What an insult !!!

[rosesarebeautiful7]

Been with partner 15 years 3 kids between ages of 1m and 8 ( all both of ours ) used to own a house together but he asked me to sign a prenup to make sure I didn’t get his deposit money, when we moved he brought me out ( 7k ) and I didn’t go on the next mortgage, fast forward to 3 kids and many years later I’ve said I’ve got no security, it’s completely his house I’ve mentioned this to him as we have kids together I’ve said to him I don’t feel like it’s my home and no security he could ask me to leave at any time !

I have spoke to him about this he messages me today as he’s been “ thinking “ he will write it down a “ letter “ to say that if anything happens to him then the house Is left to me and the kids !

im really insulted ! And not sure if im being unreasonable, we aren’t married we aren’t getting married either, I had hoped for some togetherness as a couple bringing up our kids together ! Please no comments about going to work my baby is only 5 weeks so that isn’t an option! X

Why did he buy you out? You need to write a pair of mirror wills.

Oh come off it, you just didn’t expect to be called out.

He's no partner and he's taken you for a mug!
This happened to my cousin. They moved into a house together in their early 20's, but he made sure it was bought in his name and she paid him rent (half the mortgage), he even made sure she had a rent book! Thankfully she eventually saw him for who he was and never had children with him, but spent 7 wasted years paying the mortgage and half of everything, but didn't own any of it down the line.

What's the point? She has no legal claim on anything. All she can do is take steps going forward and start to think about her financial future

Of course he doesn't want to get married. It wouldn't benefit him, but it would definitely benefit you! You are so vulnerable at the moment.

It all sounds a bit fishy to me.from the beginning.
And it is entirely your business,

You can check on who is name on the TItle Deeds of your house
through the Land Registry for a £7 fee,
Go ans see a propr Solicitor as soon as possible. Not Citizens Advice,
And explain your situation

Yesyou also need a Will ASAP
.
But you also need something pronto that's legal abut your situation in case of serious sudden unexpected events.

Hope you can sort this out amicably!

I'm sorry to say that this is exactly how it seems.

I'm not sure where you go from here. He won't commit and is trying to ring-fence every penny. This doesn't bode at all well.

Not even a legal document in England, so carries no weight whatsoever.

Leave him

Me and partner of 10 years have two children together and not married. When we bought our house we put in unequal shares for the deposit which was reflected in an agreement drawn up by the solicitor that upon sale the deposit would be returned to each party and the remaining funds split equally between each party. We both work so contribute to mortgage and childcare equally but if I were in your position I would still insist that on sale of the house the proceeds after deposit are split 50:50 as your role as SAHM is contributing to the family and a sacrifice you’re making so his income is in effect family income for the family home. We also both have wills which ensure that if anything happens the house either goes yo own of us for security of the family.
You both absolutely need wills for this reason but to also set out your wishes with regards to childcare in the event you both pass at the same time. Who do you want to look after the kids ?
You don’t need to be on the mortgage btw but you need to be on the house deeds.

You need to be in the will and a beneficiary for life insurance, and if you did contribute to mortgage etc then the deeds too. I know it’s too late now but you should have kept your stake in the house - even a small stake like £7k would give you some security and (hopefully) a return in investment if you were to split up. He should also marry you to give you security!

He doesn’t want you to have any security, that’s why he won’t marry you. What’s his, is his and he’s allowing you to stay at his house, cook, clean and have his children.
If he decides to end your relationship, then you and your DC are either on the streets or will have to stay with family. As long as his security isn’t affected, he doesn’t give a toss.

What has moving to a different area got to do with anything?

When you are not married it is of absolute importance that you are on the deeds to the house. He is absolutely shafting you, not showing you any commitment/security.

You need to get back to work ASAP and make sure he's the one paying for the nursery fees. If he objects, say you need to build up savings - his alternative is to get you on the deeds. A will isn't good enough, he can change that without telling you.

A piece of paper is worth nothing at all - at the moment, unless he has a will, the children are his next of kin so they inherit and you get nothing.

Why did you let him buy you out?

do you contribute to bills etc, if so you could register an interest in the property via land registry england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_cohabiting_sole_homeowners/preventing_sale_or_disposal_if_one_partner_is_the_sole_owner

What happened to the £7k?

dont tell me, he made you use it for living costs?
So you signed a pre-nup but didn’t get married. What’s that, a no-nuptial agreement?

should girls be educated on these matters at school? It comes up time and time again

Before the children grow up, it’s important to think about your legal and financial future. If you’re not married, you have very few automatic rights. It’s essential to ask him to enter into a marriage/civil partnership and make a proper will that protects you and the children.
If he refuses to do either, it’s a red flag. It may be painful, but you may need to seriously consider whether staying in the relationship is truly in your best interest. A relationship should be a two-way street built on mutual care, effort, and respect

Don not marry this man!!!

Look OP, obviously he isn’t ever going to marry you because at the moment he has somebody cleaning his house, doing his washing and looking after his kids for free, and if he ever meets anyone else he likes better, he can turf you out tomorrow and move her in the same day. He will keep the kids as you will have no means of supporting them. You won’t be high priority for housing as a single woman.

As soon as your maternity leave is up, get back to work. You are ridiculously vulnerable.

An actual pre-nup that follows the law generally is legally binding in E&W. Since they aren’t married, this isn’t a pre-nup and if it’s a cohabitation agreement (which is also legally binding), it seems to be one in his favour.

I don't think he can disinherit his own dependent children though (presumably he is on the birth certificates).

However I do agree that the OP has put herself in a precarious position.

Does he have a mortgage on the house? If so, you should both be on it and the title deeds.

There are all sorts of tax implications if he dies before you are married and a whole world of pain if he doesn't write a will. He NEEDS to do that at the very least. Would he consider a civil partnership, to give you the protection of marriage but without being 'married'

Is he paying you to look after the kids so he can go out to work?

My husband ha