Class rep didn't include all kids names in the end of year card

[Whydiddnt]

Aibu to be mortified?

The class rep organised a whip around for the end of term teacher gift. Not everyone chipped in for various reasons however, the vast majority did.

I've just found out that the rep only listed the children whom contributed in the card, instead of writing it from the full class.

Is it just me that finds this mean and horrible? Why would anyone leave out a couple of children who's parents probably couldn't afford to chip in.

It wouldn't have taken any extra effort to address the gift from the whole class. It's not the children's fault that their parents couldn't afford it. I really hope those poor kids were none of the wiser.

I did read it. Obviously the person doing it now doesn’t meet your exacting standards. When school starts in September you should be first in line for the position for the 25/26 school year 👍

No decent teacher will judge. Those teachers that judge the parents are not worth worrying about. The teachers that judge the children don't deserve a present.

Eh?

Like I said previously, if you knew the dynamic of the small amount of children left out, you would probably understand better.

It's not okay to leave a couple of children out and individually list the rest. It's borderline bullying and petty on the adults part.

What year group?

This happened when i was teaching year 1 and I thought the woman doing it was absolute cow. She made all the children whose parents had contributed stand up so they could give me the gift. I'll never forget this little girls face whose parents had 4 kids in the school, drove across the borough around 30 minutes eacb way (twice a day) so their kids could stay in our school whilst working opposite shifts as nurses. I bet they either didn't know or forgot but that girl felt like crap and she bought me in something homemade the next day. Noone should feel like that at 5!

Anyway if the children didn't see OP then the person doing it just looks like a compete twat, not you.

I’m not sure it even registered with my son that his teacher got a card and a gift. In the last week of term precisely zero children are paying attention to Jake’s Mum handing over a gift bag to Mrs Green at pickup. There is hardly going to be a presentation ceremony!

The card and gift is from the parents, anyway. That's how ours was signed, with a message from the parents thanking her for all she had done for our children during the year.

Also laughing at the idea of the teacher pulling out a copy of the register and a red pen and cross-referencing every name in the card!

Anyone who found me writing "love from all of Monkey Class" presumptuous because they wanted to be singled out as self-excluding can sod off to be honest. It's a simple shortcut and not one I'm going to stop taking.

Itz a teacher's job to everyone needs felt but you don't want be seen as their pet just helping out

How heartbreaking for that poor little girl. This is exactly what I'm talking about.

I just hope that the gift and card was given discreetly to avoid that 'isolation' feeling for those that were left out.

It's the children i'm thinking about with my post, not the parent drama of what's and whatnots.

It was year 4 so the children are well clued up at this age.

But if a child really doesn't have access to even a piece of paper or pen it's just incredibly cruel for their name not to be on a class card.
They can't control their home environment.

So?

It doesn't have to be "one and done". You can do it again if you aren't happy with how it is being done.

Put up or shut up as the saying goes

You don't know what conversations have been had - unless you were one who didn't contribute.

When mine were little it was standardly done that every child Would be given an envelope with two coloured circles to write their name and if they wanted a little message. You then gave it back to the class rep with your contribution in, or just the circles. They'd say any contribution up to £5 or similar, which would cover the teacher and TA. The circles would all be stuck in a card.

The reps would remind, ask and even have spare circles in case of forgetting on the last couple of days.
There would always be one or two who would refuse point blank to do it, some would be very rude. It was a time consuming and thankless task.

I remember well the year where the parent who shouted at the rep for asking them if their dc would like to sign the card before school then shouted at the rep after school because their dc didn't get to be one of the ones who handed the card over ( and no it wasn't the rep's dc either, They'd asked the little boy who'd had a nasty diagnosis earlier in the year )

Grow up.

Who's saying I won't?

It's not about me or any other parent, it's about excluding a small number of children.

Why would anyone organise a class collection/gift and then exclude those that they don't deem worthy?

Petty petty petty.

I bet the rep got a proper power trip from being the boss and picking and choosing who was included.

Are you the rep by any chance? Or are you just bored and looking for some drama?

Either way, I will no longer be replying to you. Good evening.

And if their parent doesn’t want their name in it? Some disagree with end of year gifts/reps/details being included publicly/etc. Puts the rep in a v awkward position if zero communication.

I asked a Mum if she’d like to join the class Watsapp group (which I didn’t even create, but was worried about anyone being left out) so her child wouldn’t miss out on Summer holiday general meet ups, also any other parents she knew. She said no. Up to her.

In most UK schools there are 30 kids in a class - I doubt very much that as soon as the teacher gets their card and present they are scanning the names to see who contributed - they likely read the card later in the day. Most kids would not even know whether their parent had contributed or not and the teachers usually just thank the whole class.

For someone who wont be replying, that was a very long reply 😂😂

Ooh dear - you have me banged to rights missus - yep, it's me Petty Paula, the class rep! Your sleuthing skills are amazing.

Just off to see what other horrors I can think up for the end of Xmas term, my success in seeing kids crying for being left off a card needs to be topped

If you don't contribute then the gift is not from you.

One year I decided not to contribute to any collection or to give any thanks to the teacher as she was appalling. I would have been furious to have had my child name added

The one thing that is clear from this thread is that whatever the class rep does, they are in the wrong.

Depends. Class red's only duty here is pass on messages from the PTA. If they volunteer for other stuff then that's their choice. Maybe volunteer next time?

Do people volunteer to be class reps? At our school, the role belongs to those who get cornered without a good excuse ready for why they can't do it, like newborn triplets or similar?

Imo it's on par with having a party and inviting all but a few.

Genuinely don’t understand this reasoning. Everyone is invited to contribute. It’s not mandatory. It’s more akin to a leaving card at work - or - to stretch the party analogy to giving party bags only to the kids who turned up to the party and not to those who couldn’t come. I bet the class rep got fed up with chasing people for contributions that never came and thought it wasn’t fair to let one group of parents pay for everyone else. I’ve always avoided being a class rep for precisely this reason - it’s a thankless task and you’re left chasing people to join in when maybe they just don’t want to!

It was crass, but let me give you good advice that my mother gave me. She said 'You have years ahead of you when you'll have to have dealings with school and there's no point in letting anything get to you.'

To be honest I would write the card as "From all in (name) class 2024-25".
I wouldn't put individual names.

I beyond that now. My daughter is 17.
Her class at primary didn't have an official class rep as they weren't a thing when she started at the school. She was in about Year 4 or 5 when parents of the younger children decided to start it and the scheme moved up the school over the years.
It was part of the whole PTA "umbrella".
I was kind of the unofficial class rep for her class because I volunteered for a lot like reading sessions and school trips etc.
I loved helping out.
Now that class is all almost grown up I miss those little babies 😭