Class rep didn't include all kids names in the end of year card

[Whydiddnt]

Aibu to be mortified?

The class rep organised a whip around for the end of term teacher gift. Not everyone chipped in for various reasons however, the vast majority did.

I've just found out that the rep only listed the children whom contributed in the card, instead of writing it from the full class.

Is it just me that finds this mean and horrible? Why would anyone leave out a couple of children who's parents probably couldn't afford to chip in.

It wouldn't have taken any extra effort to address the gift from the whole class. It's not the children's fault that their parents couldn't afford it. I really hope those poor kids were none of the wiser.

If I’ve contributed to a card and gift it’s to thank the teacher for teaching my child - I don’t speak or contribute on behalf of anyone else.

In my experience, if there’s someone that wants to contribute but can’t afford to, they have a quiet word with the organiser and their name would be added (because the organisers aren’t usually monsters).

The audacity that some people think they should be credited with something they’ve been no part of organising or contributing to blows my mind 😂

Exactly. My child had a teacher tell them - in front of me - that their dyslexia diagnosis just meant they should work harder. I didn’t contribute to the class collection that year.

On other occasions I’ve given personal gifts and cards because they were excellent teachers that made a world of difference to my child and I wanted them to know how much we specifically appreciated them.

I was a class rep & tbh it was always the same parents - 2 or 3 - that never responded to anything whether it be volunteering for the school fayre or collections. They could have given individual presents but it was doubtful. One girl was never at any parties because her parents never rsvp'd. I was an organiser of the year 6 party & I had to write a personal letter to one of the mums because she hadn't responded to any correspondence regarding the party. No rsvp, no deposit etc. She finally did reply & her dd attended but her dd would have missed out otherwise

I don’t envy you. We didn’t have a rep but one parent organised a collection at the end of every year, we could opt in or out. She was wonderful for putting in the time and effort 😊

If people thought their name would get on a card for giving nothing then why would they bother to contribute?

Because they want to? Last time I organised the collection I was very clear that it was entirely voluntary, there was no set or minimum amount and regardless of who contributed or not the card would just be signed "from all of Animal Class". I didn't want anyone to feel any pressure.

I didn't actually check a list of who contributed but at least 20 out of 24 did. I just counted up the transactions in my account, I didn't take notice of specific names they came from.

Yeah, they very much do tend to be the busybody type, bossy, loves to get a pat on the back, loves to organise other people. Just look at the OP here, she herself was once the Queen Bee and now is incensed that another Queen Bee did things differently to her - how very dare she?! 😅

If nobody stepped up nobody would give a shit, the "role" would just dissolve into dust, which is where it emerged from a couple of decades ago, and everyone buy or not buy a teacher a card or a gift if they wanted, as they should.

@ohnotthisagain2025 I became the unofficial class rep for the sake of the CHILDREN.
I didn't give a toss what the parents thought.

YOUR SHOUTING CHILDREN is certainly very convincing 😅The kids neither need a class rep, nor care if they exist. But keep shouting WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!

The CHILDREN (😁) on the whole very much liked the Christmas/summer fairs, the trip to a theme park, the piles of new books that regularly turned up in the classrooms, the cinema trip, the theatre experiences, the cake sales, the play equipment for the playground, the end of year disco.....
If it wasn't for the school PTA most of that wouldn't have existed.
The class rep system is usually part of the PTA.
The 30 children in the class I was (unofficial) rep for....did they "need" me? Maybe. Maybe not.
I know they liked me 🥹 Bless them.
My babies..... I miss them (well I don't miss one of them because she's mine and she's still here with me 😂)

Oh just stop, fgs, it's embarrassing. I am cringing for you.

Yep, this is perfectly fair too. It is just such a nothing issue, just does not matter, at all. If I was the OP I would be so embarrassed to have posted this rubbish.

Why?
Because I decided to volunteer to help out at my daughter's primary school?
I enjoyed it. I helped raise money for the school and also did non money raising things like volunteer reading and helping on school trips.
What exactly makes that embarrassing or cringy?

This is just nonsense. It has nothing to do with bossiness, being some kind of super parent or organising class gifts. It's just volunteering for the PFA and helping fundraise for the school.

It is sometimes assumed it also means organising the class gift and I have done a couple of times but it isn't actually my responsibility and I've had others volunteer since.

It's not cringe at all. Some people have the time and motivation to help out, some genuinely dont have the time but are respectful of those who do, and some do have time but can't be bothered. It's this last group who often look down on those who do help with a misplaced sense of superiority, calling them 'queen bees' etc.

Funnily enough though, they are happy for their child to benefit from the PTA events and money. Our school PTA raises lots of money and funds lots if things the school wouldn't be able to otherwise afford.

I did this for my class. I gave every opportunity for them to contribute, we sent whatever we wanted, some £1. I said if I don’t hear from you I’ll assume you’re getting your own card. I put a lot of thought into the gifts I got and made a lovely card. Why should people who can’t be arsed responding get the credit for that? No one would know what people contributed on the system I used, and I made that very clear.

Ignoring it is quite annoying for the one collecting. You could message privately and say you’re getting your own (even if you’re not)

If less than half contribute, then it's just a group gift not a class gift so just the name of the contributors.

If the vast majority contribute all the names go in regardless

@whatcanthematterbe81 if the person organizing the collection is that easily annoyed (and I can assure you, she's not), she should maybe consider not offering to do every collection ever for an entire class all the way through primary school.

Her system is simple - she puts her bank details and PayPal on the group chat and tells people to put their child's full name as the reference by x date. She then does a reminder a couple of days before the deadline and then messages the group chat to say she's bought x, y and z. Not sure what me privately or publicly messaging her to say "I'm alright thanks Maureen, I thought the teacher was a bitch this year" would add to the process.

Ah ok, you’re one of those. You’re right, why should you need to communicate

😂🤣😂🤣

Honestly we did a whole class gift a few times one person floated the idea of "just" those whose parents paid on the card it was shut down fast the card read from all the class and the children signed the card

You never leave a child out doesn't matter if the parent does there own thing class gift is a gift from the CLASS

Fundraising for the school and organising events admirable and logical. PTAs are their own entity and function for the school.

That is a totally different kettle of fish to assigning yourself as link between the school, “helping” other parents who can’t remember what day it is, organising collections for the teacher.

They’re two distinct things.

And to the person who equated it with not replying to other parents’ party invites- that is completely unrelated and is rude. That’s nothing to do with the school 😂

This is the same as our system. It’s simple for all parents (except some much appreciated effort from the present buyer - though the faff is kept to a minimum). Then the card simply says ‘from all children in oak class’. There. Done. Literally takes one WhatsApp and no singling children out. Who has the time for multiple messages and faff?