Husband won't 'return the favour'

[cookingaroast]

My husband and I have been together 15 years, married 10. I'm always pleasing him but feeling like my desires aren't reciprocated.

TMI - we have sex usually twice a week, I wake him up with hand jobs, I go down on him whenever he hints at it (usually once a week). I've asked a few times if he could go down on me and he always says he will, then it never happens!

We went on holiday last week and before we went, I asked if he could do it whilst we're away - a treat for me. He said that sounded great, I got myself all waxed - how we both prefer it - and was expecting it all week but no, I didn't get it. He got everything from me, and I really don't want to nag but this is getting frustrating.

I honestly think he's done it two, maybe three times in our whole relationship. Is this normal and something I should just accept? Beyond this, our sex life is good and I enjoy pleasing him. I'm not sure he's too interested in pleasing me.

A vibrator and a divorce lawyer.

I know, I agree, but OP 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Words of multi syllable - he does not like performing oral sex on his partner. If you don't like it you should not be forced to do it. End of.
She can stop oral sex on him if she wishes but apparently she enjoys doing it - which is the difference in their situation.
Sex should not be a bargaining tool.
Would you do something so intimate that you dislike?

Relationships are give and take. What is he giving?

Oh go away, no-one has said he doesn't want to give her sexual pleasure but he just doesn't do oral sex - which is definitely Marmite. You appear to think that giving sexual pleasure even if you hate what you are doing is the only thing that matters. No-one should be forced or gaslighted into doing something they DO NOT LIKE.

Women are gaslighted into doing all sorts of things they do not like to please men: e.g. being strangled, BDSM, anal sex and other kinks. Is that ok? It's not.

Everything except oral sex. Which he does not like doing. Why must he do it just because she wants it? If it were the other way round this board would be up in arms at the idea of forcing a woman to perform an act she doesn't like.

Giving oral sex is in no way equivalent to those things, all of which are potentially dangerous.

The OP has given no indication that he is willing to do anything which actually gives her sexual pleasure. Marrying someone in those circumstances is selfish.

This is the man who actually said that giving a woman an orgasm is a special treat but giving a man one is just taking care of his basic needs.

Oral sex is not equivalent but some people do not like doing it. It's Marmite. No-one should be forced - or gaslighted - into doing anything they do not enjoy, which was my point. I hammered it home because everyone on here seems to be so sex positive they do not see coercion when it is in front of their noses.

Unpleasant. She should leave him for that one - not the lack of oral sex.

Has the OP given any indication in her posts that he is actually willing to do anything which is for her pleasure rather than for his own?

It's all part of the same attitude. She never should have married him in the first place but I doubt she will do anything about it.

Sounds like he doesn't much care about 'exploring each other's bodies'. He just wants his own needs met. Selfish lovers are so unattractive.

Wtf have I just read? And you feel lucky to be with this man?