Ex said he will never forgive me

[PringlesForMe]

For secretly planning to leave him for a year. Saving money, getting a house and furniture sorted etc. I told him I wanted to separate but it did take 3 months more to get my house sorted etc, His family absolutely hate my guts and say how two faced I am, I’m a villain in his families eyes. Big reasons I had to do what I did which was a result of how Ex was treating me and speaking to me. He was verbally abusive and could be very nasty, also very nice and generous. I am now treated like I’ve ran off with another man and abandoned my children. Ex says how two faced I was when he would talk about our future and retirement etc.

MIL wants my head on a stick (jokes 💀)

Let them say and think what they want. They were going to spin the narrative to make you into a villian anyway weren't they? It doesn't matter

If you'd of come on here and asked for advice, most posters would of told you to get your ducks in a row. Which is exactly what you did. You've done nothing wrong

Edited to add* it's too late now but you shouldn't of told him you were leaving until you left. This is the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship. Stay safe

Let him.

Let them.

Focus on yourself and your future and ignore all of the shit.

Not your problem any more.

Did you post here about him here before when he was being a shit? Cus you could always send them all a link to the thread and let know what the vipers think of his sorry ass 😁

Agree with this op, especially in light of his running you over with his car comment. This man could turn dangerous.

"Here we'd crucify a man for this sort of deceit, pretending all is fine until they're ready to go. Reality is that's how it works.Reality is that's how it works.""

The difference is that men tend do it to protect their assets. Women do it to protect themselves and their children.

Do you care?

I’d hope no one would crucify a man for doing this if he were in an abusive relationship, which the OP is.

I mean, anyone that didnt drive another human to the hospital when they were very sick would be some sort of phsychopath. Thats just being a semi decent human so he can stick that one up his arse.

I’m confused, you are moving out .. leaving the children at the family home, and will then come to a custody arrangement - or are you taking the children with you ?

And now you don’t have to put up with this bullshit. Block - all of them.

Don't listen to his self-pitying nonsense @PringlesForMe Having an exit strategy is exactly the right way to go about these things, not that it would be necessary if his behaviour was more reasonable. I hope Departure Day goes as planned. Do you have any back-up, eg a couple of friends or family members with the build and demeanour of a brick outhouse? They would be worth their weight in tea and chocolate digestives if you do. Get one of those apps for parenting pps have mentioned and block your horror-show ex and his treasure of a mother

The only response to "i will never forgive you" is "OK"

It isnt like it makes a jot of difference is it?!

Did you take the children with you when you left?

He keeps saying how much he’s done for me over the years and how he saved my mums life by driving her to the hospital when she was very ill

That is hardly a sign of exceptional virtue. Most people would do the same for a complete stranger!

I would send her a letter explaining - she can choose to bin it.

He’s trying to put doubts in your mind, he wants you to think, you will regret leaving him. That once you leave, there is no going back, because he will never forgive you. He's playing mind games, making out he is a good guy instead of the abusive twat that he is! I’m surprised he hasn’t said to you ‘no one will ever love you, as much as I do’. 🤣

Let them all think what they want. Tell him you will never forgive him for exposing your children to domestic abuse and forcing you to essentially flee the relationship.

You don't need to justify here! Jeezus... posters give the same advice every day: get your ducks in a row first.
You did. For good reason. 👏

she hasn’t left yet but yes I hope the children will go too!

I mean are you bothered?

Well it is 2 faced isn't it - if your having conversations about your future or sharing finances every conversation should have been about how he was treating you (better said than done to be fair) but it's not necessarily wrong if you wanted to end the relationship either

You just have to accept there was toxicity on both sides & neither of you treated the other well by the end - naturally his family will support him ect.

I honestly don’t understand why his or his mother’s opinion of you bothers you.

Abusive men don’t like to be thwarted. You absolutely did that, you up and left after determining you weren’t going to allow someone to take over your life- and good on you!

In effect you’ve moved on, him and his mother - their opinion of you doesn’t matter, leave it behind, just as you’ve left them behind, they no longer have relevance. His nasty mother probably feels furious you’ve taken your power & reduced hers. Onwards and upwards lovey, well done to you, wishing you all the best.

It’s not ‘a bit off’ to get prepared to leave an abusive man 🙄

Why is it people always prioritise the man’s feelings?!

Just protect yourself and DC OP, you did absolutely the right thing, don’t engage in it even in your own head.

Remember this! You owe him nothing. You owe his mother nothing. Their opinions are of no consequence. They can fuck off.

How did you expect them to react? 🤷‍♀️