Fiance slept with a prostitute

[Adviceneededrewedding]

Don’t know what to do or think.

Last night my fiance told me slept with a prostitute a couple of weeks ago after a work night out.

Basically, went out for work drinks and ended up getting paralytic, a work friend said to him I’ve got someone I want you to meet it’s a good business lead etc. They turn up at the house and partner is confused because there’s only girls there and there is a bed in the room. Work friend starts negotiating prices and partner then realises it’s a brothel. Said he started freaking out saying wtf are you doing this isn’t right etc. Work friend/ prostitues say to him this is normal everyone does it and he says they convince him to do it. He said the girl took his trousers down put on condom and they had sex for 30 seconds then he said no I can’t do this and ran out of the house and made his way home.

Broke down crying to me about this last night saying he’s so sorry and he can’t believe he’s done this and he’s never once been in a situation where he’s been close to cheating so can’t believe he was stupid enough to let himself get into this mess.

I’m in shock tbh I would never have expected this from him he is usually a really genuine moral person with really strong family/ relationship values. He said he will never do anything like this again and will not ever get himself in a state like that again.

Dont know what to do, we’re supposed to be getting married in 6 months. Other than this he has never done anything cheating wise etc he absolutely hates cheating. Am I being really naive to forgive him? I love him and I don’t want to throw away our relationship over a stupid drunken mistake if he will genuinely never do it again. I also can’t look at him and can’t imagine ever having sex with him again.

need some other opinions don’t want to tell anyone in my personal life.

Marry him so that you can divorce him and take half his assets. Get yourself back to work while you are married. If you can bear to stay with him for that amount of time!

Not weird. What's weird is that my brother got an erection at his uncles funeral service. (Still mocked about it today by our brothers)

Come on now op.

This is awful for you op. What amends is he offering to make? Any at all?

The only question is, do you end it now, or do you end it in a few years time when you have been humiliated repeatedly, wasted years of your life on this trashbag, have no self esteem left and probably riddled with STDs.

Isn't this completely dishonest though? I don't like what the man did but he told his fiance about it at least.

Imagine marrying someone for the sole purpose of taking half their money.

Oh come on OP don’t be so naive ffs. He shagged a prostitute and now is afraid someone might tell you so he’s made some ridiculous story up. Wake up.

He’s had sex with a prostitute and neglected to tell OP for a week, perhaps has sex with her too since then putting her health in danger oh and also yes he’s told her but clearly hasn’t been completely honest. So no, I don’t feel bad for the guy. OP has given up her career to raise his children and this is how he treats her? And she feels like she has no way out because she doesn’t work? Yes, he does owe her and his children half his assets so she can set herself up and leave the relationship.

What you heard was a carefully constructed and rehearsed story he concocted as damage limitation because he thought you were going to find out.

Not the truth.

What we have here is a man who had a choice:

Either I treat a woman as a thing, empty my bollocks into the bought body of a possible victim of human trafficking, cheat on my fiancée and expose her to the risk of an STD (fingers crossed the condom's ok) ...

Or ... I don't get into this situation in the first place.

🤔hmm, what to do ...

I know, I'll choose option A and concoct a ridiculous story and practice my crying. Yeah, should work.

It's unlikely this was his first and probably won't be his last (and after the wedding it'll be your family money he'll be chucking at this).

Anyway, you decide.

Just saw you already have kids with him and are a SAHM.

I'm so sorry, I'd imagined a very young couple just starting on life together and you having all the freedom and time to take control and a better route.

This makes it all so very much worse. This is happening to a woman who has given up work, income, pension etc to create him a family.

I doubt this was the first time and it won't be the last.

It might be wise to speak to a solicitor and find out your rights.

Imagine paying to have sex with a woman who more than likely is suffering as a direct result of your cruelty…

Any man that thinks it's ok to pay for sex is a degenerate and will definitely do it again. RUN.

OP, don't let desperation and fear of being alone keep you tied to this disgusting man. No one accidentally has sex with a prostitute. It would be better to be by yourself than be stuck with a cheating dickhead. You know this OP. I think you know he is lying too. Who cares if he finds someone else. Let him cheat on them, not you. Have some self respect and give your kids a better role model than a cheat. Raise your bar, get an STI check and get rid of this gross man. You deserve better than this.

Given your update, I would "forgive", marry and then divorce. He had 2 kids with you, got you to give up work and didn't marry you? I sense him trying to get out of it. Fuck him.

Being trapped with children as a SAHM with your career abandoned and no money of your own does change things, but it absolutely doesn't change what he has done- he has risked your life together, the stability and happiness of his children and your health by his actions.
You may choose to accept the story he has spun- but it does not change the facts, he has risked everything for a 30 sec dalliance.
He thinks you will accept it because you are trapped and not financially independent.
Do you really want to be joined in matrimony to a man who thinks -I'll have a little fun , but it will be ok because my partner has no money and nowhere to go and will put up with it because of our children. Unfortunately many men think like this , because thousands of men have got away with this type of behaviour because because of women who are scared to fend for themselves and tell themselves it is best for the children, when really it is their own fear alone.

I think I misheard you - don't you mean EX-fiance?

So sorry you are going through this op, sending hugs ❤

But please leave this man, if he's done this once, I'd never trust him again.

I don’t believe his version of the story.

At all.

Exactly my thoughts.

*Their money.

Family assets.

So sorry he’s done this to you.

You don’t know if it was 30 seconds or thirty minutes and we know it’s not possible to get a condom on a flaccid penis and the rest.

His lying is the major red flag. He wants to tell you before marriage so it’s a clean slate but needs to be truthful if you want to move past it.

I just can't get over "so close to cheating" in the OP

when he said he had had his dick in another woman

Leave him now. Don’t look back.

A man's penis can get an erection at times when the man's brain really, really, doesn't want it to. I was a nurse, and I can't emphasise enough, how embarrassed some men get when they get an erection while being given a Bedbath, and it usually happens before you get anywhere near their genitals ...!

I know that - I’m talking about sustaining and penetrating

He still could have said no and walked out and not had sex with the prostitute.