Girlfriend mum drinks 9/11 bottles a wine a week

[Zodiac82]

My girlfriend mum will drink easily between 9/11 bottles of wine a week and despite my girlfriend talking to her, she don't feel it is a issue.

The dad also drinks heavily, around 6/8 cans nightly. Both work full time, she works as a nurse.

My girlfriend made a diary of how much she drank at home in June and it was 47 bottles.

Now am I wrong in thinking that this is a insane amount of wine to be drinking on a weekly basis? I don't drink at all myself but having 1/2 bottles bottles each night seems crazy to me.

Alcoholics rarely are willing to hear that they need to stop. They have to be in a place in their own journey where they are ready.

your girlfriend can tell her parents that she has observed a problem.
Then she needs to step back.

She needs to set boundaries like not visiting during the time of day they tend to drink. She can also decline phone calls after a certain point in the day. She should not stay overnight in their home or let them stay overnight in hers. She should never holiday with them. If someday she has children, they absolutely under no circumstances, should ever be allowed to babysit.

That's a lot of wine, she'll need professional help to stop otherwise she'll be facing serious effects of withdrawal. Has your gf spoken to your mother's gp about these concerns.

Desperately trying to think of a wine-related 9/11 joke, but I've got nothing.

You’d be amazed at how people survive. My mum’s being doing similar for as long as I remember. She’s 87. She’s ended up in hospital this week for ‘only’ the 2nd time since my dad died, think he just ensured she didn’t hurt herself. She felt ‘unwell’, was hallucinating, but the nurses are putting it down to dehydration, again. I need to speak to them re her alcohol consumption.

Edit: they’re saying she needs respite care before going home (will she ever go home?) and she obviously won’t be allowed to drink or smoke. Probably too much to hope she’ll therefore give up, she’s always gone straight back to both post hospital visits.

Yes they are both alcoholics who will deny anything wrong

Your gf would do well to attend Al-Anon for the relatives of alcoholics

Send the person a copy or a printout of this

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/4497210-Partner-does-not-want-me-to-drink or another thread like it

surely the hospital has picked up on this as surely her performance must have suffered
I only hope they have not ignored it and someone else suffers because of it.

I know. But without proof, they can’t actually do anything.

They are functioning alcoholics which must be so worrying for your girlfriend.

I have no advice because they will be fully aware of how damaging it is but all your girlfriend can do is ask that they cut down for her sake and keep on.

I’m not sure why the first poster asked why she’s tracking it - I think this is a good way to show her parents exactly how much they’re drinking.
It’s like when you’re dieting, it’s good to track your food intake as often you can fool yourself into thinking you’re eating less.

Absent the alcoholic in question being filmed taking swigs from a bottle of vodka while they're on the ward, what constitutes proof in this context? Can an NHS manager insist that one of their staff takes a breathalyser test based on suspicion of being intoxicated?

It’s a lot but how have you worked that out? Most wine is under 10 units a bottle so 11x10 is 110 units.

Surely the hospital has a drugs and alcohol policy whereby they can actually test the individual for misuse.

While the individual may function "normally" their blood alcohol level must be off the scale.

Still better to speak up than to say nothing at all. Imagine if she causes serious harm to someone or kills someone and someone knew there was a problem but decided not to say anything. I wouldn’t want that on my conscience, would you?

The NMC provides guidance on how to raise concerns and encourages a culture of openness and support in healthcare settings.

This lady’s drinking is at hazardous levels. She must feel revolting - constantly pissed or hungover.
I feel so sorry for her poor daughter - she must be worried sick.

I would be trying to find out what this wine is a coping strategy for. What is the issue she is facing that she needs wine in order to manage? Has something happened? Is she struggling with her work and finding it difficult? I imagine being a nurse she has seen and experienced some horrors and maybe something like a significant death has really hit her hard.

They are both functioning alcoholics.

dad drinks 6-8 cans a night = 17.6 units daily /= 123.2 units a week

mum drinks 1.5 bottles of wine a day = 15 units daily /= 110 units a week

recommended is 14 units per week

they both are unlikely to be around long term at this rate. Do they acknowledge they are problem drinkers?

I feel hungover reading this

Ooh my mum has her beat. Two bottles of red a night for her.

We no longer speak

Two bottles of red wine a night 🤢.

Well she’s an alcoholic. Her liver will pay the price. She needs help.

My SIL (OH's older sister) regularly drank 2-3 bottles of wine per night. She also had a heavy smoking habit. She died earlier this month at just 63, as a result of multiple health issues brought on by her lifestyle choices. She was another who said she'd rather 'enjoy' her habits - even if it meant reducing her life considerably. And that's exactly what happened.

I’m not sure why it’s your problem/business ?

She clearly knows it’s not good to be drinking that much but for me, the worst thing is the fact she’s a nurse and treating patients - potentially under the influence of alcohol.

Even if she is sober at work, her alcoholic mindset sadly isn’t going to be one of clarity. If she can’t look after her own health, she can’t look after patients’ health. Not properly I don’t think.
Its very sad her DD is asking her to stop.

Are you paying for it?

Are you open with your health professionals about your intake? You may have a compensating liver that will not show abnormalities until it is too late. They need to know to dig deeper. They may consider fuller screening than a routine liver function test, and take a specific history to assess alcohol impact. Consider taking vitamin B1 supplements, though the risk of permanent disability or death results from alcohol preventing its absorption so you still need to reduce that. Good luck.