To cancel my wedding

[OrangeCrushes]

I don't really want to get married, but that's another story. My fiancé is my life partner and it's important to him.

We are planning a large-ish wedding and have put down deposits for a number of things. I have been married before and I am embarrassed by the whole thing. It's also very expensive and time-consuming.

We have told many people that they will be invited. It is scheduled for the next Easter holiday period. No doubt these people will have made plans and shifted their schedules.

Things are strange at work (I work FT) and I wanted to study for a major exam to take place in January which would contribute to my job security. Realistically, I can't have a wedding and take the exam. My child also requires loads of extra support

WIBU to cancel the whole thing? I don't feel I can handle the extra stress of this wedding on top of everything else. But I committed to my partner and loads of people are already planning to attend.

Fgs just get married in a registry office. Marriage does give legal clarity and rights that are just not avaliable to co habitees.

Get a wedding planner, we got married abroad on a boat and the only planning i had to really do is getting dresses and rings oh and sorting a few CDs of music we wanted played during the walk down the boat, ceremony, cake cutting and first dance, they sorted the decorating the cake, a live quartet, photographers, flowers all transport and hair, i could have had a horse drawn carriage even but i opted for cars with aircon 😅.

We had a party in the UK for people to come to after, function room, disco and cake, buffet and it worked out sooo good our families all wish we could go back and do it again. We had 18 days sc in turkey and got married on a boat we had 42 guests for the actual day, basically anyone who could afford to and wanted to come from our family/friends and then back home we had a party and requested buffet food for 100 people. It cost us about 12k all in and that included the 18 days holiday in Turkey wedding planner, the lot. Our honeymoon was obviously built in to the 18 days, win win.

You need to compromise on wedding size by the sounds of it too though for something like that to work.

I feel like the Exam thing is kind of irrelevant though, you could still do both.

Just downscale the whole thing. Nobody needs a big fancy do. Some want it, of course, and that’s fine. You do you 🤷‍♀️

Tell your partner that it's all too much and either scale it down by half and keep original date or phone the registry office and ask for a couple of dates that they have available to put forward to your partner and family for this year , then just have a nice meal out after.So many places will do small wedding packages and everything is done for you .You could plan for this year still.
If you just don't want to get married , don't .☺️

Is it the big wedding you don't want or thr marriage itself? If its the wedding talk it through with your partner. Sounds like you have a lot of stress and pressure on you to perform which isn't nice at all. Please don't simply cancel it, but please do definitely talk to your partner first.

P.S. reading your update, it's great to know your feeling and thoughts have been sorted on reading feedback.

You've got this. You're with a man you and your daughter love, and who you know loves and cares for you back. That's priceless.
The wedding is about celebrating that with others you love. Enjoy it with a celebration you'll enjoy and remember, but that's affordable and stress-free. Make it about you two/three!

Here's to a lifetime of love and happiness.

You are not being unreasonable but please don't confuse a wedding with marriage. There can be very practical reasons for being married - property sharing, pension etc. Not to mention division of assets upon divorce, inheritance tax issues etc. I don't know any of your circumstances but don't deny yourself (and your child) any protections because you don't want a huge event. As others have said, there's plenty of time to change plans and have the ceremony you want. Good luck x