To be angry

[Guinesss]

So all of my family are going to Oasis for my mums but I couldn’t go due to childcare, I would feel so bad as a parent leaving one of my children out and would probably not go myself. Maybe I am just being selfish and bitter because I am jealous.

This is good advice OP.

But remember "Eaten Bread is soon forgotten."
A week after this, it will all be done and dusted. You don't have to listen to them all going on about it.

Realistically, if they are going to Wembley and have seated tickets, unless they have the best seats in the house.. they will hardly be able to see tiny Noel and Liam. Really they will be watching the giant video screens. They might have a better view of the stage standing, but that will be intense and very very packed and in my experience usually full of very tall men. The sound may/may not be great but that won't matter because it will be drowned out by everyone else singing. Yes it will be a great atmosphere but its only a few hours. I think people will enjoy it but are you really a long term die hard Oasis fan? It will mean more to them.
Its more FOMO..

It's probably too late to get tickets now, unless you pay through the nose and you wouldn't be with them anyway unless you all managed to get standing anyway which are at a premium I hear.

Also... Why not plan your own fun things to do and look forward to.. If you are a music fan there are small festivals which are billed as "family friendly" (google them). It can be a lot of fun, like a mini holiday.

Also. Noel and Liam will also continue doing solo gigs after the reunion tour and those will also be good. Can start saving and planning now for those?

Is there another artist you'd really like to see touring in the future - start saving and get on the pre-release ticket sales list and then you will have a fun concert to look forward to. Plan your own treats, even if you have to save or wait for them and you won't feel so much like you are missing out.

I'd focus now on finding some useful childcare sources for emergencies that may crop up or for things you want to do. Is there another mum with similar age children you are friends with, that you could have a babysitting swap with? Or that you could team up with to do fun days out with the children with? Those days were some of the most fun we ever had and I'll never forget them.

I'm sorry they didn't get you a ticket and that you feel left out, don't let the situation get you down, but take charge of it. In a few weeks it will all be in the past and you will hopefully have made some new and exciting plans for your own fun times.

I can’t believe you’re expecting them not to go because you can’t!!

Son, words fail me

At first I thought YBU, but having read your posts I dont think you are. It sounds like it was assumed you wouldnt go, rather than actually being asked, AND your exH is going, so he can't look after the children. This sounds off to me and it wouldn't happen in my family. My exH is a knob head but actually he does swap weekends and things and did swap recently so myself and my fiancé could go away for a week on a holiday my Mum and Dad paid for. And I wouldn't call him ExH of the year either. Sounds like your feelings haven't been taken into account by your own family and I bet this is not the first time. This isn't normal behaviour and if I were you I would be thinking about how I can build up my self esteem and friendship group. Your family should always have your back over your Ex.

You could only get 4 tickets at a time and millions missed out compared to how many signed up.
Sometimes it’s just one of the things you need to miss out on. I have friends jealous I do things spontaneously but I also don’t have the good sides to having children that they do.

No my ex is going separately with his new girlfriend. It isn’t his day to have the kids, it would have been nice if they considered me and got tickets on the day I was child free. The concert is today anyway so I’ll just have to suck it up.

Why do people bother posting if they don't read the OP and her updates?

I understand her ex husband is also going to oasis. It’s just her that is missing out.

Grow up!

Her ex is going entirely separately from her family. It wasn't his day to have the kids. It's got nothing to do with him.

It's not really about Oasis, it could have been a day at Alton Towers, or a fancy restaurant. The point was that your family didn't even give you the option to come up with something, it was just an instant "you aren't going". And your ex swanning off assuming being a woman = default parent. Both of which leave you feeling completely invisible and inconsidered.

Maybe take your mum somewhere just the two of you, nice meal or a spa afternoon?

It’s not nice feeling like you don’t exist.

And your ex swanning off assuming being a woman = default parent.

He literally booked a concert ticket. For a date he wasn’t supposed to have his children. Do you really expect him to check that his ex-wife doesn’t have anything on each and every time he books something? Does the OP never go out when her ex has the children just in case he might fancy doing something that weekend?

I’m ok now, dusted myself off. All good

I would never leave my young child out.

I absolutely would leave my adult child out if they can’t come. It’s not like she didn’t invite you.

YABU.

Except it wasn’t his day to have the kids. So she is the default parent on those days.

This

I think that's awful of your family to just presume you can't do something like that together with them because of your childcare. Surely one of you knows a responsible person between the ages of 17 and 80 who would watch your kids for a few hours for £15/20.

Definitely not an app. That's just putting kids in harm's way.

YABU to be upset that they’re going even if you couldn’t go. But YANBU that they didn’t even really invite you and give you the opportunity to get a babysitter. Even if they’d got a ticket for you and you couldn’t have made it, it would be really easy to sell the ticket on for this Oasis!

Why should they miss out because you decided to have kids? How immature

You're feelings are valid. There was a similar incident in my family where all of the women (aunts, sister and cousins) had arranged to go to an expensive gig. I wasn't told about it because my mum decided on my behalf that I couldn't afford it (I could and would have jumped at the chance to be included). I felt very hurt and left out when I found out. I moaned and moved on, Mum apologised and my feelings were validated - i don't bear any resentment because that would make me feel bitter and I don't want to hold onto those feelings. But it's ok to feel upset about and have a moan!

So just because you can’t go you think everyone else should suffer?

Is it just your parents and brother and his partner? I don't think that's the same as if it's more siblings. Your brother can do things with him mum without considering you - I think that's reasonable.

Op I missed out on lots of concerts when my kids were little.

Now that some of my dc are adults and they realise the sacrifices I've made for them while they were growing up, and one of the greatest joys in my life is my adult dc taking me to gigs of people I love, and I get to enjoy it with my babies.

It's hard when they are very young and you have no childcare, but it's so worth it 💐