If you are married to an orthopaedic surgeon (not private practice), how well off do you feel as a family, if you don’t work yourself?

[Yunall]

Just wondering as DP is a surgeon (just made consultant). He doesn’t do private work and I would say we have a nice lifestyle but only because my income tops it up. I’m used to a lot of luxury and had a privileged upbringing (don’t mean to sound like a dick I’m just stating a fact) and I wonder if we had kids if I would actually have to continue working to have a decent lifestyle. Not something I talk much to DP about as he came from a less well off background and understandably I would come across ungrateful!!!

There's no luck in business and you create your own opportunities. A lot of insanely wealthy people have been bankrupt more than once

Of course there is some luck in business. It’s possible to create your own opportunities and also be successful (or otherwise) due to an element of luck or chance.

The starting salary for a Consultant in London is £106K. First 3 years stays at that and then starts to rise, by about £5k a year. I am an ops manager for an ortho unit and they all do private work on top.

I earn a fraction less than your husband and my partner earns a little less than you (probably about £15k less total couple vs couple)

We have 2 kids in the S.E and there is no way we can live a luxury lifestyle on that. We are comfortable but luxury no way.

We have a nice 4 bed house in a fairly nice area but its by no means big and the garden is small. We manage an overseas holiday every other year currently (or whenever I have a large commission cheque. We eat out roughly once every 6-8 weeks at reasonably priced places and maybe once a year at somewhere more fancy (not super fancy). We have cut back to 1 TV subscription and are pretty much breaking even every month.

So unless your partner is able to significantly up his earning I would be very surprised if you can give up work and still live in luxury with kids.

I don't get why the op wants to give up work altogether. I bet if she did she'd be climbing the walls.

She specifically said she doesn't want to work. The real question is: Is her husband ok with that?

Why? I can think of so much stuff I’d like to do if I didn’t have to work!

Why don't pensioners pay rent?

Because they are living mortgage free in their own homes, having already paid off their mortgage?

Oh, that's quite a leap to assume people own their own homes. Some never had a mortgage in the first place so renting it is.

No it isn't. The reply was about people who do own their homes. If they don't then they rent or they live in residential care or with their families.

The reply said 'most pensioners are not paying mortgages or rent'

Yeah it must be so hard

Someone on £12.5k is better off than someone on £100k ? How do you work that one out? True he won't be paying income tax but he will have to pay council tax, gas, elec, water rates, broadband, home insurance, property maintenance and he will need to eat. My current essential outgoings account for 35% of my monthly income and I am really feeling the pinch. Also worth noting that in the dim and distant past I (a single mum on a low wage) paid a mortgage, child care, and all the bills that I still have to pay now. Child care, while it is a huge expense at the time is not forever, food, fuel, water, insurance, are life long costs as are the repairs and maintenance of property.

I’ve commented about this a couple of times already on this thread. £100k after tax and 5% pension contribution is approx £5471 per month. Childcare for one child £2000 (that’s what most of my colleagues are currently paying and some are paying closer to £3000), £2000 for a mortgage (buys you a small two bed terrace in my area) and £495 for a monthly train pass. Leaves you with less than £1000 per month for all other bills, food and household expenses. My dad has slightly more than this per month and only has one person to feed and cloth (i.e. himself).

Most of them don’t. The stats show that almost 80% are owner occupiers and that the vast majority of them own their properties outright. As a group, they have much better housing security than other age demographics.

As I have already pointed out nobody will have to pay child care for the rest of their lives and while it is a huge expense you will feel the difference when they need less care. Likewise the pension contributions will hopefully see you better off than many when you eventually retire. It is all proportional isn't it? Showed your outgoings to my mate who is an HCA and a single mum and like you she has nothing left after her rent, bus pass, food and essentials but you would probably think that £800 a month and £75.00 bus pass is nothing but it is a huge chunk from her wages. She has about £250 left after all the essentials are paid for.

I’m not talking about my own situation. But I do have friends and colleagues in this position. The point I am making is that no one would describe my dad as rich but plenty of people would say that someone on £100k is. But it really isn’t as straight forward as that. Just the other week my FIL was describing those on £100k as the wealthy. However, he wouldn’t describe himself as wealthy even though he and MIL have over £50k of pensions coming in and very low outgoings. The fact is that they have far more disposable income than many people I know on £100k +.

i am guilty of this and hold my hands up! I live a life of luxury in my two up two down.😂 I was a single mum and had to work two jobs to pay the mortgage and it was bloody hard. I have been on holiday about 10 times in the past 30 years, I have struggled to pay repairs and at the moment the torrential rain had shown up another leak in my roof and I am worried about how I am going to pay to repair it, maybe I should cancel that cruise (joke). The area I live in is a slum these days and when I put the bin out this evening I was approached by a beggar who was off his face who shook a plastic cup in my face and asked for money. I felt quite threatened. So not all us oldies are living the high life, I appreciate that I do not have a mortgage anymore but it was a struggle to pay it off and I had to make sacrifices. Do you begrudge me this? You really would not want to live where I am, had to have the police out to the neighbours the other week due them being involved in a drunken brawl on the street

Who said that I begrudge you anything? You really are taking this personally. I have simply said on this thread on multiple occasions that most pensioners don’t have the same outgoings as single parents because most pensioners are not paying mortgage/rent childcare or commuting costs. Are you saying that I am wrong?

I was a single parent and now I am a pensioner both so I think I am in a reasonable position to comment. I know what it is like to go without both as a young woman and now as a much older one who is in the departure lounge

Why don’t you want to work? That’s a pretty shameful attitude.

You didn’t answer my question…also, what makes you think I don’t understand what is like to go without? Just because I am a high earner now doesn’t mean my life was always like this. I have told you that my father has an income of approx £12,500 per annum. It’s pretty obvious that I don’t come from an affluent background.

It's a common attitude. Having to work is different to wanting to work.

There is no shame at all in a woman admitting she would prefer a SAHM/housewife role over climbing the corporate ladder. Sounds like OP has had her fair share of it already having progressed to £80k pa.

Nothing wrong with not wanting to work. Or have kids.