Am I being unreasonable not buying new suits for their dads wedding

[hazelowens]

My ex husband is getting married in December and he has told our sons he wants them in suits, all the same colour, can be any colour but he wants them to all be the same, the boys have suits but they aren't the same colour and when the soon to be 18 yr old told him that the suits were all different colours he just said get your mum to buy you new ones as she'll want you in suits for her wedding. We have told the boys that all we wanted from them at the wedding to come in something they are comfortable in. We aren't having a big wedding and my other half who is well known for wearing shorts and sandals in all weathers has said that for the official bit he will be wearing a suit as he wants to look nice for me and he wants the boys to look nice again for me but he doesn't want them looking identical and uncomfortable. I've told him he can wear shorts, Hawaiian shirt with sandals at the reception and if the boys want to they can change into something comfier aswell.

The boys are 18, 21 and 24

I really want to send him a message to stop being a tight fisted arsehole and either buy them suits or hire them.

Depends whether they're part of his wedding party or not?

They are adults, let them sort it with their father, you don't need to be involved. He either pays for matching suits, or lets them sort their own.

It’s his wedding, he can buy them. What a cheek suggesting you buy them as you’ll want them for your wedding next year. Not a chance i’d be paying for them.

Shorts, Hawaiian shirts, and sandals at your reception... ?
😳

It’s pretty simple - Be polite, say that you appreciate he has assumed you were already getting some new suits for the boys and that it might have been a joint (and clearly jointly paid for) solution however you are having a more informal set up and so they wouldn’t be wearing matching suits. They already have suitable suits that they can wear though - but if he wants something specialist for his wedding then he is responsible to sort those.

Your kids are adults. Absolutely no need for you to involve yourself.

As is often the case, the first reply nails it. Simple.

This, but that’s only if your sons agree to want to wear matching suits.

I’m pleased this man is your ex. Cheeky bastard.

Not your problem op.
this is for your x & his sons. Stay out of it.

They are adults and don't need their mother to buy clothes for them.

Why is your ex actually involving you in this, your sons are all adults he should be talking to them about what they are wearing not issuing instructions to you. Personally I think matching suits are naff unless they are groomsmen and can understand why they want to do their own thing, they are individual characters... Distance yourself from the discussion and make him sort it out. Maybe his lack of taking responsibility is why your marriage ended, just saying!

How often would they wear a suit otherwise? Saying no to this request (or your sons saying no) is being considerate for avoiding low use clothing.

Tell ExH to either buy them suits or hire them suits, it's not down to you

I’d send a polite message but snippy message saying you can’t afford to contribute to his wedding but you wish him all the best.

First poster nails it.

Simply tell your exH that you are NOT funding his wedding by supplying the matching suits and that your sons’ already have suits good enough for the occasion. Then do not engage in any further communication with your ex.

He wants you buying a suit for a 24 year old? How odd!

Your children are adults anyway. Why do you need to be buying them clothes?

You sons need to sort this out with your ex between themselves and not to get you involved.

Response message back:
Your wedding, your sons, you are all grown ups sort it out between yourselves.

If you need to, to be clear, I can't fund any of this by the way.

Why are you even wasting time thinking about this? His wedding, his responsibility to buy the suits particularly given all 3 of them are adults. Don't even get involved, the fact that you are getting married at some point is completely irrelevant.

I thought they were little boys reading the title , they are grown men bar 1 almost. who can wear what they want! They dont seem to ushers or groomsmem because if they were he would have to pay.

I think you need to take a step back let them sort it amongst themselves and buy them nothing.

What a prick

He wants them in specific clothing - he needs to buy it

His wedding, his issue to sort out.
Do not engage with this subject at all.
Nothing to do with you at all.

Exactly this.