Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

[ButtSurgery]

So far today:

Sent him to Lidl with a small shopping list. Phoned to ask whether cottage cheese is the same thing as sour cream and if not, where is it in the shop.

Phoned again to ask how big is 2 pints of milk and is that different from 2 litres of milk.

Phoned later from the local garage to ask if I wanted a new tyre on the car as it has a nail through it and a slow puncture. He is at the garage for an appointment to get the front tyres checked and replaced if needed anyway as they were around the legal minimum.

Phoned again to tell me his work have bounced his expenses because he needs to send them to another email address. What is the email address he needs to contact? (note we work for wholly unrelated employers).

What time is the dog walker coming? Does he need to be here to hand her over or does the dog walker come in with a key and pick her up? (note we have had the walker for months and he knows the drill is to hand the dog over!)

What time am I finishing work? SAME TIME I FINISHED EVERY BLOODY DAY.

Oh there's more but they are the stand out ones. He needs to fuck off back to sea.

🤣🤣

We both WFH some days, he works upstairs annd I work downstairs. DH’s favorite question to me when he pops down for a snack is “ What are you doing?”

Um, I’m on my laptop so I’ll give you one big guess…I’m working. Just as you are when you’re on your laptop upstairs. 🤣

Well if he's always been away at sea, and you have just taken on 99.9% of the domestic chores without communication, then I completely understand why he's asking these questions.

Just occasionally, when I've had enough of saying 'what did I say last time you asked', I tell my (lovely) DH to use his own brain, not mine.

To be fair, the stupid questions he asks are usually stupid because he has already asked me the same thing, sometimes more than once. For things like appointments I make him put them in his phone diary, my appointments as well as his own, and I do that in mind as well, so if he asks when something is happening I just tell him to look in his diary.

I know this is meant to be light-hearted but this is grim. Embarrassing for him and I just wouldn't tolerate sharing my life with someone so incapable of simple tasks, what a waste.

I have one of these. Didn't used to be like this but my god I don't know how we cope

Tbf I’ve searched for my glasses whilst wearing them and tried to put another pair on top.
Otherwise im usually on the ball.

I got sick of it I’m not his secretary!!! I started a couple of years ago saying “I don’t know have you checked xyz?” For everything even if I knew. Eventually he stopped asking. He still sneaks it in in other ways but on the whole has learnt to answer his own questions.

Yes, tell him to remember the following rhyme:

A litre of water's a pint and three quarters.

Did you actually read the OP? Being away at sea wouldn't excuse any of the idiotic questions he asked or his incompetence over his pay emails. Being away at sea does not explain why he doesn't know that 2 litres and two pints aren't the same thing. Most children know that. And wrt his question about the dog walker - the OP says he was already aware of the arrangements. He's clearly either just an idiot or he's pretending to be one. I'm not sure which is worse.

I can't imagine any neurodiverse person asking these questions, or how neurodivergence could be relevant to these types of questions.

Massive ick.

. sorry wrong thread..
I laughed my head off at asking you if two pints was the same as two litres. Is he pre decimalisation?

I've been called a fucking cow by mine . How do you fancy a swap ?

OMG my DH is like this! Just because I book and organise the holidays he thinks I know absolutely everything.

Mine never pays attention to his surroundings either or what the hotel looks like. Last year he didn’t even know what resort we were in.

It is exhausting (& frustrating) tbh.

In my opinion, it’s pure laziness. They can’t be bothered to use their own brain.

Yep - why do you answer the phone OP?!

Lighthearted? He sounds as thick as shit.

Um both are not ok! There are men who can do shopping by themselves and who also don’t call you a fucking cow! Raise the bar!!!

babe do you know where my ‘x’ is?

Insert anything & everything he’s wearing/used/needed today.

After 25 years in the navy has he become institutionalized?

That is, he carries out his work duties competently but can no longer function independently outside of a structured environment where others are responsible for sorting the mundane stuff which we all have to deal with as adults.

😮 Oh my god. How ludicrous.

After me reading this thread and posting on here about my weaponised incompetence friend, almost like some kind of script, he's just text me and asked me which is the nearest airport to our town. 🙈. I asked him if Google has crashed and he's said 'yep'. So I've replied 'good to know.'

You are being unreasonable to call this level of head fuckery light hearted. He is sapping you and it isn't loving or kind.

Don’t be so uptight! It’s funny. Men like this are actually quite often highly, highly intelligent in other areas. Some of the men who were seemingly the most lacking in common sense I’ve ever come across, have been high achievers in their work life. I knew a Professor of Engineering once who didn’t even know that America was in a different time zone e to the UK, let alone has several time zones within it. An Airline Captain who couldn’t operate an iPhone, a Doctor who didn’t know what Algebra was, another who didn’t know that Australia’s seasons are the opposite to ours and why…. I could go on but you get the picture.

What parcel?
I ordered something online that is for an important birthday, I showed him, told him when it's arriving, which day, time, who's bringing it.
I said just now, I wonder where my parcel is. He replied, What parcel?