Furious at DH and his friend bringing someone back to our house

[TiredSaturdayy]

My DH’s friend is staying for the weekend. He lives about 4 hours away and they only see each other once a year. This is perfectly fine with me as I usually get on well with him.

Last night, they both went out into town to catch up. DH got into bed about 1am, I sleep lightly so was woken but soon got to sleep. His friend is staying in our spare bedroom.

I am woken by noises shortly after. I wake DH and ask if he can hear them. He says there’s something he needs to tell me and that his friend met a women in the last bar they were in and INVITED HER HOME! So the noises were infact them ‘at it’ in my spare bedroom.

I go ballistic at DH and ask why he thought this was acceptable. Our DC is away this weekend which is beyond the point. Completely irresponsible to allow a stranger into our house in those circumstances.

I tell DH that if he doesn’t ask her to leave then I will. He says he’ll message his friend. No reply. He’s about to get up and knock on the door when we hear it open and his friend sees her out and she eventually leaves.

DH is asleep still now, I am downstairs absolutely aghast at their behaviour. If he thinks I am sorting out the fry up they kept on about before they went out then they’ve another thing coming.

God women are so infantilised on this site. It’s embarrassing.

I hope that your DH is also going to be stripping/washing & remaking the spare room bed? This is really on your DH for allowing his mate to bring this woman back to YOUR house! He didn't even bother to message you to say they were bringing someone back. It was obvious they would be shagging but your DH thought this was ok behaviour and you wouldn't be cross about it.

Your DH sounds delightful.....

I would have gone mad as well, it's disrespectful and disgusting to just bring someone back to someone else's house without permission. They could be thieves and potentially trash your house.

That's not the same though is it?

A lodger pays rent to live there and treat a place like their home, its not unreasonable for someone to invite someone else back to their home. Its completely unacceptable for a weekend guest to invite someone back in these circumstances!

What happens ( or should happen) in the UK when a person claims to have been sexually assaulted?

Who's claiming to have been sexually assaulted?

What on earth are you talking about?

He was asked as a visitor and he sneaked in a stranger into your home. Very disrespectful to you and your home. He saw your home as a benefit to him not about visiting you and your partner. Your husband should have politely said " No..won't be happening "

Actually I think the DH is more at fault. It was his family home and his wife asleep upstairs. The friend doesn't give a fuck and has no vested interested in respecting or ensuring the safety etc of either of those things. The DH should have told his friend it was not OK and to take the woman to a hotel for a shag.

I'm sorry but what 🤣 I've been saying thing as well, now wondering what other phrases I've been saying wrong

Has the actual point gone completely over your head?

When you mentioned, they were at it in your spare room,I found it amusing! It was really not appropriate.I would of not been happy,but waited for her to leave.We had a situation with our next door neighbor who was in a long term relationship with his girlfriend,who seems very quite.One early morning, around 1am Our neighbour was having sex,but it sounded like another female,as she was making loud screaming, shouting,noises during sex.The whole street must of been woken up.The problem is she has moved into a house across the road from us:0(

Emmmm

I need to have a think about this.

Is "think" not also verb here as its the doing action ( past /future participle ?? ) word and "this" is the noun 🦧

Confused....

But the friend didn’t sneak the woman into the OP’s house. Her husband allowed it - it is just as much his home as the OP’s. There were no children in the house. If my husband was asleep when I got home from a night out I wouldn’t expect to have to wake him and ask him if it was OK for someone to stay in my own home and I wouldn’t expect him to feel he had to ask me either, whether or not I was asleep.

Think is both noun and verb depending on how you're using it.

I'd be furious too. That's your personal home, not a hotel or a sex house. Yuck.
Definitely make sure your DH changes the bedsheets himself.

Ok you did not bother to read back along the quoted posts

I honestly don’t see the problem. With no kids there, I’d be pleased by friend got his leg over and enjoy the gossip the next morning.

DH has a friend who might well do this sort of thing. DH would have said absolutely no way can you bring her home, go to her home with her if you absolutely must.

Grim, YANBU

Indeed I did. PP said she hoped men were "better" than this, implying that the men were bad in their actions (toward the woman, not toward OP which is a different point).

Other PP asked why.

You've attempted to say it's because she may accuse them of something. Which indeed may mean they have been unwise with regard to their own safety, but doesn't show why they've done wrong towards her.

It was the same for us, as didn’t pay rent.

Feeling a bit appalled for the lack of care about the woman's safety

@TiredSaturdayy and what was hubby doing while he chatted up said woman? And does this friend have a partner/wife?

Who has lacked care for her safety?

So is he expecting you and DH to be complicit in his cheating? Whatever about the mate's lack of consideration for another person's family home, I would be giving serious consideration about my DH attitude to cheating. From experience, those that turn a blind eye take opportunities that come their way too.