Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

[ButtSurgery]

So far today:

Sent him to Lidl with a small shopping list. Phoned to ask whether cottage cheese is the same thing as sour cream and if not, where is it in the shop.

Phoned again to ask how big is 2 pints of milk and is that different from 2 litres of milk.

Phoned later from the local garage to ask if I wanted a new tyre on the car as it has a nail through it and a slow puncture. He is at the garage for an appointment to get the front tyres checked and replaced if needed anyway as they were around the legal minimum.

Phoned again to tell me his work have bounced his expenses because he needs to send them to another email address. What is the email address he needs to contact? (note we work for wholly unrelated employers).

What time is the dog walker coming? Does he need to be here to hand her over or does the dog walker come in with a key and pick her up? (note we have had the walker for months and he knows the drill is to hand the dog over!)

What time am I finishing work? SAME TIME I FINISHED EVERY BLOODY DAY.

Oh there's more but they are the stand out ones. He needs to fuck off back to sea.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I've had the kids for three days on my own. My wife has been on holiday with her friend. Now i thought i had it nailed frankly...

I've just been on our village facebook page, and someone with a knackered fridge has posted asking if there are any scrap men available. My wife, comedian that she is, has posted my photo with "may need some attention, free to a good home".

I feel the pain!
Mine asked one morning when I took him a morning cuppa, if I'd been out early for a run. Unusual in itself, but I was stood there in my pj's & specs...🤣

Oh, and to add - this was because he got up "late" (7am) and hadn't had his breakfast or a shave then his phone "pinged".

It all goes back to an outpatients appt from MARCH which was a follow up to a "heart attack" (yeah, they kept him on a trolley for 72hrs, and he has a vast cardiology history) or more likely "angina attack" 15 MONTHS earlier.
The hosp gave him 30 days tablets - the GPs have just had a copy.

At the bottom of the letter=>

New referrals will be seen within 15 months.
Follow up appointments within 24 months.

Would she accept a trade-in? 😁

I've got that Sabrina Carpenter tune as an earworm after reading this thread🤣.
"Manchild why do you always come a running to me.......".

Good for you! Last time my dh tried it I returned the favour. A message every minute or two -should I cook or x or y for dinner, do you want a or b with it, should I roast or steam the veg, what time should I cook for, how long should I cook y for, do you want pudding, what should I make, do we have milk?. He got the hint pretty quickly which is miraculous in itself 😂

I do this one sorry!

And it's because, as far as I'm concerned, these clothes are dry. However, if I bring them in, then there is a probably 20% chance DP will go "Why have you brought these in, they're not dry.

I cannot help this. To me the clothes feel as dry now as they will in another hour at which point DP will be happy with them. I physically cannot tell the difference.

So my actual question is "This level of dryness is acceptable to me, is it acceptable to you", but if I say that apparently I'm just being a twat.

My first reaction. My GOD, I'm glad I'm single.

Surely he can use his wrist or forearm if it's really hard to tell.

MN BINGO!

What does your husband bring to your marriage OP?

Where was the butter at lunchtime ?
In the same place in the fridge as it always is.
I’ve been out at work all day !
Normally he’s ok at managing house stuff .

At the risk of sounding all cat's bum face, I don't think this thread is funny. Why are they such incompetent man-children, and if they are this pathetic at work, then we know for absolute sure that sexism in the workplace is far far worse then we thought. I.e. how do they get and keep jobs when they have to ask women such things?

Why are husbands still expecting their wives to iron their shirts?

I've a friend like this. He text asking if I had any spare tin foil when he lives next to two supermarkets and a londis type shop. He would have had to walk a mile to get to mine to avoid buying his own tin foil. I said no, as truthfully mine had run out, but I wouldn't have let him anyway, as the mental load is enough as it is. He stopped all the questions for a while and I relaxed my walls but has started again lately so he's being ignored now.

It's 100 percent weaponised incompetence and a form of control. If they were really that incapable the rest of the time, they would be in some form of supported accomodation.

But can't blame gender as my mum is also like this. I don't spend any time with her indoors any more. Even in her own home she will ask me questions every few seconds when cooking her own food in her own home about timings etc. Yet manages to eat. It's an utter refusal to be giving to others and make sure she always takes up space. Mansplaining at ita finest, it needs a new name though as women can do this as well.

Yeah it's not cute in their part at all.

This @ButtSurgery I’m laughing at ‘has to eat it’

I love threads like these because when I get whimsical and think it would be lovely to be in a relationship again, I read these posts and say to self "For the love of God woman, snap out of it!"

That's brilliant 😂

Haven’t read all the posts but much of this doesn’t surprise me when you say he’s recently retired after being in the Navy 25 years- he’ll be totally institutionalised, used to having his food cooked for him, not thinking about management of domestic things, with people taking care of repairs, very fixed routines etc etc.

alt take…

dows he just wanna chat with you?

My husband called me to ask if the Robo Hoover would automatically do the stairs and then all of upstairs or if he should take it up.

I heard a nurse gently losing her rag about men the other day. She said that a lot of men have become so wrapped up in their own self-importance that they have forgotten entirely how to think at all. When are the kids birthdays? What about his mother? What food does the dog eat? Which vet does it go to? When is it due for shots? Are the kids due for vaccinations? What are we getting Cindysuelou from Mikeey’s class for her birthday? What meals can I cook for the week that cater for my darling family’s likes and dislikes when I’d really much rather sit down and have a glass of wine and my own damn charcuterie board……
Some men are so disconnected they need their wives to tell them to take their tablets… You ask them what the tablets are and they draw a blank. You ask them what they’re for…… Nothing. You ask them what their health problem is….. Just have to ask the wife. Utterly infantilised. She said that they get through life with exactly two decisions…. Do they like something or not? If they like it, they move towards it. If they don’t, they hop away from it like Frogger.

I do sometimes wonder how we coped without mobile phones, but these men take it to stratospheric levels.