Am I being unreasonable asking my husband to not go away for 2 weeks after just having a baby?

[Watters01]

My DH is a practicing catholic and, around 18 months ago, was asked if he wanted to go on a pilgrimage to Lourdes. I didn’t want to be the bad guy for saying no so I thought what the hey, it’s only 2 weeks, I can handle 3 kids on my own. Fast forward a few months and we found out I was unexpectedly pregnant with our 4th child. I casually mentioned about probably not going on the trip now, as we would have a newborn and it’s a lot to put on me, but he kind of brushed it to one side and said about maybe not doing it. This carried on going like this up until I gave birth with me getting more irate and cross.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, he eventually refused to cancel the trip so in about 2 weeks time I am going to be left on my own for 2 weeks with a newborn, 3yr old, 7yr old and 10yr old. All our family work full time so are unable to help me and to top it off it’s the summer holidays so there’s just no break!
AIBU for being really upset about the whole thing? I appreciate it’s a religious pilgrimage but I feel really resentful and quite. disrespected about the whole thing.

A 2 week old just sleeps, in saying that mum will be exhausted so if he's going to go it woukd be good if some family or friends can come and help out

So basically other than a short religious time the rest is a holiday for him. Well no matter what Bible he picks up they all say about family and how he should act and it's not being done here as head of his household. If it was 2-3 days I probably wouldn't have had a problem with it having 4 myself between 3-5 however we also have a great extended nearby family should I need a little help. Recently had 3 weeks alone due to his mum dying of cancer and I was happy for him to be with her that time, he did same for me when my adored grandad passed earlier in year so ye some circumstances a partner needs time for something important and others like a holiday alone I wouldn't be happy about at all.

Do they now. Are you imagining I’ve never met a real baby?

if I ever to act like a single parent, my first action will be to divorce my husband. That would apply here.

I like the telling the church idea and calling the priest, as well as tell him god would turn his back on a man who acted like him.

He doesn’t need two weeks.
But you also can deal with 4 kids for a couple of weeks.
God would expect him to prioritise his wife and children at this time, I have no doubt about this. Is it because of the money?

Two weeks?? Is he walking there?

Mine did? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Only two weeks? That's a really long time for OP to cope on her own with four children, including a brand new baby. He is being really unreasonable and uncaring. OP and his children should be his first priority.

Oh no, much better to let his own wife and family down then…

The other three seem like the hard bit and OP was fine with that and DH going away, so to me the newborn is the easy part in that whole scenario @99bottlesofkombucha I feel a 7yo and 10 yo are also quite self sufficient and should be able to keep 3yo entertained. Would be harder if there was only a 3yo

She said on the very first post that she didn’t have anyone to help out, and no not all newborns sleep all day.

Why wasn't this discussed before. 2 weeks before the event surely he not got his money back. It should have been cancelled the amount you found out you were pregnant. Yanbu but it's very late now to sort out.

He’s being an unreasonable arse as it’s out of choice.

However you’ll be fine and the kids will probably bond even better with having to help more. My DH went away for work when no4 was 10days old and actually the others were better than they’ve ever been with each other. (They’d have been 7, 4 & 2)

Yeah right - very Christian of him and not selfish at all 🙄🙄🙄

@NeedZzzzzssss ahh that's ok then - because your baby slept for the first 2 weeks that means every other baby in the world will be the same.....

Erm - no. Strangely enough, all babies are different, a bit like the posters on this thread. Some sensible, and some idiotic comments.

Agreed. (Anyway, it's a dreadful place, full of commercialised tat.)

You’re not very bright you are you?

Definitely agree. Lourdes is one of the most upsetting places I have ever visited.

Students dressed as "doctors and nurses" leading people into an underground chamber with a merry-go-round of pick 'n mix "services" and blessings.

I was expecting to find it a very soothing and spiritual place but it was just horrific. Two hours is enough - never mind 2 weeks.

Everyone has said it about him but my thoughts are, how disappointing he's happy to miss the first two weeks of his child's life.

He’s so religious and ‘good’ that he thinks nothing of ditching his newly-delivered wife with a newborn and three children, for his own selfish bullshit ‘pilgrimage’?

What an unbelievable prick he is. I hate organised religion.

Yes. And this. Just astonishing.

She asked him to cancel as soon as she got pregnant. And continued asking throughout her pregnancy.

As outlined in the OP.

Another one who didn’t read the OP properly.

No one goes to Lourdes for 2 weeks. This is a jolly holiday with a visit to Lourdes in it. Ask him to pray about what support Jesus would have wanted for his mother Mary when he was born.

This 💯
You say he’s a practising Catholic
Ask him what would Our Lady think !
Or Jesus.
Abandoning his family when they need him.
I’ve not heard of 2 week pilgrimages to Lourdes.