What an insult !!!

[rosesarebeautiful7]

Been with partner 15 years 3 kids between ages of 1m and 8 ( all both of ours ) used to own a house together but he asked me to sign a prenup to make sure I didn’t get his deposit money, when we moved he brought me out ( 7k ) and I didn’t go on the next mortgage, fast forward to 3 kids and many years later I’ve said I’ve got no security, it’s completely his house I’ve mentioned this to him as we have kids together I’ve said to him I don’t feel like it’s my home and no security he could ask me to leave at any time !

I have spoke to him about this he messages me today as he’s been “ thinking “ he will write it down a “ letter “ to say that if anything happens to him then the house Is left to me and the kids !

im really insulted ! And not sure if im being unreasonable, we aren’t married we aren’t getting married either, I had hoped for some togetherness as a couple bringing up our kids together ! Please no comments about going to work my baby is only 5 weeks so that isn’t an option! X

This. There’s not been togetherness for a long time….

You need to calculate how much a 24 hour a day 7 days a week housekeeper and child carer/educator would cost for all the years you have given to him and the family. It is likely to be more than 50% of the house sale price.
This is all in your favour and the papers you signed can be challenged as "under duress". As I said before , you need to see a good solicitor approved for such cases.
There is even a possibility of coersive control. You have my best wishes .

Can I just say, the form you signed regarding having no rights is a standard mortgage requirement.

Anyone over the age of 18, regardless of relationship, who lives in a house being mortgaged, has to sign a waiver of rights. Most, but not all, mortgage companies require this.

What this basically means is that the mortgage company gets first dibs if the person who took the mortgage dies. Its just to cover their debt.

If they didnt have that, and you couldn't pay the mortgage, they'd be stuck because you live there. By waiving rights, they protect their loan by having the ability to sell.

It's not reassuring but your partner wasn't lying about it being standard practice

You are 100% wrong.

That's wrong too.

I take it you haven’t paid into the mortgage for 15years?

@Tiffypops Please stop talking dangerous bullshit. OP has no rights here so stop trying to persist with saying otherwise.

She's not married or in a civil partnership, her partner has said he doesn't want to marry her, she willingly allowed him to buy her out of a previous property they jointly owned and she signed the form to say that she would be making no claim on the current property.

She has no "rights" at all now. She even signed those she did have away. She is in a precarious position. She has no safety net at all. A solicitor might agree to challenge some of it but the law is far from on her side and success is very far from guaranteed. Unlikely even.

Stop talking bullshit and perpetuating the myth that women will be OK if they just throw themselves at the mercy of shitty men like this.

The whole thing is murky as there are ways to add a not earning partner to a mortgage - as I noted above we managed it wirh my partner. The difference was he paid 45% of the purchase in cash so needed to be on the deeds at least and I pushed for him to be on the mortgage as I wanted him to be jointly liaible for it even if I was going to be the one paying it.

The difference was my partner was workig but he was a fairly new contractor so it was just easier to have him on as "zero income" at the time.

OP were you not working at the time this house was bought?

You need to stop trusting other people, earn your own money and set out clearly to your partner what you want to happen in terma of the house. It astounds me how many women just trust their partner with this stuff. You and only you are responsible for your financial security.

Once again I'm astounded by people start a family and have multiple children without getting married.

It's so so stupid. They have no idea how important that "piece of paper" is until like the OP they are faced being on the street with a child in tow, with no home. Because if her 'partner' were to tell her to leave his home tonight, she'd be fucked without even a plastic cup to urinate in, let alone a pot. How can women be this fucking stupid? And for 15 years? 5 years is bad enough for a man to disrespect you and get the proverbial 'milk and cow for free' but 15? How low must your self respect be? If a man wouldn't know if he wanted to marry me after two years, he can fuck off! As he ain't worth shit! Let alone worth my eggs/DNA/children.

He sounds like an absolute selfish knob. You gave him 3 children and he still treats you this way? I am sure you have sacrificed more for him than he has for you too. I am sorry to say that he either has a warped idea of love or he just doesn’t love you.

Any poster telling you that you have legal rights over property/assets because you have children, a long relationship and look after the household etc is wrong!
Legally, in the UK, you have no right to claim anything in event of a break up.

The only thing you can legally claim is child support, but only in proportion to how much time the kids are with you. However, as anyone who has ever tried to get that from an unwilling partner knows, the CSA is utterly rubbish at ensuring that happens.

Only the Marriage Act gives you rights for property/assets and even then, its not a guaranteed 50/50 split

One could argue that you've lived rent free for a long time, and looking after your kids/home was your contribution. You wouldn't expect a landlord to give you a property after a split/death, so why should your partner do that, when he's taken all the financial burden. It's not my opinion btw- that's how the law views it!

If you want financial protection, either demand to get married, get a job/finances of your own, or get him to add you as joint owner to the property. Demanding a will is pointless to an extent, as he could change it at any time without your knowledge.

Go to CAB and learn your rights. Educate yourself to protect your financial future. Don't rely on anyone except yourself.

Had your DD already been bought out by her DP in the past, and then signed away any claim on the house? It also sounds like your DD was making contributions to the mortgage, whereas OP has not as she doesn’t work.

Any chance OP had to claim a share of the house evaporated when he bought her out and she stopped contributing to the mortgage payments.

Better than a letter get your name on the deeds!

Tiffypops is living in an alternate universe to everyone else. Everything she has posted is absolutely wrong.

if you have financially contributed you can bring a claim for beneficial ownership but it will be an expensive battle and you need to prove your contribution. How much have you contributed op? Have you got a clear record of your financial contribution?

Or lives somewhere with common law marriage (ie not the UK). She is absolutely wrong re: UK rights (Scotland has its own system but as far as I’m aware, it is aligned with England and Wales on this one).

I’ve seen Australian posters invoke common law marriage rights with supreme confidence on here, completely unaware they don’t apply everywhere (and I’ve also seen English posters assuming English law applies everywhere).

Don’t sign legal documents without being clear of implications. Op should have taken legal advice before buying first property with deed of trust, selling her share to him, signing mortgage form to say she had no interest in property. Forms usually have a disclaimer recommending independent legal advice is obtained but up to an adult if they do or not.
@Tiffypops I don’t know where your law degree is from but that’s wholly incorrect.
The law doesn’t readily give away peoples houses - think of all the claims there would be by guests or lodgers. In very limited circumstances you can bring a TOLATA claim. It’s basically you proving with evidence you have a beneficial interest in a property. It requires significant evidence of intentions to jointly own when purchasing and clear evidence of what contribution the person has made to property eg funding renovation or building work. It’s a very expensive court process not an easy fix.

You need the advice of a solicitor. I'm worried for you. if you've the papers from when you bought your own property and paperwork from when you sold it. The paperwork from the purchase date of the house you are living in now. Take your bank statements as well to show the money you received from the sale of your home and what you put as a deposit on this house. Plus print his response on your text. You have to get legal help.

He made you feel like that but you thought we will have another baby?! After he brought you out so that 7k is it saved? Or spent back into his) house?!

He’s stitched you up like a kipper. You shouldn’t have trusted him. You need a solicitor.

There’s no evidence he’s misled Op in any way.
In some ways he sounds a lot more honest than some men as he’s not proposed and given her an engagement ring to keep her hanging on with no intention of marrying.
Op knew she was living in a house that was his alone since they moved but has gone on to have children.
Op is an adult able to make her own decisions. All info readily available on internet, the CAB guide marriage v cohabitation is very easy to read.
I’m always surprised family and friends don’t have a quiet word but they probably see it as interfering or a moral judgment - I can imagine post on here if his mum asked if they were marrying before baby arrives it’s not 1950s!, or assume property jointly owned, wills in place, nominated as beneficiaries for life insurance and pensions etc.

First of all congratulations on your new baby. This must be a really busy and emotional time for you without this stress on top of it, welcoming a little one when you have 2 kids already.

I agree with other posters that something needs to change and you need to prioritise yourself at this point. There’s a big difference between when you first move in together to 15 years and three kids later and your partner needs to recognise that. If he can’t or won’t see that then you need a back up plan. Lots of advice here already so I just came to say try not to worry too much or stress yourself out, enjoy this time as a family but start to put some wheels in motion - future you will thank you one way or another! Best of luck

It’s true that there’s no evidence he’s misled OP. He also hasn’t cared about what is best for her or the children though.

I agree that OP is an adult able to make her own decisions.

Anyone reading that this is relevant to - please don’t have children without getting married first, or at least (not as good) sort out joint property ownership/wills/being the nominated beneficiary on life insurance and pensions/anything else a solicitor advises.

I too have been thinking that @Tiffypops may not be in the UK. That's why she assumes with such certainty that different laws/rights apply.

This is the UK. It's a UK based site and the majority of us who use it regularly are in the UK although there are a number of users who are based overseas. There is no such thing as common law marriage in the UK. Sometimes Scotland can have different laws but I believe it is now largely aligned with the rest of the UK on this.