DH being cruel to small fish

[linaplatelover]

DH is part of a team sport - has been for years no issues usually with it.

he has brought home a small ‘goldfish’ in a tiny tank. This small fish has been passed around different team members. Apparently if it dies on your watch you have to pay a fine.

the fish clearly isn’t being cared for properly, the water is cloudy it has no filter or air stone.

Ive looked up the type of fish and it’s not even a goldfish - it’s a small orange tropical fish that requires a heater.

I'm absolutely furious! I hate any cruelty to animals and think this type of lads game from a 40 yr old man is ridiculous.

first off mumsnetters AIBU? And if you think no what should I do?

worst part is that DH agrees that it’s cruel but for some reason ‘doesn’t want to cause a fuss’

I cannot imagine being with a man like this. DH recently bought DD(2) some fish and a tank. He knows how to keep fish anyway as we had a very large tropical fish tank/oak unit about 7/8 years ago (had to sell as it was too big to take to our new home) but he still did some more research including how many were suitable for the size of the tank (not very big). We’ve got 4 neon tetras, 2 snails and some shrimp. He checks the temperature etc a couple of times a day to make sure it’s right. I’m not interested in fish so it’s his job to clean them out/feed them etc and DD is loving helping him “clean” the tank (wiping the outside glass with a micro fibre cloth) and every night she sits with him to look at them/say goodnight to them.

DH is a “man’s man”, plays football, works in a trade and all of his friends are the same and yet none of them would treat a fish like this. It’s vile.

Please keep the fish and sort out an appropriate tank, heating and filtering system etc or rehome responsibly.

He shouldn’t pay a ‘fine’ for opting out of cruelty.

how Pathetic and weak - he should be telling his team that what they’re doing is animal cruelty and that he wants no part of this.

Your DH should find new friends.

Has DH said anything to the team, tried to find another team to join?

Arseholes all of them too a man.

I'm so glad you are giving this fish a better life. But I'm concerned that if your DH is paying the fine he has said it has died. If this is the case, what happens now? Do they just buy another and start again? That's not the answer. Please tell me he has stood up to them and they have agreed to stop? If he has taken the cowards way out then I think I'd start looking at him in a very different light. I honestly couldn't be with someone who allowed cruelty to any creature in order not to rock the boat with his mates.

Unless he stood up to his mates you're going to end up with a tank full of fish.

How cruel! Shocking that grown men would behave like this, taking pleasure in torturing a little fish. Such a pathetic ’game’.

I’m glad you’ve saved the fish, OP, but I wouldn’t let these men get away with it, not least because they might do it again. You could phone the RSPCA or I’m pretty sure your local council will have an Animal/Wildlife Officer (the name varies around the country). These officers often visit schools to talk about animal cruelty of various forms, but they should also be able to talk to this team of pathetic men to educate them about their actions - and to make it clear to them they’re breaking the law.

That’s who I’d contact. The team won’t know it’s you, as it could be any one of the team’s partners or children, or even someone who heard them talking about it.

I think your DH should learn to be a man and not copy his idiot team mates like a beta sheep. Take that fish to a nice place where it will be happy. I'd be disgusted personally.

Pay the fine?! Wtaf - that poor fish and what a bunch of idiots your DH is friends with.

I'm glad the fish is going to be looked after properly but I have no idea why you're paying the so-called 'fine'.

Get it a proper tank or rehome it. Inform whoever they got it from (if it was a shop).
They sound like idiots.. it would put me off if it was my DH.

Bigger question is are they going to buy another fish to do this all over again?
What a bunch of dicks btw.

Steal it. Make the fish disappear. Give it a better life. He can tell them it died and pay the fine.

100%
Poor thing 😢

Oh here we go, if you aren't a vegan you may as well spend your spare time kicking puppies to death and setting fire to kittens

Why is he paying the fine if the fish hasn't died?

Op has given the DH a roasting and the fish is being looked after properly.
The DH is telling his prick team mate's the fish has died to save face and not admit said creature is being looked after.🤯

And a meat eater is triggered again over something completely irrelevant to the thread.

Im not vegan BTW I just love how so many people who eat dead animals always feel the need to jump to defending themselves (mostly against some imaginary attack) whilst trying to insult people with a different philosophy to them.

If you are that secure in your diet, enjoy it. Most vegetarians and vegans couldn't care less what you eat and are often bewildered by the unnecessary way you feel the need to justify your choices.

OP, I love you for this. I’m so glad the fish has you, and that it’s already looking happier. I hope your DH had to stump up for everything it needed though!

Excellent response 👌

Good news.

Make sure he has the balls to tell them why. If he says it died, then they wont learn. As I was typing that, I thought "this sounds like Im taking about children" but they are really, arent they?

This!!!!!

I hope he has the balls to tell the truth.

That it’s cruel and he disagrees with the whole thing.