If you are married to an orthopaedic surgeon (not private practice), how well off do you feel as a family, if you don’t work yourself?

[Yunall]

Just wondering as DP is a surgeon (just made consultant). He doesn’t do private work and I would say we have a nice lifestyle but only because my income tops it up. I’m used to a lot of luxury and had a privileged upbringing (don’t mean to sound like a dick I’m just stating a fact) and I wonder if we had kids if I would actually have to continue working to have a decent lifestyle. Not something I talk much to DP about as he came from a less well off background and understandably I would come across ungrateful!!!

This is spot on - he would need to develop a successful private practice or invent some medical equipment etc if you want real luxury.

This is complete nonsense. Of course highly paid professionals can amass wealth. Once you’re on 300, 400, 500k+ plus, you can save/invest a considerable amount - max out pension, build a stock portfolio, property portfolio etc. I can’t speak for surgeons, but investment bankers and law partners get huge lump sums (bonus, profit share) every year which can be invested. It’s not a coincidence that this subset of professionals typically retire years if not decades before typical people pension age.

I know surgeons in NHS and private practice. They invest their money back in their homeland. They get family there to run their investments. Good luck HMRC tracking and taxing that.

Crikey you can't compare NHS Consultants to investment bankers and Law firm partners! There aren't any annual bonuses in the NHS!

They are getting wealthy by investing in assets that generate income.

Ask your parents to pass over some of the cash, they are responsible for your high expectations, let them bankroll the lifestyle you want.

edit: quoted wrong post.

That’s why I said I can’t speak for surgeons. Although I would be amazed (and slightly appalled) if surgeons in the private sector are not earning £300k+.

@Crushed23 people such as investment bankers & partners in law firms are essentially invested in their businesses and are equivalent to part ownership, eg, equity. And equity is the source of wealth, not their salary. I know medics who have become wealthy, but not through their jobs doing NHS or private work, rather through research collaboration leading to innovation, patents on products, licensed medical software, that sort of thing leads to wealth. There are huge opportunities in medicine/pharmaceutical to get rich. But this is not the same as showing up for work & getting a salary.

It's shameful that she doesn't want to work but wants the same lifestyle she has now on her husband's salary.

It’s really not shameful at all, just practical. What is ‘shame’ to you? Women used to be shamed for wanting to do anything else but stay at home with kids, how quickly we got to the other end of the scale! There is fuck all ‘shaming’ about wanting a nice life while spending time bringing up kids, and if you think there is you need to analyse why you have internalised being a working drone being so morally valuable - it all a bit Animal Farm, but the late stage capitalism version.

BTW, I work 4.5 days a week myself and freelance on the side but took time off with small kids and provided a valuable service to my kids and my family and that is totally acceptable!

Ethics are a thing!