Class rep didn't include all kids names in the end of year card

[Whydiddnt]

Aibu to be mortified?

The class rep organised a whip around for the end of term teacher gift. Not everyone chipped in for various reasons however, the vast majority did.

I've just found out that the rep only listed the children whom contributed in the card, instead of writing it from the full class.

Is it just me that finds this mean and horrible? Why would anyone leave out a couple of children who's parents probably couldn't afford to chip in.

It wouldn't have taken any extra effort to address the gift from the whole class. It's not the children's fault that their parents couldn't afford it. I really hope those poor kids were none of the wiser.

Some families don't have craft things at home so children can make their own card.

@OhMyChickenDinner see what I said above.
A home made card is only possible if parents can afford to have paper/card and pens etc at home.
Some can't.

"Mortified" also means to feel shame or humiliation. The obsession with nitpicking at the meaning of words an OP uses on threads to undermine them is tedious. I won't bother discussing the Latin. (I'll leave further discussion to someone else who will miss my point and criticise me for criticising someone else's interpretation of a word, missing the point that there isn't one meaning, and that's what i was highlighting.) OP, this is really unkind of the class rep. And also causes them more work surely?! I hope those kids don't notice.

Yes, to feel shame or humiliation. I.e to be really embarrassed. Nobody claimed that isn't what it means. But lots of people think it means angry. OP's use of it only really made sense if she had mistakenly used to mean angry. She says she didn't and is actually mortified.

As someone who has multiple children at school, and usually ends up doing at least 2 class collections, I’m with your class rep. It boils my piss when people ignore the multiple reminders to chip in - even worse when they say “oh I will transfer later” they never do: it is ALWAYS the same people. I could write a list for each of my classes of who won’t contribute and I’d be 100% correct. Every single time I swear it’ll be my last time. You can’t be arsed to chip in a couple of quid? You don’t get to go on the card. In my area, it is 100% not a case of not being able to afford it. We have 2 pupils on pupil premium out of 630 children.

as for the kids, they don’t know a thing about it. No teacher is going down their class list and making a list of who didn’t contribute, they simply don’t care.

Who cares? Really, OP. It will be forgotten in a week.

You can’t be arsed to chip in a couple of quid? You don’t get to go on the card
I hate doing it too. But in my case I can't be arsed checking who has contributed or not. I don't care. So I'll always take the laziest and easiest option of just saying from the class. If anyone objects to that and wants an actual list of names and for that list to be checked against my bank account they can do it themselves.

I am a teacher and I also do the collections for my kids' teachers. Usually on the card it's the names of the people who contributed, both when I am organising and when I receive. I wouldn't want to write a child's name on a card without their parents permission, what if they didn't want it there, it's not up to me decide that for someone? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I once didn't pay in to a class collection because I was seriously pissed at the teacher and didn't feel I wanted to thank them.

If the person organising the collection had gone ahead and put our name in the card anyway I'd have been annoyed as fuck, they'd have been stopping me sending the message I wanted to send. I wanted the teacher to notice that name missing in the card and reflect on why that might be!

We don’t have a designated class rep. We seem to get on fine.

ive only read about them on mumsnet, and they always seem to on some type of power trip

Very petty and unnecessary. I did the gift a few times and without fail from whole class.

Because the card was to thank the teacher for teaching the whole class. Not just whoever chipped in for the gift.

If I were class rep I’d get a card, write “thanks very much etc from Year X”

Our rep busts a gut trying to get a handwritten sticker from everyone who contributes and it’s such a faff!!

Next year you should offer to do the collection, choose, buy and wrap the gifts, write the cards and then you get to decide how it’s done.

As a lot of people have said, it’s completely normal. The card accompanies the gift and says who it’s from. Anyone not opting to take part can do their own thing or not, up to them.

They could have addressed it from 'class name' not individual names.

It's petty leaving a few out and listing the rest.

You’re over thinking this OP! The teacher will not give a jot whose names are in the card, the children whose names are not in the card won’t know as the card is now in the teacher’s possession and teachers don’t decide to choose teaching as a career for the gifts some parents buy them at the end of the year!

No it’s not - it’s honest.

A woman does this in my nephews class every year. My nephew is in a very low income family and it just isnt something on their rader. Eating and heating rather than contributing the £20 to buy vouchers for teacher and TA’s. What annoys me more is how this woman goes on about how much time it took het to write all the individual names on the three différent cards. Every. Fucking. Year.

Petty. Petty. Petty.

I guess we're all entitled to our own opinion 🤷

I overthought this myself as a Reception rep. We had one very observant JW child and about a third of the class were Muslim and we were giving alcohol. We therefore decided to put individual names on as I felt a bit weird attributing Christmas wishes to people who may not want to make Christmas wishes (not that it was only the Muslim and JW parents who didn’t contribute, and indeed many of the Muslim parents did, it’s just we didn’t want to second guess those who didn’t)
By summer we were over it and and just put from everyone in Rainbow class and then just did that for the rest of primary
But it may not have been poorly intentioned/to leave kids out. Most reps are people pleasers who want to to help.

I wonder if I feel it's petty because I personally know the people involved and those that were left out.

I wonder if you knew the dynamics, you would feel similar to me (or not)

No. It is absolutely petty. NONE of the children contributed as children dont have jobs. Parents contributed. And if grown adults dont want the names of CHILDREN on cards, they need to get a grip.

you literally say "Not everyone chipped in for various reasons" ....and then later jumped to "It's not the children's fault that their parents couldn't afford it."

These are two different things. I have once not contributed to a card because teacher was a right twat - another time not contributed because teacher was so lovely we bought her special gift.

But I was often class rep and people would contribute anything to £2 to £20 ... vast differences in money - I do think its only fair people who contribute are on the card or what's the point. Nothing wrong with kids giving cards separately - I don't think teachers care that some kids don't contribute - I think teachers understand not everyone can afford to.

I agree OP.
The parent who organised it for our class this year kept a tab on WhatsApp over who had donated and who hadn't. Awful behaviour and then they only signed the card from those who had donated.
Last year I organised and just put from the whole class, not everyone has money to spare to send to the collection. I found it very mean spirited the way it was done this year. The kids won't know there name was missed but the parents did

But the parents are the ones contributing to the gift not the children. The children don't have any agency in whether the parent chooses to contribute or not. It just seems mean to leave a kid off because they didn't contribute. It's different if we're talking about adults.