DH being cruel to small fish

[linaplatelover]

DH is part of a team sport - has been for years no issues usually with it.

he has brought home a small ‘goldfish’ in a tiny tank. This small fish has been passed around different team members. Apparently if it dies on your watch you have to pay a fine.

the fish clearly isn’t being cared for properly, the water is cloudy it has no filter or air stone.

Ive looked up the type of fish and it’s not even a goldfish - it’s a small orange tropical fish that requires a heater.

I'm absolutely furious! I hate any cruelty to animals and think this type of lads game from a 40 yr old man is ridiculous.

first off mumsnetters AIBU? And if you think no what should I do?

worst part is that DH agrees that it’s cruel but for some reason ‘doesn’t want to cause a fuss’

I don't like fish as pets anyway but this is beyond the beyonds, like others have said get onto a tropical fish shop, what a cruel, dickish thing to do

Awful. Just fucking horrible.

@linaplatelover just in case you don't know;
don't change the full amount of water! you only change 1/3 at a time
it's unlikely to be a tropical fish needing a heater especially since it's survived the other team mates.

Fucking disgusting. I genuinely couldn't be with someone who was so cruel to animals. You 100% take the fish and rehome responsibility or look after it properly yourself.

And this sums up everything wrong with men.

Agree. Best option here!

Sickening

My first thought was to pay the fine and rehome the fish but they might just get another one! I think he needs to make the fuss and point out that being cruel to a fish is hardly manly behaviour.

I couldn’t imagine being part of a friendship group where I didn’t feel comfortable enough to speak up about something I didn’t like.

My thoughts exactly. I would LTB if he didn’t put a stop to it immediately.

My DP actually wouldn’t do this and would know my reaction, he’d stop his mates from doing it too.

Fuck off, my MAN partner, brother, uncles, dad wouldn’t do this, NO MAN in my family or life would do this.

I would be so disappointed in my husband and I would make sure he knew why I was upset and furious with him.

I would not be giving the fish back. I'd either try to rehome it with a responsible owner or accept that I now have fish and learn how to care for it properly.

Poor fish.

Totally agree with this. My DH has just spent the best part of the last week helping ladybirds out of the house and releasing them into the wild with a, 'There you go darling'.

OP. If your husband isn't prepared to stand up to these men over a fish what else does he go along with against his wishes whilst they're all out on the lash?

Yes, op, thank goodness you care.It’s just sad and cruel, that this a game to them.There’s been some really good suggestions, personally l would intervene, not let the fish go back to this group.
Did think, that was a good solution to say they’d died, pay the fine and that be the end of it.But will they just go out and get more.Would be really good if your partner, let the know, this game can’t continue, just because they’re fish doesn’t mean they have no worth, it’s just wrong.

To be fair I was specifically relying to a comment made about fishing. At no point did I comment on the individual circumstance or say it was ok

Well,your OH needs to grow some balls and speak out about the lack of basic adequate care for that fish!
Get yourselves off to the pet store and buy the equipment necessary for keeping that species and keep it……don’t even consider passing it on to the next silly little man in the chain of torture! Disgraceful behaviour……they should all be ashamed!

I would divorce a man who had this nature and whilst I was at it ring the RSPCA . There must be something deeply wrong with their group of disturbed people to enjoy or participate in this sort of behaviour.

I’m thinking of the men I know best, my DH , brothers, brother in law, and my late father. Every single one of them would be horrified, say something, and do something about it.

I couldn’t be with someone that was ok with allowing cruelty to happen to a defenceless creature, it’s abhorrent. Your husband needs to grow a pair and stand up for the poor thing. Then he needs to find a way to improve its quality of life.

Evil is built on the backs of people who know it’s cruel but don’t want to make a fuss.

The despicable weakness of him.

Aw that’s so sweet!

My dad was the man who taught me all about wildlife and animals, he taught me all about how to care for pets.

My partner adores our pets and despises animal cruelty.

My son loves animals. All the males I know would look down on a man who did this to a fish.

Men.
Enough said.
Glad not to have many around me.

Op, you know this isn't right, I'd like to think your DH doesn't think it's right, but he's afraid to stand up to his friends and say so because they'll tell him he's being a killjoy. I couldn't have any respect for a man who wouldn't stand up for what he believes in

The man's a fool

Just bloody horrible. Step in and make sure this fish is comfortable
I am not a animal lover but I abhor this kind of cruelty.
Your husband and his mates are half witted, cruel tossers.

It would 'die' on my wat h, and either go I to the most luxurious tank I could afford, or be rehomed somewhere suitable.

And I'm sure some would say it's not a big deal, but I would be looking at my DH very differently if he hadn't immediately suggested this.