Things my husband asked me today (light hearted)

[ButtSurgery]

So far today:

Sent him to Lidl with a small shopping list. Phoned to ask whether cottage cheese is the same thing as sour cream and if not, where is it in the shop.

Phoned again to ask how big is 2 pints of milk and is that different from 2 litres of milk.

Phoned later from the local garage to ask if I wanted a new tyre on the car as it has a nail through it and a slow puncture. He is at the garage for an appointment to get the front tyres checked and replaced if needed anyway as they were around the legal minimum.

Phoned again to tell me his work have bounced his expenses because he needs to send them to another email address. What is the email address he needs to contact? (note we work for wholly unrelated employers).

What time is the dog walker coming? Does he need to be here to hand her over or does the dog walker come in with a key and pick her up? (note we have had the walker for months and he knows the drill is to hand the dog over!)

What time am I finishing work? SAME TIME I FINISHED EVERY BLOODY DAY.

Oh there's more but they are the stand out ones. He needs to fuck off back to sea.

My husband drives me mad with the questions. Where is? Do we have? I get so fed up of being the oracle. My teen son does it too but not my teen daughter. It is absolutely laziness. I will only answer if the question is phrased in a way that doesn't put the onus on me to know the answer. So "have you seen.." not "where's my.."
It's funny on MN cos I always read " do you think they behave this incompetently at work?" as though they must not, but the men I work with are also completely hopeless 😔
Lately, when my husband hasn't done a job he was supposed to do, I ask him how did it go at the XYZ rather than reminding him to do it as I think it works better to pretend I think he's done it and is competent. It's also more fun. I realise I don't sound very nice saying all this but I'm peri and kind of done with men and their dumb shit

Oooo I had this. Although they actually had his number, called him on the day time, he was obviously at work and unable to answer, so they messaged me, to which I responded to his number because I don't know the ins and outs of his meeting times etc (no idea why they didn't just message him with options). The next day (and 2 days after) they called me, I said I'd given them his number and why are they calling me? I am as unable to get through to him during the day time too and I'm NOT about to become his personal secretary. Right. Glad that's off my chest, obviously been holding on to pent up rage at the dentist down the road. 😂

I'm curious to know if they harassed the husbands of women they couldn't get through to book an appointment through them.

My husband doesn't tend to ask ridiculous questions though (yet? Is it likely to get worse with age?), but does misplace paperwork a lot (because apparently shoving ol it into drawers constitutes a filing system). Again, not my circus or monkeys!

My favourite one today was him calling me FIVE TIMES to ask where the dried cranberries were in Morrisons

I think there's a good case to be made for banning mobiles in supermarkets. it's not only men who stand there asking gormless questions and with the advent of the chillers with doors it can be impossible to get what one wants if an idiot is seeking advice from someone on the phone. We managed for many years without being able top get our instructions as we walk round, maybe we need to go back to them.

Mine tried this weagonized incompetence/helplessness for a bit when we first met. It just didn’t work. I made it very clear that he had lived independently between moving away from his mummy and in with me and I wasn’t going to become his default brain. When he was shirty that I didn’t remind him of his mother’s birthday, I asked him when my mother’s was. Obviously he couldn’t answer that one. I explained that we were supposed to be equal partners and adults and barring an actual diagnosis of some form of dementia, of he needed to be accountable too or I was out. *I also offloaded some of the kid transport and pet-remembering responsibility to even things out to make that point.

My now ex once was away for work and unexpectedly had to stay another night so had to go and but a new shirt/pants/socks from the nearby M and S
He got the wrong collar size shirt, too small, and the wrong size underpants too small. The size he got he hasn't been for maybe 20 years
You'd have thought that he could ppp into the loo and read the label for the pants at least.
He had been putting in his clothes every day for those 20 years, you might have thought that he'd notice what size he was

"Do these dirty dishes in the sink need washed?", "does this rubbish need to go in the bin", "do you want me to set the table"..........and it goes on. I might add I rarely acknowledge, or answer, these questions and he usually figures it out relatively quickly!

My wife doesn't know how to spell the name of the street that we have lived on for 25 years - she asks me when she needs to know. Ditto our post code. And who we bank with with. She just has other things to think about.

Yep - there are lots of them out there ... including my youngest (adult) son who, when on a trip to the supermarket with me once, picked up a packet of something from the freezer section, waved it in front of me and (completely straight-faced) asked "Will I like this?" .... 🙄🙄🙄

That's absolutely incredible! How on earth does she not know all these things?

I'd have zero tolerance for the questions you're being asked. Even my 5yo knows that if she asks what's for dinner more than twice, I'll stop answering.

Amazingly, most men manage to do all this stuff when they live alone. Therefore it's either deliberate, or they've just become used to using your brain instead. Or possibly that your expectations/routines are vastly different and that makes it harder to remember some things (though in your case that doesn't seem right). Mine asks the odd annoying/daft question but in general they're about things which usually fall under my remit and him not knowing is understandable. For example, as sahm I do all the housework while he's at work and oldest is at school, and take the kids to swim lessons etc while he's at work, so I wouldn't expect him to know any specific details about those. He can do it all, but sometimes needs a reminder about where the polish is, or which compartment section is detergent or softener. Also I like everything to be on a schedule (calendar reminders for all tasks which are a few times a year like reading the meter, cleaning the windows etc), whereas he's always been the type of person to notice and do it when it becomes a problem. So I arrange all the reminders and poke him to do specific tasks at the time. Yes I'm carrying the mental weight of it, but equally he's doing things more regularly than he thinks is needed, because its how I like it. This works for us.

None of that is lighthearted. You’re not his partner, you’re his dogsbody.