To be fed up of my boring partner?

[Username0900]

Totally prepared to be flamed by saying this but that's what an anonymous forum is for. AIBU to just be fed up of how boring my partner is??

I'll start off by saying by no means am I adventurous but we've got 1 life and it should be at least enjoyed a little.
My DP just seems to have no interest in doing anything, he doesn't drink, fair enough so that's pubs/clubs out of the equation, he's overweight so hardly ever wants to eat out as he's on a diet constantly. He doesn't enjoy the socialising that comes with us having a 6 year old so he doesn't come to the park/library/play dates even when I ask. He likes football but doesn't enjoy watching it in person or at the pub. He won't go to a concert/music event.

We actually do nothing together and I dont know if I am being unreasonable for being fed up or if he should make more effort. We have nothing in common but im willing to compromise, I'd go to a football match or I'd love him to come to a music event, he doesn't have to love it, it would just be spending that time together.

I have to almost beg him for a day out to the seaside because there are always reasons why he doesn't want to do something. Yet if I do ever do something without having asking he sulks as to why he wasn't invited. I don't miss out because I end up doing these things with friends, but honestly we've been together 7 years and if I have to endure this forever what is the point!?

@Username0900 I’m going to be honest here, lots of things in life can be a bit of a waste of money if you think ‘is it necessary’ - eating out, day trips with kids, holidays, Xmas -but my god it’s going to be one dull life if everything is deemed a waste of money apart from food, utilities and housing

I think if he concentrated on loosing weight-the rest would fall into place
overweight people often have issues with esteem which can affect psychological wellbeing stop papering over the cracks if he is serious about participating fully in family life he needs to look after his own health
why don’t you suggest he look at overeaters anonymous
they can help with the whole addiction physical-mental and spiritual
he has got to want to change
you could look at O-anon for support and suggestions for your own well-being
the only person that we can change is ourselves
once you have accepted the situation is what it is you can move forward all the best with the situation

God what a miserable existence

Unfortunately we don't have a crystal ball or can we look into the future (we'll most of us lol) I was married for 19yrs and was very unhappy for a very long time, My advice to you would be look at where you are in life and what your partner actually contributes to your relationship the most important thing in life is happiness you only get 1 chance in this mortal realm and life has taught me that you never what's gonna happen next......
Tomorrow isn't promised 😔
I truly hope you can get this sorted my lovely 😊

It's true though, time after time you see it.

No comment from me but however the child came to be, being critical of that now, helps no one. The point is the situation that people are in now.

You are unhappy

What is stopping you from leaving ?

Make a plan & leave

Claim child .maintenance

I’ve literally ruined my life by stupidly staying with a man that is only interested in sport! Any sport will do from ping pong to marbles, football to horse racing, he’s absolutely obsessed with sport. He will talk to anyone who listens about football & racing and bore the arse off them all day every day. If he ever did go out with me for a meal he would look around the restaurant or pub and ‘find’s person to chat sport with whilst ignoring me. He’s got absolutely nothing in common with our son at all, actually not true, my son plays golf with his friends and if he sees my husband , husband will bore sons arse off about ‘back in the day” (1960’s) when he used to play gold with his ex in laws’
i read your post and as an older lady to you say to you PLEASE do not waste your time & life on a boring partner. I realised several times over the years (40 odd years!) I should left years ago but something always cropped up which made me make excuses to leave, I was a fool because I’m in my sixties now and have spent many many years regretting staying with such a boring bastard. Now he’s got dementia and I’m ’his Carer’ and I’m stuck in this life I’ve ended up in. Please take a long hard look at your future life and that of your child and ask yourself if he’s honestly going to change , if that answer is no then do yourself a favour and get out now. If not once your left on your own with him when your child flys the nest one day you will still be lonely, bored and stuck in the same position or worse like me. Life is for living and trust me when I say it goes so quickly. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

@Behaveyourself88 bang on !! You sound great and wise too.

Whatever you do I would advise to make a decision and stick to it
you should access all the resources you can ( e g advice from women’s aid)
nothing is wasted maybe you needed to go through this negative experience in order to galvanise your actions for the future you are stronger than you think

fear is a natural emotion it’s what keeps us safe I have found that it helps to separate clock-time what is happening now and action we can take to resolve it from‘psychological-time‘worry about future events and past issues that are unresolved as soon as we notice that we are anxious it looses its energy (like sitting in a different seat )
if we take care of today as best we can yesterday and tomorrow don’t need a whole lot of stress
(I had to have some life changing experiences to enable me to be ready to change my attitude but can see it was just my journey
I know I am a compulsive caretaker over manager but rather than berating myself I ask the universe to make me useful Some folks cal this ‘handing over ‘

I have to almost beg him for a day out to the seaside because there are always reasons why he doesn't want to do something.

This will be your life unless you take the reins in your own hands.

Do you want your child to end up like this? Or show him/her life is exciting and wonderful when you get up and out there?

You are your own power in this choice.

People on here are always recommending counselling - which is always expensive and some are great, but some are crap - but there's loads of stuff on Youtube in that genre. Just google what you want on it.

time to throw off the chains