To be angry

[Guinesss]

So all of my family are going to Oasis for my mums but I couldn’t go due to childcare, I would feel so bad as a parent leaving one of my children out and would probably not go myself. Maybe I am just being selfish and bitter because I am jealous.

Ah OK, I think YABU for being angry they are are going without you, but YANBU that they didn’t invite you and give you the chance to get some childcare or say that no it wouldn’t be possible

Yes they just said you will have the kids so you can’t come which was annoying. Oh well

Have you stopped to think about what your mum may have missed out on when you were younger because she didn't have childcare?

Be happy that she can be out there enjoying this now. Your time will come

You are feeling a bit low thinking of them all having fun. Are you the first to have children amongst your siblings? That can be hard when your life has changed and theirs haven't. But as others have said ...them's the facts. You think your mother shouldn't go because you can't ...on her birthday?? Is she your usual babysitter? Under other circumstances would you have hoped to go with your siblings ..with your mother babysitting? Not a good look to begrudge her having this opportunity on her birthday. Be cheerful and interested when she gets back and hopefully there will be other opportunities for you in the future

It’s ok to feel sad. Just try to to be bitter.

Why can't you get a babysitter?

😂

Like seeing Oasis the first time round, maybe? 😊
C'mon OP they'll be doing their "Last of the last ever lastest last last reunion tour the final one ever ever ever" in about 20 years' time anyway; catch them then. All bands do it (occasionally disbarring death).

You’re being unreasonable

but also why did ex husband automatically have preference to go?

I think it’s poor of them to do something like this knowing you can’t go it’s the same as not inviting you. If they want to go fine but don’t make it for your mums birthday. YANBU

ex h is also going so he couldn’t have them

I mean, that's the kicker, isn't it, really. Did he check with you first? I'm assuming you're the default carer and he can make his own sweet plans. Be angry with him, not your mum.

Your mum may have miss a lot raising her family now shes free to do what she wants.
Having kids changes everything.
They come first no matter what.
You will miss out on things from time to time.
Its called responsibility.

Dont be angry with your mum shes having fun.

I called him and asked if he would have the kids on that day and he said no he can’t as he is going. Yes I suppose I am angry at him and yes I am the default parent.

I think that puts a different slant on it. Tickets went on sale last year. They could have got you a ticket as you would have had a year to arrange childcare and get to know a good babysitter.

I think I'd be mad too.

I just think as a parent I would feel guilty that everybody was there but one of my children and I didn’t even consider them.

i can’t work out why your ex husband was asked over you?? Is this real

No he isn’t going with them, he is going separately

Well I'm sure that they didnt just get the tickets, and it would have given you plenty of time to get a babysitter (and work out how to get one)

No they did. It just felt like I wasn’t even considered to be honest.

It’s done now, I’ll just have to get over it

It wouldn't be reasonable for the whole your family to miss out on something because you're unable to go. I think that what is underlying this jealousy is that you're the default parent and feel resentful about that in a more general sense.

It's not really Oasis you're missing out on, it's a wider sense of fairness? It's a classic "We're Skint Tour", there will be another one. Jealously is information, don't judge it as 'bad", it's just a feeling. Use it as an indicator to work out what you need rather than shutting it down and judging yourself.

I'm one of the millions who spent hours trying to get tickets unsuccessfully.

So I'm jealous of your family too OP and I don't even know them.
I'll fume with you in solidarity.

You can’t honestly think you’d be happier if your mum turned down the chance to go. What would happen to her ticket?

I’m not even a huge fan, it’s just all my family are celebrating without me. I just think I should have been considered

No I wouldn’t be happier at all, I just don’t think I would arrange something like that knowing one of my children couldn’t come.