Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

[ButtSurgery]

So far today:

Sent him to Lidl with a small shopping list. Phoned to ask whether cottage cheese is the same thing as sour cream and if not, where is it in the shop.

Phoned again to ask how big is 2 pints of milk and is that different from 2 litres of milk.

Phoned later from the local garage to ask if I wanted a new tyre on the car as it has a nail through it and a slow puncture. He is at the garage for an appointment to get the front tyres checked and replaced if needed anyway as they were around the legal minimum.

Phoned again to tell me his work have bounced his expenses because he needs to send them to another email address. What is the email address he needs to contact? (note we work for wholly unrelated employers).

What time is the dog walker coming? Does he need to be here to hand her over or does the dog walker come in with a key and pick her up? (note we have had the walker for months and he knows the drill is to hand the dog over!)

What time am I finishing work? SAME TIME I FINISHED EVERY BLOODY DAY.

Oh there's more but they are the stand out ones. He needs to fuck off back to sea.

my DH writes out a shopping list and then rings me at the shop to ask what it says as he cannot read his writing! Do I look fucking psychic?🙄

My husband pulls this shit. I’ve just started replying ‘I dunno’ or ‘check the email’ and the stupid questions have mostly stopped.

@ButtSurgery I really fear for my dh sometimes! how the hell will he cope when I am not around? he phoned me up one day to ask where the electric meter was because the man was here to read it. he walks past it at least twice a day, usually a lot more. It is at the back door. we have only lived in the house for 30years!!! keep trying to show him how to empty the dryer water collector tank. where to put the detergent into the washer. how to work the washer. the list goes on and on and on.......... it looks like they are all the same!!

or even 16 and still wet behind the ears!!

Yabu to say lighthearted id get the RAGE. My dh calls me every time he's at a supermarket even dc started to comment on this!!

As sabrina carpenter said... stupid...or is it...slow...man-child...

Are these clothes dry? (Whilst standing next to the drying rack). Let me stop what I'm doing, get up and walk over and feel the clothes and tell you whether they are or not. fucking hell

I don't know
I can't remember
Have you checked the calendar?
Did you check the email/WhatsApp?
I'm not your Google
Please stop using my brain space instead of your own

My family drives me mad with this. All of the above work well.

My answer to most questions these days is "have you looked in the garage?" Get far fewer as a result.

Yeah, the weaponised incompetence wouldn't be making me feel anything light-hearted!

And for the PP who said about how they manage if they didn't have a wife to look after them - firstly, they are totally capable of managing all this themselves, they just prefer not to and, secondly, they usually find a swift replacement to look after them and their man-baby ways.

Yes, this gives me rage, as you can probably tell 😅

Mine is similar. If I ever ask him to get a couple of things from the shop, he ALWAYS phones me to ask a question about the items. I even tell him whereabouts they are in the shop to make it easier! He is the same with bins - every single week he asks which ones are to go out, even though I resorted to putting it in his calendar so he didn't have to ask. He always seems surprised that the food bin goes out every week, and pleads 'I didn't know' when I tell him that! Aaargh!

Dh popped his head round the door but I was in a meeting so when I checked what he wanted it was to ask me if I wanted the washing hung out. Well yes obviously if the machine has finished.

I don't see how anyone could find such pathetic refusal to function attractive. Dumping the drudgery on the human domestic appliance (woman) is an act of contempt.

Such men should be left single, What's the point of them?

😆😆😆
Also, your username 😂🩷

Christ, mine does this too. He can't tell apparently 🙄

Fucking hell with the kind of men you read about on here I'm surprised one was willing to hang out the washing 🤣

I know you're framing this as light hearted. But honestly this isn't funny. If your H genuinely needed to ask you those questions, then in your shoes I'd be worrying about his cognitive abilities. If he is fine and well, then he's either bone idle, pretending to be incompetent as a passive aggressive gesture, or is unhealthily dependent on you.

None of these are things to be brushed off with an eye roll and 'Men, what are they like?' attitude, unless you think it will be amusing to have to oversee and caretake him for the rest of your life. Which if you're ever struggling to balance your job, your own health, care for others, it really won't be.

Yes, he usually is this irritating.
Yes, it's deeply deeply unattractive.
No, it wasn't always this bad.

I don't know if he does it at work. He recently retired from the Navy after 25 years, leaving as a PO - so a reasonable decision making and managerial level. They even gave him firearms and put him in charge of others with firearms FFS. I did ask why no one had asked me for my opinion on the risks of this decision.

He has a new job at sea, but no ship at present so is driving me batty at home. I WFH full time and have done for years. He is very bored.

He should see a doctor then. Losing sensation in his fingers to the point he can't tell if something is wet or dry is worrying.
Not being able to function to perform basic tasks in a supermarket that an actual toddler can do would also warrant medical investigation.

Or is he just a bog standard slovenly misogynist?

I know you say this is light hearted but this would drive me mad. It’s like having a bloody child.

Highly clean and tidy functioning human actually. Very much 50/50 in terms of the home, cleaning etc. No pink or blue jobs in this house, we both just do whatever needs done. Except tipping anything mouldy out - I get him to do that. But I open my own jars.

Ok. Didn't sound like he functions equally from your other posts on your thread.

I agree. I love a good chuckle, but none of this is funny.

The man is either thick, getting dementia, needy or all 3. He's most definitely very annoying. Imagine what he'll be like when he retires 🫨

@Devilsmommy to be fair to him he is normally very lovely and helpful, he more than does his share, I was just a bit annoyed that he thought he needed to ask as it would not have crossed my mind to ask him!!!

I'm going to have to disagree with you here. My DH was a builder for 30 years and his hands are so rough that he can't always feel differences that you or I would. Obviously that's just one example but I'm sure there are others🤷

How does he tell if fabric is wet or dry? Leave it for a woman, or has he figured out some other way?