Furious at DH and his friend bringing someone back to our house

[TiredSaturdayy]

My DH’s friend is staying for the weekend. He lives about 4 hours away and they only see each other once a year. This is perfectly fine with me as I usually get on well with him.

Last night, they both went out into town to catch up. DH got into bed about 1am, I sleep lightly so was woken but soon got to sleep. His friend is staying in our spare bedroom.

I am woken by noises shortly after. I wake DH and ask if he can hear them. He says there’s something he needs to tell me and that his friend met a women in the last bar they were in and INVITED HER HOME! So the noises were infact them ‘at it’ in my spare bedroom.

I go ballistic at DH and ask why he thought this was acceptable. Our DC is away this weekend which is beyond the point. Completely irresponsible to allow a stranger into our house in those circumstances.

I tell DH that if he doesn’t ask her to leave then I will. He says he’ll message his friend. No reply. He’s about to get up and knock on the door when we hear it open and his friend sees her out and she eventually leaves.

DH is asleep still now, I am downstairs absolutely aghast at their behaviour. If he thinks I am sorting out the fry up they kept on about before they went out then they’ve another thing coming.

🤣🤣 loopy

In someone else’s house that was not yours, the shags or a student house, but someone else’s actual home? That’s very crass and bad mannered of you. It’s not a smacked arse face to comment that you’d not be happy about it.

What would you have done if OP had said who the hell are you and why are you in my house?

And no I’ve never had a ons with someone I hadn’t previously met.

Won’t someone think about the thing.

I’ve asked but I’ve yet to see an example sentence of using thing instead of think.

Some posters are still missing the point. Either that or they have no manners or are completely lacking in social awareness.

I think some posters are just seeing it as two people enjoying a ons and what’s the harm in that? They can’t seem to compute for some reason (lack of critical thinking abilities?) that if you got up in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning and saw a complete stranger in your house, you should be fine with it because they’re just enjoying a shag with your weekend guest in the guest bedroom and don’t be so bloody uptight about it. 🙄

There are some very odd people on MN sometimes with the lowest boundaries.

i think you went ott
obviously it is not nice but they are not children

I’m not “missing the point”, I just wouldn’t be bothered by a guest having someone back to our house for a shag.
If OP is, then that’s how she feels and clearly that’s ok.

But I don’t think her husband is BU because plenty of people, me included, wouldn’t be bothered and he is probably in that group. Now he knows that they don’t share the same view he can be more mindful.

I have no idea if my DH would feel the same as me…. I’ll have to ask him, in case I inadvertently allow a friend to do the same and upset him. It just wouldn’t occur to me that he would be annoyed or upset about it.

The craziest thing after all that is OP seems
to have made a fry up for them the morning after. Way to reward bad behaviour.

You have a lot of faith in two drunk men - OP’s DH said she was “gagging for it” which does not strike me as a sober and respectful assessment of her ability to consent.

Maybe she was sober enough to make a capacitous decision and just made a really appalling risk assessment. Maybe she was too drunk to have capacity and the two men were too drunk to notice, or didn’t really care as long as one of them got a shag. The fact that she sobered up and scarpered at 3am suggests she thought better of it, either way.

Because he went home to his wife father than " pulling," a woman.

And I often go out with single female groups. Strangely we aren't " on the pull"

This happened to me.. husband has his friend staying for abit. Friend took a woman back to our house… turned out woman was married and shagging behind her husband’s back in my house! I was fucking fuming!

I'd be absolutely fuming with the pair of them. It's not a cheap B&B.

Personally, I'd be heading out somewhere for breakfast, which a message to both of them saying you expect the spare bedding to be washed, dried and back on the bed by the time your home, something nice cooking in the over, and the friend not to be there.

Have you told your husband you'd encourage him to spend all night talking to single women who may or may not be on the pull? Which, incidently, was great fun in my youth.

I suspect that the OPs husband has a couple things happening this weekend which may quailfy🤷‍♀️

Has nobody mentioned that OP was happy to just kick a drunk woman out onto the street at 3am?

I didn't notice that but presumably a cab could have been ordered. It didn't happen anyway, the woman left later on.

It should not have happened, these are not teenagers trying to find somewhere for nooky, they are grown people who can wait and who should know better than to get drunk and go off with an unknown.

My partner had been known to go out and talk to single women friend. Same as I often go out with single male friends, in fact I went on holiday with one for a month recently.

It's no big deal. We actually trust each other

Friends is a bit different to telling your wife you're going out to catch up with a mate a few times a year and you actually don't spend the time together.with your mste, you spend it being wingman and chatting to single women you don't know.

Personally if I had 5 hours spare I'd want to talk to my mate or be home because i actually like those people rather than strangers ill never see again (even if I did enjoy the flirting)

He was still with his mate being wingman.

Cabs aren't always the easiest to come by 3am though, particularly if you don't live in a city. OP wanted her out the house NOW, that would be incredibly jarring for someone who was presumably in the midst of some drunken fun and had been given the OK by OP's DH. If she was unable to order an uber, her safety could easily have been compromised and she would have been in an incredibly vulnerable position. I think we should all know better and do better after cases such as Sarah Everard.

I'm noticing a misogynistic rhetoric from some posters on this thread. It would have been okay for OP to feel miffed and have words with her DH after everyone left, but the vitriol directed towards this woman who did nothing wrong is misplaced. I think OP is jealous because her DH and friend were giving attention to another woman and probably knows deep down they were chatting to multiple women on the night out.

It's not. That's a corruption. Think about it.

Or thing about it, if you prefer.

https://www.vocabulary.com/articles/pardon-the-expression/another-think-coming-vs-another-thing-coming/

I think that is quite unusual TBH.

The holiday, I mean, not the trust.

Er, the original post of this thread?

Oh haha, 😁 you’re right

My thoughts too! I certainly wouldn’t have cared in the middle of the night