Am I being unreasonable not buying new suits for their dads wedding

[hazelowens]

My ex husband is getting married in December and he has told our sons he wants them in suits, all the same colour, can be any colour but he wants them to all be the same, the boys have suits but they aren't the same colour and when the soon to be 18 yr old told him that the suits were all different colours he just said get your mum to buy you new ones as she'll want you in suits for her wedding. We have told the boys that all we wanted from them at the wedding to come in something they are comfortable in. We aren't having a big wedding and my other half who is well known for wearing shorts and sandals in all weathers has said that for the official bit he will be wearing a suit as he wants to look nice for me and he wants the boys to look nice again for me but he doesn't want them looking identical and uncomfortable. I've told him he can wear shorts, Hawaiian shirt with sandals at the reception and if the boys want to they can change into something comfier aswell.

The boys are 18, 21 and 24

I really want to send him a message to stop being a tight fisted arsehole and either buy them suits or hire them.

You think that's bad - my sister is told where her son 'ranks' in the class for every topic and subject. Absolutely baffling! Just causes anxiety when actually he's doing fine

sorry wrong thread!

He’s a saucy fucker!

Do the boys have the confidence to tell him you said it’s nothing to do with you and you don’t care what they wear to anybody’s wedding? If so, then I’d let them do just that.

If not, then a quick ‘Hi ex, the DC tell me that you need me to buy them matching suits for your wedding. I won’t be doing that. Hope it’s a lovely day for you both though’.

Tell dad to fuck off with his dictating. He can buy them new suits or they go in the ones they already have. Twat!

I can see why he’s your ex.

Yes this....nothing more to add....

Please just say:

Not my wedding, not my responsibility.

And have nothing else to do with it.

It's really that simple.

Then their father can take them all to the shop , make a day of it , a good bonding experience, what a pathetic man.

He needs to sort the suits and pay for them. I wouldn’t be getting involved in facilitating any of this in any way.

When you get married will you be asking him to sort and pay for their suits for your wedding? No, of course not.

I think it's pretty standard to wear matching suits at a wedding but also if it's their dad's wedding leave it up to him ???

He's a real joker isn't he. Perhaps he should get himself the green and purple suit.

Your sons are old enough to tell their father that they don't want matching suits. Your Ex-H should be paying if it's his wedding. I definitely would not be forking out good money for one day!!!

If he wants them matching then the bride and groom hire them for the wedding party, as many people do, and also buy or hire something for bridesmaids. He has a hide saying you or they should fork out for it. Presumably that's why he's an ex.

If anyone wants to dictate what someone else wears they have to pay. This encompasses bridesmaids, groomsmen and guests! Otherwise, you have to allow people to wear what they want/can afford.

Oh I love this idea. The boys don't want to look the same. When I have bought them things that look remotely the same they have laughed at me and I never see these things again.

I thought you were going to be talking about actual children, not full grown-ass men.
Regardless, if they dad wants something particular, he needs to pay for it. The dress code for his wedding is exactly zero of your concern. In no reasonable universe should you contribute a single penny.

Yeah people would laugh and know it was a piss take. My partner's photography business is known as Shorts & Sandals as that is all he wears unless we are going somewhere he needs to be smart for. He would wear a suit at the wedding and for photos but at the reception people will be asked to come in what is comfortable for them.

This.
Bonkers.
Adults buy their own clothes.
People who mandate particular outfits for weddings have to provide them.

They're all grown adults. They can wear what they have in their wardrobe or buy themselves something new if they don't wanna wear what their dad suggests.

None of this is your problem.

Why on earth would you buy suits for your ex husbands wedding? He’s nuts 🤣

The correct response to the ex's message to your sons is to IGNORE.

They are all grown ups and can have their own conversations with their father. No reason for you to get involved or take any notice of such cheeky instructions.

As others have pointed out, his wedding, his responsibility.

Is the knob asking other guests to match?

Your kids are all adults so you and their dad really have no say in what they want to wear and ex shouldn’t be expecting you to buy adults their clothes. If he wants them all the same he should buy them or pay for suit hire. ( love the idea of your wedding shorts Hawaiian shirts and sandals / flip flops for the reception )

With respect, I don't even know why this is on your mind.

"Cool, speak to your dad about buying them." Is the only input you need to give.

Absolutely his bloody wedding he buys their bloody suits! Absolute cheek of it!

If not the older ones can buy their suits. Not your responsibility.

Not your problem. His wedding he can sort the suits and the rows regarding the colours. Bet you are glad he is the ex.

When I remarried my ds's all had smart stuff - not matching and not suits. Exh sold them after the wedding..
.cunt..