Class rep didn't include all kids names in the end of year card

[Whydiddnt]

Aibu to be mortified?

The class rep organised a whip around for the end of term teacher gift. Not everyone chipped in for various reasons however, the vast majority did.

I've just found out that the rep only listed the children whom contributed in the card, instead of writing it from the full class.

Is it just me that finds this mean and horrible? Why would anyone leave out a couple of children who's parents probably couldn't afford to chip in.

It wouldn't have taken any extra effort to address the gift from the whole class. It's not the children's fault that their parents couldn't afford it. I really hope those poor kids were none of the wiser.

@SENNeeds2

"you literally say "Not everyone chipped in for various reasons" ....and then later jumped to "It's not the children's fault that their parents couldn't afford it."

Yes I did 'literally' say that. Both statements are true. I'm not sure why you're making out that what I wrote was contradictive when they mean exactly the same thing?

*deleted duplicate post.

As a teacher I think I'd figure that out and think the person who organised it was mean! Not pleasant behaviour. So at least it won't reflect badly on the children whose names aren't included.

To any class reps reading this - please include all the names. I couldn't give a shite who put money towards a present. That would actually be a lovely momento because you do forget some names over the years unfortunately.

The dynamics being that some people didn’t contribute but still want the credit for it?

Credit?

When I was class rep, I addressed it from the whole class, but really people who feel strongly about this sort of thing should step up and be class rep themselves. I only did it because no one else had volunteered and things were getting awkward - it was a complete PITA and for various reasons (parents not paying etc.) I ended up substantially out of pocket on various things and just sucked it up (luckily could afford it).

If anyone had had the temerity to criticise my actions as class rep, I would have tendered my "resignation" 😂. I did it my bloody way because otherwise it wouldn't have been done at all!

Credit for what?

Like pp have said, it's not the children that chip in, it's the adults.

I'm sure if the children had a choice they wouldn't choose to be left out.

I don’t see why other parents have to subsidise others who can’t be arsed to contribute. I find it hard to believe that people don’t have a bit of paper and a pen that a child could make a card with. Doesn’t even have to be felt tips, just a biro would do the job and be thoughtful

As class rep, I ended up paying for various things for children whose families earn multiple of our household income. I didn't mind, I couldn't leave the kids out, but I'm not going to pretend it didn't smart a bit.

I agree Op. It was mean and petty.

If I was a teacher I would be upset I didn’t have all the kids in my classes names on my card and annoyed at rep for excluding some.

It’s not what I’d have done but it’s not on a par with not inviting all kids to a party because the kids won’t know/care.

I have previously organised a whip around for when the last teacher was retiring due to poor health (I'm not a class rep)

I addressed the card from everyone because it's just weird to pick and choose CHILDREN, based on what their parents want to/can afford to chip in.

Do people genuinely care about things like that?

I think that's a good point too. As a teacher I would rather have the names of all of the kids in my class on a card, not the names of the kids in my class whose parents could be bothered/afford to contribute to the gift.

You obviously don't live in the real world if you don't have the capacity to understand why some people can't do this.

Lucky you for having no life experience that can relate to this.

I can only hope that they don't know/care.

Kids talk and it could potentially have been left on display in the classroom for them to see.

Most have a piece of paper and 1 biro or pencil though. My DH is a teacher at an extremely disadvantaged school (many children who use food banks, some who’ve lost their home, taken into care, parental bereavement and drug abuse, etc) but yesterday he brought home lots of very simple homemade cards (literally a bit of paper folded, drawn and written by the child often in a single pen, no help from a parent) but my goodness there were some heartfelt, personal messages in the child’s own words, which my DH was delighted with.

Honestly we did a whole class gift a few times one person floated the idea of "just" those whose parents paid on the card it was shut down fast the card read from all the class and the children signed the card

You never leave a child out doesn't matter if the parent does there own thing class gift is a gift from the CLASS

As an aside, I am astonished at the number of people who feel they can vindicate themselves in a poor teacher/parent relationship through the act of not signing a card on purpose.
That's probably the funniest thing I've heard all week!

I’m a teacher. Like a pp, I wouldn’t want my name on something I hadn’t contributed to. I organised my children’s class collections for years. There were some families who never contributed and had way more money than me. Why should I include their name ?
If I knew of a family that didn’t contribute due to finances, that would be different.
I got a collection from my class this year. There were names listed but not the whole class. I had a bit who I know gets very little support at home. He made a card in school time with a message. He struggled with writing too so that meant more to me than anything because I know how hard it was for him.

You’re ignoring the posts from parents saying they haven’t wanted to be included for a variety of reasons. They’ve chosen not to contribute and therefore don’t want their child named/included under the class name.

Why don’t you think their wishes matter?

And without someone organising a class gift and card you wouldn’t get one, calling the person mean is more than a bit shitty.

I disagree that it’s a class gift. It’s a gift from children in the class. That’s different. It’s a group of parents doing a joint gift to avoid multiple boxes of chocs and bottles of wine.

Yes. That is spiteful. When I was a class rep, I included the names.of all children..I think what she has done incredibly mean-spirited.

Being a teacher you should know it's not about the parents that can't/ won't contribute. It's about the children that don't have a choice in the matter and them being excluded due to their parents choices.

You should know from experience in your career how a child feels when being left out and how that can impact them.

We'd notice, and we'd be judging the one who wrote it, not the ones who didn't contribute