Kind but very poor boyfriend . Should I stay or go?

[Joisworried]

PLEASE be gentle. I have PTSD from my ex husband’s abuse.

I’m 46. Have been divorced 2 years, separated 5 years. I have two kids under 12. One is severely disabled, I am his main carer.

After the most traumatic divorce I’m finally free, but I’m pretty broke because of it (especially vs the life I had with my rich-but-controlling husband).
There’s no question that I did the right thing in leaving him and I continue to work all the hours I can (as I also always did while we were married) to bring in as much income as I can to support the children and me. I
now own a heavily mortgaged but tiny house and lease my car. I accept Universal Credit to top up my earnings and am extremely careful with household bills (batch cooking/deals/vouchers. Etc)

I met a lovely older man on a dating app in April 24. He is one of the most emotionally intelligent men I have ever known. He is considerate,
fun, kind, compassionate, generous and the intimacy is amazing.

However he is verging on penniless (works very hard as a labourer - but it’s all hand to mouth). He has two older kids, each from different mothers (I’m explaining for context not judgment).
But we definitely disagree on politics and parenting.

i simply cannot decide whether or not to stay or go.
We have probably the best relationship I’ve ever had. However the idea of the rest of my life with him fills me with sadness. And I don’t really know why.
Should I stay because he’s the nicest man I’ve been with?
Or should I move on in the hope that other good men actually also exist?

Am I the idiot who can’t see what they’ve got? Or should I wait to meet someone who makes me excited about the future?

Isn’t the “financial security” we’re talking about in this context basically just having an average-paid job that he can reasonably be expected to do until normal retirement age, at which point he’ll access a pension of some kind that’s at least slightly more than the state pension?

I don’t think that’s exactly asking for the moon on a stick. She’s not demanding Bezos here.

Agree the Trump / kid stuff is even more of a dealbreaker though. It’s all dealbreakers tbh.

This
You don't seem to be able to contemplate a future without a man?
Nurture yourself and your children.
If you enjoy this man's company, that is fine but you seem to be weighing him up as whether he is a lifelong partner.

I agree- she hasn’t given any indication she thinks that.

but my post was in response to comments by pps that’s she’s the gold digger.

and it’s also an observation based on the limited facts available:
Trump supporter
two kids by two different partners ( to be fair, lots of good people in that position, but I’d like to know why those relationships ended)
no savings
no home
no plan
no pension
60 years old in a physically demanding job.

he may be lovely.

But with that set of cards, meeting a caring woman with a home already is going to look like a pot of treasure.

Hi, sounds like youve had a terrible time. Some people can be really harsh on here so I just wanted you to know, I understand, I have a similar experience. Having no money and feeling sad about the future sounds like its not what you need entirely. Some of your needs are met but not others. You may feel the same way in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. PTSD makes us vulnerable and maybe after some healing you will have your answer. But handing out money is not a forever solution. Keep looking after yourself and your family, you're doing a wonderful job!