DH being cruel to small fish

[linaplatelover]

DH is part of a team sport - has been for years no issues usually with it.

he has brought home a small ‘goldfish’ in a tiny tank. This small fish has been passed around different team members. Apparently if it dies on your watch you have to pay a fine.

the fish clearly isn’t being cared for properly, the water is cloudy it has no filter or air stone.

Ive looked up the type of fish and it’s not even a goldfish - it’s a small orange tropical fish that requires a heater.

I'm absolutely furious! I hate any cruelty to animals and think this type of lads game from a 40 yr old man is ridiculous.

first off mumsnetters AIBU? And if you think no what should I do?

worst part is that DH agrees that it’s cruel but for some reason ‘doesn’t want to cause a fuss’

Farmed fish (for food) raised on industrial farms are kept in severely crowded conditions, whether they are raised in tanks on land or in ocean pens, and nearly 40 percent of farmed fish die before the aquafarm operator is ready to slaughter them- so I’d say this question is highly relevant

Absolutely agree - cruelty to any living creature is never acceptable. I'd take charge of the fish, either look after it properly in my own home or pass it on to the RSPCA.

I'd also be questioning if I wanted to continue living with someone who is able to perpetrate cruelty to any animal - but that's your decision. My thoughts are, if someone could treat a living being that way, what kind of parent or partner are they? They would seriously go down in my estimation to the point where I couldn't live with them.

Fucking hell. I'd be naming and shaming the whole lot of them including "D"h as publicly as possible. Isn't this a criminal offence?

And I'd be making sure the fish is safe.

OP is not coming back, though, is she?

I think the RSPCA offer out fines as well... Maybe see if the team wants to involve them in this game as well?

That’s shocking! Even if he does agree that it’s cruel he’s still not willing to do anything about it, and he still chooses to count these people as his friends. As the saying goes, judge a man by the company he keeps. Your DH chooses the company of people who find it funny to torture animals. I don’t know think I’d be able to get past this.

You really should educate yourself on the conditions your fish was kept in before being battered and served with your chips. I think you’ll find it’s not too different to this little goldfish, bar the overcrowding and disease you find more prevailing factory farmed fish.

Jesus. I’ve read some shocking stuff on here in my time but that has really got to me. Animal cruelty as an ongoing ’joke’. I’m absolutely disgusted

So, I get that you don't eat farmed fish - neither do I. However I eat fish caught at sea, or that DH catches out of a river.

I don't really get your point though.

Are you saying because other people abuse fish, this isn't really an issue? Or are you just making a point - in which case not helpful under the circumstances.

Cruelty purely for fun is not the same as fish farming. Also the types of fish sold as fish and chips isn’t farmed fish. Many people avoid farmed fish (in the U.K. mostly salmon and trout) precisely due to the cruelty.

Sounds like a load of men-children playing a game & OP's husband doesn't want to stand out from the crowd. What a W@nker. 😡

I’m simply pointing out that the question as to whether all these posters eat fish is highly relevant… if they have such strong reactions to the conditions this goldfish is being kept in, they presumably won’t be eating fish themselves unless they only eat line caught stock they caught from the sea or river as you do.

Another thought, of the households where the fish is being passed around nobody has thought to take action?

I don't eat fish or animals.

This. You need to confiscate the fish OP. They are all disgusting.

I'd be naming and shaming online aswell!

What? Not my husband. I don't have one anyway.

Irrelevant under the circumstances IMO.

Suspect vegan crap.

I'm talking as a farmer's daughter. I spent my childhood on a farm. We had sheep & bullocks which were kept to pay our bills. All animals kept in good conditions, but, at the end of the day, the bullocks & sheep not needed tor breeding were taken to market for meat.

We also had a small dairy herd of Guernsey cows for milk.

We kept chickens running around the farm scratching up grubs, worms etc for a living, giving us a good supply of eggs which we sold at the farm gate. My father killed the cockerels once fat enough to eat & laying birds who were aged 18 months as they were no longer economic to keep which we also ate.

The bullocks & male lambs only existed because they were going to be sold for meat. The chickens lived good 'chicken' lives scratching around, bringing up broods, but once they got too old to lay enough eggs to justify their keep they were killed & we ate them. The animal poo went onto the ground to fertilise it.

I don't get vegans - our countryside has been farmed for 1000's of years & many of our native flora & fauna depends on it, if there were no more farm animals the countryside would be over-run with brambles, scrub & butterflies etc that depend on a managed countryside would die out.

Because what they're doing is stupid and for some misguided notion of fun. Catching fish for food is a different reason and a different purpose.

I'm not getting into the ethics of vegetarian/veganism. My remark was more about the intent.

That’s harsh, op does care, just asked for different opinions, on best how to deal with this, not to be flamed.Feel for op, she has to take this on, with no support.Don’t think for one minute she’s going to allow the fish to go back.

im not a vegan… sustainable beef farming has nothing to do with this argument. We’re talking about a fish here, hence me saying it is relevant to consider how fish are farmed

Perhaps I've misunderstood but this fish has been passed around idiot men and the OP is aware of this?

If the OP cared she would have taken action straight away not allow this cruel "game" to continue. It's a fish she can literally pick up and leave the house with not a grizzly bear.

Oh dear. Nul points for my MN technical skills.

I meant the OP, obvs, but stuffed it right up.

(Congrats on dodging the weak husband bullet, btw)

👏👏👏👏👏

Pretty sure you’ve misunderstood and the first the OP knew of it was when he came home with the unfortunate fish.

Oh he was worse than weak. Hence the divorce!! Thanks!

Rehome it and DON’T say it died. They’ll likely just get another one if you do that. DH needs to speak up about it - unless he doesn’t actually have an issue with it…