Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

[Zodiac82]

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

Er, because it her mum and she loves her and cares about her welfare.

Drinking bottles of wine on a nightly basis over the course of a week at this level is of alcoholic proportions...if this is the situation she is going into work in the mornings drunk and she is drink driving. There are not enough hours befote her shift to clear the alcohol. The father is also drinking heavily and together they have got their fingers on the self destruct button. You girlfriends mother is also putting a child at risk by driving her in the car while she is under the influence. They are treading a very thin line and sooner or later there will be an event. The problem is this, these people are drinking at a level that will be difficult for them to stop, they are not just going to be able to cut down. They have to want to stop. I'm not sure how old you and your girlfriend are . Are there relatives of their age you could speak to? Maybe they could speak to them. Drinking at this magnitude is not going unnoticed I can assure you. Your girlfriend has tried reasoning with them in a nice way but perhaps she has to toughen her stance, that will cause huge rows. Photograph the empties in the recycling . Point out the cost. 10 bottles of cheap wine is about £70, £7.00 nightly going on beer, shes working to drink!. Your girlfriend must however aim to protect her sister and stop her getting into the car if her mother has been drinking. Your girlfriend could take the car keys and warn her mother that she's putting people at risk by her behaviour. She could cause an accident, cause problems at work ..she won't be working fit for sure. Sooner or later she's going to get dismissed for being drunk on duty..she probably smells of alcohol. You could get advice from organisations like Al Anon, they have a department that advises families of alcoholics. It is a tricky situation for you as your intervention would be unwelcome and all you can do is support your girlfriend . This is however a serious problem and there are huge risks that sooner or later there will be an incident.

Good point. The liver is very good at dealing with all sorts of abuse until one day it can't cope any more and you're suddenly in very serious trouble.

That is a lot to drink on the regular. How is this any of your concern?

Whats with all the people asking why its ops concern?! Its their girlfriend and its impacting her.

I wouldn't be able to function drinking that much, especially over the course of week or month. I would be too groggy and hungover. Her parents sound like they have what's termed as 'functional alcoholism'.

I’m afraid she’s an alcoholic

No they can’t. Unless you are employed with a contract which states you will be subjected to regular and/or unannounced drug checks, you can’t be forced to be tested. You’d need to be visibly drunk and incapacitated before an investigation into your drug/alcohol use could commence.

This is scary and that’s the reality. I think many people enjoy their wine (I’m one) I never have more than a bottle and not every night but it catches up with you and you begin to feel yuck. I’ve not touched a drop for four weeks, have changed my diet and feel so much better.

Women power on, functioning and you think if I can do x,y,z there’s no issue but it’s you that suffers ultimately.

Nope! Policy will state you must not report for duty if you are under the influence but they cannot force testing. Even if someone is brought into A&E unconscious, legally they cannot be tested without consent.

Glad she is not nursing me that’s an insane amount. Why is she drinking so
much?

I totally agree. But people often don’t want the responsibility/hassle/guilt which comes with reporting someone and them potentially someone losing their job. The NMC as an organisation are actually pretty poor and have a massive backlog of fitness to practice cases, despite “streamlining” the process years ago.

Nursing is bad for ignoring issues and hoping someone else takes the lead. Poorly performing nurses, those that bully others etc are often just moved to another clinical area rather than disciplined and dealt with. I once worked in a ward when a nurse was caught stealing from a patient’s locker and they were just asked to leave and given a reference for a new job! There’s a whole raft of literature about it including not failing poor students and instead giving them a low pass hoping the mentor on the next placement will fail them.

I think this would be a way of addressing this. Your girlfriend has presented her mother with the evidence, she is giving her a chance to address the problem..and it is a serious problem. I'm retired and I've always enjoyed a glass of wine. Most women will not manage to consume a whole bottle of say 13% red or white wine in one sitting without feeling drunk, even if they don't and with regular consumption they may not and go on drinking. Throwing up ( which she may be doing) doesn't help because the alcohol is quickly absorbed and the effects have not fully occurred. . After 5 hours 'sleep' she will wake up feeling hung over and still be under the influence of drink, bad head, bad belly, dehydrated, shaky poorly coordinated, temperamental . No state to go to work in or drive a car. Your girlfriend may have to get proactive, she will need support and advice on what to do. Her mother could cause an accident, she'd lose her job, her daughter may be put on the child protection register, she'd lose her license if she's caught drinkdriving. She could end up in prison. It happens. This problem is more prevalent than you think and it affects both sexes, all ages, professional people..People from all walks of life. Alcohol is a drug and it is the most abused drug on the planet.

Her colleagues must have noticed she stinks of booze every day! I would be reporting her anonymously for the drink driving. Perhaps it would be helpful for her to have some breathalyser tests at home so she can see she is over the limit to drive. Might make her cut down just a little bit.

Yes, it's a lot - certainly way over recommended limits. I'm sure they know that anyway but can't or don't want to do anything different. Only they can change their behaviour. Why are you keeping track?

A bottle of 12% wine is 9 units so she could be drinking almost 18 units a night. I think alcohol disperses after the first hour at about one unit an hour so she could well be over the limit for driving the following morning. Also very unlikely to be performing at her best at work.

Great nurse.

That's appalling. She's putting other people at risk by drink- driving. Is it possible to report it to the police? Would they do anything?

Not ideal but not something I could get majorly worked up about. Quite normal to drink every day in many countries. In England we love to clutch pearls if anybody daresome have more than a thimble full per annum.

She’s drinking enough to kill her. Not a thimble full. An enormous amount. 35 units a week is considered highly dangerous by health professionals. She’s drinking 90+

Yeah that's just silly.

You’re right, my bad; it’s 10 units for an average bottle…

Agree, the NMC are shit poor as an organisation for various reasons but I would still raise concerns. That way they can’t plead ignorance or pass the buck.

Yes sounds like an alcoholic to me too.

Sounds like someone useful to know if you want to bottle up a few gallons of homebrew wine.

That's a serious amount of booze. It'd take me about 5 years to drink that much.