Class rep didn't include all kids names in the end of year card

[Whydiddnt]

Aibu to be mortified?

The class rep organised a whip around for the end of term teacher gift. Not everyone chipped in for various reasons however, the vast majority did.

I've just found out that the rep only listed the children whom contributed in the card, instead of writing it from the full class.

Is it just me that finds this mean and horrible? Why would anyone leave out a couple of children who's parents probably couldn't afford to chip in.

It wouldn't have taken any extra effort to address the gift from the whole class. It's not the children's fault that their parents couldn't afford it. I really hope those poor kids were none of the wiser.

They will have no idea and probably wouldn’t care one jot!!

mortified though?? Seriously?

I wouldn't be particularly bothered either way tbh. Though (as class rep this year) I addressed from all the kids and it was a personalised card with all their names on the front. 10% of parents didn't donate, and I don't think it was because they couldn't afford to. Some like to do their own thing.

Yes, I think it's completely unfair on the other kids.

Imo it's on par with having a party and inviting all but a few.

Mortified means embarrassed. Why are you embarrassed?

the ones who didn’t contribute might have done their own thing.

The teacher won't give a shit.

I don't think it's the reps responsibility to cater for the whole class. People may have wanted to do their own thing. If it's a money thing then the kids could make a card

I know what it means and I've explained why I feel that way.

Maybe the rep thought they were doing their own individual card? If they couldn’t be bothered to communicate at all about it and opted out, that’s up to them. I wouldn’t actually appreciate someone putting mine or my children’s details on something I hadn’t agreed to- more than happy to do our own thing, wouldn’t bother me in the slightest.

I was just coming say what @User79853257976 said. Our rep addressed the card/gifts from the whole class in general then parents who contributed left a personal message which the rep then put in the card. Other parents who didn’t contribute more than likely did their own thing

The children won’t know any different, and if it really is just two or three children out of a class of thirty, the teacher probably won’t even notice. She’s not going to go through the names checking off a list of parents that contributed.

Sometimes that parents that don’t contribute to the class gift give their own lovely and thoughtful gifts anyway, so I wouldn't assume that parents who haven’t contributed have only opted out because they can’t can’t afford it.

Why are you embarrassed about it? You weren’t one of the reps.

Why would you be embarrassed? Annoyed maybe.

It's just really petty. I'd think the organiser was a bit of a dick certainly. It's more effort as well. When I was the organiser I just wrote "From all of [animal name] class. I didn't bother writing all the names at all.

It’s completely standard to only put the names of those who contributed on the card.

Some people prefer to do their own card and/or present, other parents were unimpressed with the teacher or had some disagreement with them, and are deliberately not contributing.

DS attended three primary schools in two different countries, and that was the practice across them all. I knew one of the parents who didn’t contribute at DS’s final primary and I can assure you she would have been furious if someone had signed her child’s name to a card for a teacher she seemed to have had standoffs with during the year.

I'm embarrassed because I don't want to be associated with people that thinks it's okay to leave children out for various reasons.

You're right, it's petty.

If the teacher notices I think the only person it reflects badly on is the petty rep, so I wouldn’t worry about it.

I did the end of term collection this year and only 16 parents out of 30 contributed. It didn’t occur to me to include anyone who didn’t contribute. I assumed that those who didn’t were doing their own card/gift

I find this behaviour really petty too, but I’ve seen all sorts. The exhausting to-ing and fro-ing of labels for children to sign and stick in the card (and coordination of it on a WhatsApp group) does my head in. One year I organised one and because I said I’d do it from “all the children in the class” and not just the names of those who contributed, two parents wanted their contributions back.

I avoid now and get teachers a book token with a handmade card.

I think it IS the rep's job to cater for the whole class.
They are the parent representative for (name) class.
It's their job.
Which is voluntary obviously. They don't have to do it. But if they've chosen to do it but decide to only represent the parents of selected children - that is an awful way to behave.

I can’t think of anything worse than having a “class rep” amongst parents. What a load of nonsense.

Good for you?

I think this is normal? It’s like a collection at work, you sign the card if you put in

As many schools need to rely on PTA groups to raise money for classroom essentials it is a good idea to have at least one parent representative from the PTA for each class.
It can make organising fund raising events (slightly) easier.
I do think the gift thing has got out of hand though and I think it should be discouraged personally - but a card from all the class with only some of the names on is just bitchy and mean.

The card accompanies the gift. It is signed from the people giving the gift. It will be assumed that those who didn’t contribute are doing their own card and/or gift. We gave our own gift and card separately to the whip around and I would have found it strange if they had signed that card from us as well as the one we gave. Like others have said, not having the money doesn’t excuse the child from making their own card. They don’t need to spend money.

I''m a class rep. It's not nonsense. It's a mostly thankless task representing the class at PFA meetings, being responsible for organising bake sales, the school fair, Christmas fair and other fundraising that benefits the whole school.

It is often assumed that as class rep I am also responsible for the teacher gift collection but I'm not and try not to be because I hate it.

But at our school cards have always been written either with everyone's name on or just "from the whole class". I've never actually kept a list of who has contributed, just a total amount collected.

Why would you include children that hadn’t contributed on a card? They are doing their own thing or don’t want to get the teacher a gift. As a PP has said, a handmade card costs nothing if the issue is money. I would be irritated if other people hadn’t contributed and were getting credit for the gift I had paid for!