Furious at DH and his friend bringing someone back to our house

[TiredSaturdayy]

My DH’s friend is staying for the weekend. He lives about 4 hours away and they only see each other once a year. This is perfectly fine with me as I usually get on well with him.

Last night, they both went out into town to catch up. DH got into bed about 1am, I sleep lightly so was woken but soon got to sleep. His friend is staying in our spare bedroom.

I am woken by noises shortly after. I wake DH and ask if he can hear them. He says there’s something he needs to tell me and that his friend met a women in the last bar they were in and INVITED HER HOME! So the noises were infact them ‘at it’ in my spare bedroom.

I go ballistic at DH and ask why he thought this was acceptable. Our DC is away this weekend which is beyond the point. Completely irresponsible to allow a stranger into our house in those circumstances.

I tell DH that if he doesn’t ask her to leave then I will. He says he’ll message his friend. No reply. He’s about to get up and knock on the door when we hear it open and his friend sees her out and she eventually leaves.

DH is asleep still now, I am downstairs absolutely aghast at their behaviour. If he thinks I am sorting out the fry up they kept on about before they went out then they’ve another thing coming.

My partner’s lodger got asked to leave for doing exactly this. My 8 year old was in the room next door.

Completely unacceptable.

I think going ballistic was OTT. Surely you can just say you’re not comfortable and that you’d like her to leave? Do you mean you were angry, shouting etc?

Personally, if my kids weren’t there I’d not be bothered and be fine with him having his fun. With my kids home I’d be less happy though I’d not go ballistic.

I must be immature because I'd just unmercifully rip the piss in the morning but probably wouldn't be angry

I cannot imagine doing this and my DH being ok with it. Would your DH be ok with a friend of yours bringing a stranger back? If not, that’s your answer.

It’s totally ok to want to know who is in your house.

Your house is not his hotel, he isn’t paying for privilege of bringing randoms back.

Yeuch. That’s grim. How old are they??!

I think it’s a bit icky, it’s not UNI or a shared house. It’s the home of a family.

If he wants a shag he should do it at his own home.

I think it's massively disrespectful by the friend and your DH. I'm also wondering about the thinking process of 2 men bringing a woman who doesn't know them back to a strange house - I'd like to think that men are better than this but, here we are.

i’d be absolutely livid. Years ago something similar happened and I had a lot of stuff stolen by the stranger allowed in my home. None of you knew this person from Adam and it’s completely unacceptable. I don’t think you’ve overreacted.

Early 40’s so old enough to know better. DH described the woman as recently divorced and mad for it!

I would be furious.

Can you go out and treat yourself to a lovely breakfast and some time to yourself?

Meh. I wouldn’t care if there were no children in the house. I would mercilessly take the piss this morning though!

Not the point of the post but why was it assumed you would be running about after them this morning making a fry up. It’s your DH’s pal, he should be hosting.

It's a bit grim but I'm not sure I'd go ballistic over it. It would be different if your DC were home.

I was happy to put on a breakfast. Not now - everything is in the fridge so they can sort it themselves.

Sorry if I'm being thick but why? I agree it's grim in OPs house and so unacceptable, but in a different scenario or if it was the friends house if they're consenting adults what's the issue?

This is icky but I voted YABU because your husband gave him permission and your kids were away.

If the friend is genuinely apologetic when you next see him, tell him he was - at best! - very disrespectful and that there better not be a repeat of anything like it again. Then move on with your day.

If not - if he thinks it was no big deal or a bit of a laugh - tell him to pack his stuff and go.

As for your husband - what was he thinking? He'd rather piss you off than say no to his mate? He needs a kick up the arse as well.

And the thinking process of a woman going back to a house with two men she doesnt know?

I don't think the bringing someone home thing would bother me so much as wondering how it occurred I.e. dh and friend must have spent the evening with a group of women for a decent period of time because typically a single womenan doesn't just find a pair of blokes and go off with them. I'm my day, the boy/girl groups.fused together for the evening before breaking off.

Absolutely disgusting behaviour by both men. Treating your home like a brothel almost.
Why didn't this man take the woman to a hotel for sex?
I would actually wonder what your H gets up to on evenings out without you when he has so little respect for you and the marital home.

I know- just taking on faith the second man actually had a wife asleep at home…

Another THINK coming.

*runs off

People should be warned so, car keys, jewellery, handbags etc aren't downstairs. There could be tech in the children's room that could be carried out, while everyone is asleep. Just because it's a woman being brought back, doesn't mean that there isn't any risk. Then there's the disturbance of the OP's sleep.

I would do this as would not want to face them over the breakfast table.