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Original poster

Fiance slept with a prostitute

630 replies

Adviceneededrewedding · 20/07/2025 13:02

Don’t know what to do or think.

Last night my fiance told me slept with a prostitute a couple of weeks ago after a work night out.

Basically, went out for work drinks and ended up getting paralytic, a work friend said to him I’ve got someone I want you to meet it’s a good business lead etc. They turn up at the house and partner is confused because there’s only girls there and there is a bed in the room. Work friend starts negotiating prices and partner then realises it’s a brothel. Said he started freaking out saying wtf are you doing this isn’t right etc. Work friend/ prostitues say to him this is normal everyone does it and he says they convince him to do it. He said the girl took his trousers down put on condom and they had sex for 30 seconds then he said no I can’t do this and ran out of the house and made his way home.

Broke down crying to me about this last night saying he’s so sorry and he can’t believe he’s done this and he’s never once been in a situation where he’s been close to cheating so can’t believe he was stupid enough to let himself get into this mess.

I’m in shock tbh I would never have expected this from him he is usually a really genuine moral person with really strong family/ relationship values. He said he will never do anything like this again and will not ever get himself in a state like that again.

Dont know what to do, we’re supposed to be getting married in 6 months. Other than this he has never done anything cheating wise etc he absolutely hates cheating. Am I being really naive to forgive him? I love him and I don’t want to throw away our relationship over a stupid drunken mistake if he will genuinely never do it again. I also can’t look at him and can’t imagine ever having sex with him again.

need some other opinions don’t want to tell anyone in my personal life.

OP posts:
AlwaysFreezing · 20/07/2025 13:11

Thank fuck you know now and not after you're married and or with kids.

You get to walk away with no ties to this man and have the chance at a happy life in the future.

He's done you a massive favour. Thank him! And in a year this will all be a distant memory!

Hiptothisjive · 20/07/2025 13:11

If you believe that you will believe anything.

CC222 · 20/07/2025 13:11

Am I the only one that thinks he was coerced into this? Yes he should’ve left the minute he realised where he was, but if this was a woman saying this story everyone would be on here saying it’s rape.
if he’s truly telling the truth, I think I’d view this slightly differently to most of the other prostitute stories we read on here. I know that doesn’t make it any less hurtful to you though.

Charabanc · 20/07/2025 13:11

ended up getting paralytic,

If he was that paralytic, how did he manage to perform? How was he hard enough to put a condom on, even for the pretendy "30 seconds" of intercourse?

Honestly OP, you're being completely played here. And there'll be more to come out.

Charabanc · 20/07/2025 13:12

CC222 · 20/07/2025 13:11

Am I the only one that thinks he was coerced into this? Yes he should’ve left the minute he realised where he was, but if this was a woman saying this story everyone would be on here saying it’s rape.
if he’s truly telling the truth, I think I’d view this slightly differently to most of the other prostitute stories we read on here. I know that doesn’t make it any less hurtful to you though.

Oh come off it. Of course he's not being honest!

"It was them, love! My mean friend and the mean lady made me have sex with her!" 🙄

TidyDancer · 20/07/2025 13:12

He’s had two weeks to perfect his story and practice the delivery. You’d be mad to either believe him or stay with him.

rainbowstardrops · 20/07/2025 13:13

🙄

Onetwobuckeroo · 20/07/2025 13:13

If he was that paralytic, then how did he “get it up” in the first place?! Also surely once a man has “started”, he is hardly going to stop without finishing after 30 seconds?!?

Sorry for the perhaps overshare but trying to make you see sense. Do NOT marry this lying sack of…

sunshine244 · 20/07/2025 13:14

I think details about the work colleague are important. Is it a boss, someone in his team on same level, someone junior to him etc?

What has happened since with work? Does he want to leave or put in a complaint about coercion? Or is he planning to carry on with his job like nothing happened?

Francine84 · 20/07/2025 13:15

His colleague tricked him into sleeping with a prostitute, he didn’t want to, it just happened… Seriously? You can’t be so naive as to believe a single word of that.

Be grateful that you’re not already married to this creep, and get yourself far away from him.

viques · 20/07/2025 13:15

“They convinced him to do it”

Hey @Adviceneededrewedding fiancé, I have millions stashed in a foreign bank account that I can only access using your name and banking details, give us a call please. This is genuine btw, I am not a scammer.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 20/07/2025 13:15

Wow.
he’s told you what he thinks is enough of a version of the truth to relieve his guilt, while massively blaming others.

he was so upset and against the idea that he waited for the price negotiations and got an erection, then had sex briefly before he decided not to do it.

I couldn’t get past this, ever.

chatgptsbestmate · 20/07/2025 13:15

It seems to me very unlikely that what he is saying is true. I mean.....its not even believable

So.....let's pretend that what he is saying IS true. He was coerced and controlled into having sex with a sex worker for 30 seconds and couldn't walk away because he was forced into this situation

We're believing this , right? Then it's rape. He was raped. He should immediately go to the police and report it

Thankfully he managed to escape from the rape situation and ran away after 30 seconds. Phew!

I mean.....its just not true is it? I'm not a rape deny-er but I'll bet a LOT that he wasn't coerced and he's shitting himself because for some reason he thinks you might find out so he's cobbled together some stupid bollox.

He's not smart, is he?

AcquadiP · 20/07/2025 13:15

I'm sorry but his story makes no sense. His work friend tells him he wants him to meet a new business lead after they've been in the pub and had a skin full? He walks into a room full of women and a bed. He was "persuaded" that this was normal, acceptable behaviour and a woman pulled down his pants and put a condom on him. He had sex with her but only for 30 seconds. Whatever...
Sounds to me as though he's worried his work "friend" will spill the beans and he's getting in first.

MounjaroMounjaro · 20/07/2025 13:16

Well I can see he's convinced you, but he wouldn't convince me! I think you'll find he believes he's got an STD and that's why he's told you this ridiculous story.

Insomniapain · 20/07/2025 13:16

Don’t know what to do or think.

Yes you do.

You now know he is a cheating scumbag who has sex with prostitutes. And who thinks you are stupid enough to buy his ridiculous story and his crocodile tears.

So what you do is finish things with him ASAP, get a sexual health check and thank your lucky stars you have dodged a bullet by not marrying him.

Isittimeformynapyet · 20/07/2025 13:16

Helianthusinbloom · 20/07/2025 13:06

Wow that’s certainly a good story from him but likely not true. He’s avoiding all responsibility and just accidentally managed to get aroused, put a condom on and start to have sex with someone that wasn’t you.
Don’t marry this man. If you do, you’re showing him that you’ll accept infidelity and it’s a green light to do this again. How can you ever trust him?
Call off the wedding and make sure people know why it wasn’t your decision.

Surely that would be her decision?

Hiptothisjive · 20/07/2025 13:16

Charabanc · 20/07/2025 13:11

ended up getting paralytic,

If he was that paralytic, how did he manage to perform? How was he hard enough to put a condom on, even for the pretendy "30 seconds" of intercourse?

Honestly OP, you're being completely played here. And there'll be more to come out.

Unfortunately thats not exactly true. Getting hard, orgasims etc can happen during assault as it’s a natural body response. It doesn’t mean the person is willing or wants it.

However, that aside. The OPs fiancé is clearly telling porky pies.

FOJN · 20/07/2025 13:17

Basically, went out for work drinks and ended up getting paralytic, a work friend said to him I’ve got someone I want you to meet it’s a good business lead etc.

Your fiance thinks following up on a good business lead when he's paralytic makes sense? He knew where he was going and what for. I agree with pp, he's worried you were going to find out another way.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 20/07/2025 13:17

You can't accidentally put your penis into a prostitute, OP.

Coconutter24 · 20/07/2025 13:17

He said the girl took his trousers down put on condom and they had sex for 30 seconds then he said no I can’t do this and ran out of the house and made his way home.

So the prostitute managed to take his trousers down, he let her put a condom on and then he says they only had sex for 30 seconds. Every step of that he had the opportunity to say no. If he was the genuine moral person you believed him to be as soon as he realised (that’s if that is true) that he was in a brothel he should of walked out, instead he allowed his pants to be taken down, he allowed someone to put a condom on him and he allowed sex to happen, doesn’t matter if he went for 30 seconds or 30 minutes he still did it

Charabanc · 20/07/2025 13:19

I'd put £10 on his work colleague having been found out, either by a partner or his work, and now he knows the shit's going to hit the fan. So he's getting his story in first.

Huggersunite · 20/07/2025 13:20

CC222 · 20/07/2025 13:11

Am I the only one that thinks he was coerced into this? Yes he should’ve left the minute he realised where he was, but if this was a woman saying this story everyone would be on here saying it’s rape.
if he’s truly telling the truth, I think I’d view this slightly differently to most of the other prostitute stories we read on here. I know that doesn’t make it any less hurtful to you though.

Honestly I’m normally all over this shit but that thought occurred to me but the arousal necessary for men to have sex makes me question if this could really happen the other way around. The fact he came clean would give me some pause for thought because the dishonest ones without conscience normally don’t have any issue with hiding any evidence necessary.

Greendress22 · 20/07/2025 13:23

If it genuinely was his first time just remember that she was able to put the condom on him so he was fully willing. Whether or not he did regret it or finished the job he was willing! He could easily be willing again. It’s your choice but sadly you may always doubt him and struggle to trust him going forward.

The only thing that is going in his favour is the fact he admitted it and felt dreadful. Perhaps that is genuine as most men wouldn’t admit it.

I feel for you here!

bumblecoach · 20/07/2025 13:23

I would have less issue with him getting drunk and sleeping with a prostitute then I would even quietly booking one on a Tuesday afternoon on his lunch break which is what the psychotic ones do