss with school/social services. Someone needs to safeguard her

I doubt she'll be safe to practice with that level of intake, she could be putting lives at risk as well as her professional registration

I don’t know how anyone can do it. I like a drink, my main issue is that I can’t just have one - but I also can’t finish a whole bottle of wine to myself either and usually drink twice per week max - but sometimes go through periods of abstinence just simply because I don’t feel like drinking.
That’s a LOT of wine.

No but they can suspend them from duty pending investigation, it's a dismissable offence. They can also report to her professional body, with a view to sanctions

My mom wags the same and to be honest I remember asking a Dr about it. A functioning alcoholic was his answer.

Doesn’t mean it’s right!

Her mum is an alcoholic and so is her dad sadly.

It sounds as if your gf mum is a functioning alcoholic.
It is a lot of alcohol and your right to be concerned but until she recognises she has a problem there's not a lot she can do.

Cyrosis of the liver if she’s not careful
i know someone who did the same , they died 2yrs ago
very sad

Does she drink alone/ with your dad or is some of it social drinking? Either way I agree you’re right to be concerned- especially if none of it is shared/social.

Sometimes she must be going to work with alcohol in her system. That’s very dangerous. I’d get her one of those morning after alcohol breath tests to see.

With those amounts, I don't think it makes any difference if it's social drinking or drinking alone. It's just a huge, dangerous amount of alcohol.

Yes this is very important. I would focus on getting her to a safe place.

Has she contacted al anon
they would be best placed to advise rather than folk who have no/little experience with the disease of alcoholism
you can’t help anyone with an addiction unless they want to be helped
if you want peace you sometimes have to let them reach their own rock-bottom and recovery is then possible
there is no point in making your own life miserable you can be ready to give support but the alcoholic has to have a desire to stop

FFS this is someone’s life !!