Furious at DH and his friend bringing someone back to our house

[TiredSaturdayy]

My DH’s friend is staying for the weekend. He lives about 4 hours away and they only see each other once a year. This is perfectly fine with me as I usually get on well with him.

Last night, they both went out into town to catch up. DH got into bed about 1am, I sleep lightly so was woken but soon got to sleep. His friend is staying in our spare bedroom.

I am woken by noises shortly after. I wake DH and ask if he can hear them. He says there’s something he needs to tell me and that his friend met a women in the last bar they were in and INVITED HER HOME! So the noises were infact them ‘at it’ in my spare bedroom.

I go ballistic at DH and ask why he thought this was acceptable. Our DC is away this weekend which is beyond the point. Completely irresponsible to allow a stranger into our house in those circumstances.

I tell DH that if he doesn’t ask her to leave then I will. He says he’ll message his friend. No reply. He’s about to get up and knock on the door when we hear it open and his friend sees her out and she eventually leaves.

DH is asleep still now, I am downstairs absolutely aghast at their behaviour. If he thinks I am sorting out the fry up they kept on about before they went out then they’ve another thing coming.

Please make him clean the sex room later. Gross,
Imagine that stranger going through your stuff in the bathroom when you are out ! Fucking minging

“The idiom is "another think coming," though "another thing coming" is a common variant. "Another think coming" is the original and more idiomatic expression, meaning someone should reconsider their current understanding or expectation because it's incorrect. "Another thing coming" is likely a mishearing of the original phrase that has gained popularity‘

Sigh

What happens ( or should happen) in the UK when a person claims to have been sexually assaulted?

There are some odd posts on here. Some people being perfectly happy to have a stranger shagging in their house without their prior knowledge of said stranger being in the house, very odd.

Maybe she was recently divorced and mad for it, nothing wrong with wanting to have sex (even if you are a woman, shock horror). That's what one night stands are: no deeper connection needed.

It does show little bit poor judgement on the friends side but since your DH was with him and they all came back to the house together, DHs friend probably didnt think he was doing anything wrong since your husband was okay with him bringing the woman back to the house.

I'm not saying you need to be okay with any of this but you do need to have a chat with your husband more than his friend.

Can you give an example sentence of the correct use of ‘thing’ (to give context?)

Jesus Christ this is interminable.

You've asserted that the men have acted badly toward the woman, absent any suggestion of sexual assault.

Please PLEASE explain, in a straightforward way without going off on tangents, why this is so.

Yes... the way its described its like he totally believes that this is undeniable justification because.. well how could his friend turn down an offer like that. So you and DH just have to facilitate it. I'd be annoyed that DH was so OK with it.

I'd be saying very firmly. or even texting so he take it in, to the Friend.

"You were invited to stay at our home to visit DH. You were not invited so you could bring back a random shag and wake us all up. DC wasn't there but even so that was unacceptable, also expecting me to clean up after you and make your "Big Fry Up".
Do you have any idea how insulting that is?
I'm sure DH will be happy to have you visit but the next time you do, you will be staying in a hotel."

Copy your DH in.

Why not just say it like it is?

3 of DH friends up from London! DH comes in gets in bed bladdered. Same as you I hear noises. I flip on DH for allowing it, I flip on friend my house is not a brothel, I flip on the girl - she’s left her mate downstairs with the other 2 anything could have happened to her! (It’s wouldn’t off they are nice lads but you get my drift)

when I say flipped I mean as furious as I have been! The disrespect to bring strangers in to our home, to use it for a one night stand, it was seedy and horrible!!

I asserted no such think thing

I'm also wondering about the thinking process of 2 men bringing a woman who doesn't know them back to a strange house

" Woohooo!!!
lets bring the drunk woman home with us
👍👍👍
what could go wrong 👀 "
said the married man to his friend.

> (And the reverse is true for the men so high risk choice )

no, it isn't.

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/have-another-think-coming

Your DH'S friend shouldn't have brought a stranger into your home, that was thoughtless and disrespectful, but your DH is in the wrong here for saying yes. I assume friend wouldn't have done it if he'd said no.

You would be comfortable with a complete stranger (to ALL of you) coming into your home and having sex in your spare bedroom? I can think of a number of ways this could be dangerous.

Also, please take note of this post- similar situation with stolen items as the result:

*sameshizz · Today 08:13

i’d be absolutely livid. Years ago something similar happened and I had a lot of stuff stolen by the stranger allowed in my home. None of you knew this person from Adam and it’s completely unacceptable. I don’t think you’ve overreacted.

It's obvious it's think! It's usually prefaced with 'If you think..'

As in 'If you I'm going to let your friend bring a ONS to our home, you've got another think coming'

Treating any woman like what?

Sounds like there was a connection with the people involved reading OPs posts. A woman would have to be extremely drunk to not know what she was doing and if she was that drunk he wouldn't have brought her back to his wife's home.

It's exactly the same as people who say and write 'somethink' (or usually 'sumfink'), and that's in no way considered acceptable.

Why? And why does it matter if your son is autistic? I'm guessing from the undertone that you just don't like your stepson. Who was actually being very mature in asking about that boundary.

I'm going to shock you now. When I was that age my mum said I could bring people back. Because she's an adult, and knows that part of being able to have safe sex is having a safe space to do it in.

At least it was only ‘mad for it’ rather than the infinitely worse ‘gagging for it’!

Okay, I'm out. You either seriously lack reading comprehension skills or are trolling me (quite well, to be fair).

I would be angry with my DH for not checking with me first. I don't think I could turf a women out at night alone though.

Or you lack any ability to see any risks involved when 2 male brings home a drunk woman for sex.

I would have been annoyed at being woken up/kept awake by the noise TBH, and by the fact that the guest was rude enough to invite a random stranger back.

Where does it say the woman was drunk? Or at least drunk enough to not know what she was doing, which is what your suggesting.

I wouldn't give a rats if there were no kids in the house. If you want to be annoyed at anyone its your DH for allowing her back in the 1st place. I would also be thinking that she wasn't on her own in town. Has he been entertaining her pals.