Furious at DH and his friend bringing someone back to our house

[TiredSaturdayy]

My DH’s friend is staying for the weekend. He lives about 4 hours away and they only see each other once a year. This is perfectly fine with me as I usually get on well with him.

Last night, they both went out into town to catch up. DH got into bed about 1am, I sleep lightly so was woken but soon got to sleep. His friend is staying in our spare bedroom.

I am woken by noises shortly after. I wake DH and ask if he can hear them. He says there’s something he needs to tell me and that his friend met a women in the last bar they were in and INVITED HER HOME! So the noises were infact them ‘at it’ in my spare bedroom.

I go ballistic at DH and ask why he thought this was acceptable. Our DC is away this weekend which is beyond the point. Completely irresponsible to allow a stranger into our house in those circumstances.

I tell DH that if he doesn’t ask her to leave then I will. He says he’ll message his friend. No reply. He’s about to get up and knock on the door when we hear it open and his friend sees her out and she eventually leaves.

DH is asleep still now, I am downstairs absolutely aghast at their behaviour. If he thinks I am sorting out the fry up they kept on about before they went out then they’ve another thing coming.

The way your DH described the woman was disgusting
His friend should 100% have gone to a hotel. I wonder if he suggested this but your DH told him to bring her back?
My DH knows me better than to pull a stunt like that. Having said that he also wouldn't go out to catch up with an old friend and be chatting up women. And that's what will have happened. I don't believe for a second that the 'mad for it' woman approached them on her own, interrupting their cozy little chat and dragged the friend back to yours to ravage.

DH’s defence was purely ‘DC isn’t here’ so I’d like to think it wouldn’t have happened if they were.

Tbf she went back there so I think you're giving her way too much credit. I'd make the guy pay for a hotel room at least.

I’m not sure on that detail, I’ll need to speak to him when he eventually emerges. I don’t expect him to ignore all females on a night out though, that’d be strange and vice-versa, I’ve had many an innocent/friendly chat.

Bit weird that your dh spent the night as a third wheel whilst his mate was on the pull if he came to visit him so they could catch up

misses the point of the thread

I think everyone is giving DH too much of hard time, yes he was dumb but let's face it most guys wouldn't really think it through and probably be happy their mate is getting a shag. I'd like to think my DH wouldn't be this dumb because he knows I'd lose my shit, but if he was married to a more easygoing person he wouldn't bat an eyelid he'd just be pleased for his friend. OP DH has learnt his lesson I'm sure.

I’m always astounded at people who get hysterical over something like this when it happens once. If it was a regular occurrence then maybe it’s time to put your foot down but there is some room here to just chill and let it pass.

Sure but both men are all grown up.

If the woman is sober and drug free and not taken/forced to the location and the men can prove this happy days.

If the woman made a police report for any reason the OP has a police search warrent with all that involves

Not in my house!
It's not a knocking shop.
YANBU

Sorry I would've absolutely lost it as well. Who's going to be left to clean the sheets? 🤢
He could've taken her back to a hotel. On that front also, there's nothing to say this total stranger could've lifted anything, spare key, cash, car keys. Your home is your own and if you have expected guests you can put things away, but not when a stranger strolls in when you're in bed without your knowledge. So so disrespectful from your H, his guest and the woman. Do people have no shame?!

I expect your DH and his mate hoped you'd sleep through it and mate could sneak her out before you woke this morning. At least it's only once a year so you won't see the mate for a long time but today could be awkward Op. I hope you're out somewhere having a lovely big breakfast while your DH strips the bed

Very disrespectful. I wouldn’t be happy at all, and I would let it be known the next annual visit he can book a hotel.
I doubt he will even think to strip the bed and wash it, so ensure this happens. Go out - they can sort their own breakfast.
Incidentally, is he married? And was a taxi arranged for the female in question, or was she just released on to the street at some un-godly hour?
Grim.

It is ‘another thing coming’….. (sorry not the point of the thread)

I think the DH should've warned you in case you came face to face with a stranger on your way to the toilet. As long as the "clean up" wasn't being dealt with by me I wouldn't have much of an issue beyond that.

Your DH who is jointly responsible for the house, assessed the situation and brought someone in who you didn't know, that could be a new mate from the pub rather than a woman and I would be equally disconcerted. If they turned out to be a thief and all our valuables had gone missing that would've been on the DH.

Why couldn’t the friend gone back to hers ?

yes I wouldn’t be too impressed being woken up to a strange woman shagging

I would have def stuck around to see what she looked like and how she behaved to you

I'd be annoyed and think it was cheeky and disrespectful of them, both the woman and the man. I'd be annoyed with dh for being so stupid. But I wouldn't think they are disgusting people, they are at an age where maybe opportunity doesn't knock very often and took advantage. They should have gone to a hotel room, and dh should absolutely have cleared it with you before saying they could come home.. but with drink on board I can see how it all panned out the way it did. I'd be letting dh and his friend know this wasn't ok in future but I wouldn't be getting terribly upset about it to be honest. I could see us having a good laugh about it over breakfast.

Both are commonly used, but the original expression was "another think" as in "if you think (blah blah) then you have another think coming".

What are you going on about. Woman and man fancied a shag after a night out, stop taking this down an unnecessary route. Wouldnt make any difference if it happened in a hotel room or back alley if you want to start talking about rape.

Very inappropriate but I couldn’t get worked up about it, as what’s done is done.

Its DH’s home just as much as it is yours and as no kids were home then your opinion doesn’t automatically trump his.

Let it go and speak to DH after his friends gone home.
Ask him not to do it again in future.

Well actually a houseguest bringing an unknown, presumably drunk, woman into the house to have sex in the guest bedroom is a big deal.

Apart from the practical security issues regarding theft and damage there is the total disregard for the fact it isn't his house to start asking unknown people into. And it isnt just OP 's H who owns the house : it's OP 's home too and she has a right to say who is invited in there. And the right not to be woken up by 2 strangers having sex in the guest room of her home.

And what about the scenario that was started off as 2 friends going out for a catch up but ended up with one of them bringing his pick up back for sex. What was OP's H doing while his friend was propositioning this woman? Just as well OP was at home actually.

It’s think.

I would be pissed off too op. She is a complete stranger and could steal anything. I would also make him strip the bed and put the sheets in the wash...how grim. This isn't a uni shared house, this is your home.

Bloody hell, it's a bit bleurgh and yes immature but hardly the end of the world. They were out, they were drinking and let's face it a (presumably attractive) woman is looking for a no-strings shag. Your kids aren't home, what do you think this woman is going to do in your house that you and two men can't handle?

I wonder why the best scenario for the ‘bunk up’ was to go back to his mates marital home and not her place? Was her husband home? Still lives with parents? If they were that desperate he should have splashed out on a premier bin like other classy couples.

There’s no way I’d be chilling and letting pass, that my dh’s friend, on a once a year catch up with dh, decided to use my house as a ONS shag pad, with my dh’s permission. Whichever way you look at it, it’s grim. I’d also be pre-empting it becoming a regular occurrence by suggesting that for the next catch-up, the friend books himself into a nearby hotel.