To be angry

[Guinesss]

So all of my family are going to Oasis for my mums but I couldn’t go due to childcare, I would feel so bad as a parent leaving one of my children out and would probably not go myself. Maybe I am just being selfish and bitter because I am jealous.

So do you think her mum shouldn't have gone to see a band she wanted to see, on HER birthday, because her adult dd can't get a babysitter?

I would tell my mum to go and have an awesome time. It would be shit to expect her to give up her birthday plans.

don't look back in anger...

So you think your mum shouldn't get to spend her birthday with her husband so that you could go?

Once you're an adult your parents lives don't revolve around their kids - especially on THEIR birthday.

A) I can’t believe you would expect your mum to miss out just because you couldn’t go.

B) I really don’t understand why you couldn’t go anyway. You say all your childcare was going to the concert - by which I assume you mean family. You could have just paid a babysitter like lots of people have to do all the time.

Yeah this ... ^ I am gobsmacked by the responses on here, and the poll result. If I was the OP, I would feel like SHIT. I know you have put your children first la la fucking la, but the father of the OP's children hasn't stepped up to look after HIS CHILDREN while the OP goes to this concert with her family for her mum's birthday? HE is the arsehole here. I am so sorry @Guinesss but don't be mad at your family, be mad at your twat of an ex. I hope you can get past this. Sorry you feel so blue.

The ex-husband isn’t going with OP’s parents 😂 He just happens to be also going to the concert (separately) and therefore isn’t available to be OP’s babysitter..

He isn’t going with her family….

If I was booking tickets for something, I’d check my calendar and if my ex was due to have our daughter that day then there is no world in which I’d hold off booking the tickets in order to check that he doesn’t randomly have a family engagement which somehow entitles him to go over me. What a bizarre notion.

Again, the ex isn’t going as part of the birthday party! He just happens to have arranged, off his own bat, to go with his partner to a concert on a night he doesn’t have the kids. Why on earth does that make him a twat and why on earth should he have to cancel just so OP doesn’t have to get a babysitter? He isn’t responsible for her.

If it is your mum, why is your ex-husband going meaning that you can't? Did I understand that correctly?

Well OP now you know what your family think of you, you can start to build a great life without them.

But Oasis are literally so rubbish! You can do anything else that night and have a better time.

It's sad and such a shame, ultimately there are childcare options out there for people with no family though - you absolutely could've planned that in, I'm assuming they were getting tickets at the time the lottery opened, which left you absolutely ages to sort it. It's OK to feel sad, left and annoyed whilst also realising that's NOT your families fault and that they're totally entitled to have an amazing time and enjoy it. I don't believe you'd honestly expect them to get through the whole ticket master kerfuffle and get offered tickets and go "oh... no let's all stay home and miss it just because one of us can't go". You can feel bad without it being their fault.

YANBu at all and am surprised at the voting

No!!! Ex is going with his own partner and is nothing to do with any of it. For some reason OP seems to expect him to drop everything whenever she needs a childminder so is therefore miffed he’s going.

Tbf not being able to go wouldn’t bother me but not even being asked would really upset me too.

So your mum can’t go to a concert with her own husband? Presumably they are both Oasis fans and this is an exciting thing for them. Why on earth should he stay home to babysit so that you can go instead, when you don’t even like Oasis?

Sane for your ex, who wanted to go enough to actually book himself tickets.

OP you are acting like a child who thinks the whole world revolves around you.

I know. I addressed my mistake 2 posts on.

Op it’s fine to be sad that you missed out but expecting them all not to go is a bit over the top.

Feel sad for the night but then get proactive. Figure out a babysitting solution for any future events. If you want to be able to do adult only things with your family you will most likely need to pay for a babysitter or start an arrangement with a friend where you help each other out. Then let your family know. Tell them you have babysitting arrangements in place so can they include you in the future when they plan events as you would love to go.

I mean I'm amazed that so many from the same family and also your ex all managed to get tickets. Not one single person I know and by that I mean actual fans of the fucking band got one single ticket 🤔
Did your family get them on resale at ridiculous prices? If so then I absolutely think YABU as you've admitted you're not that into them.

Grow up

My goodness me, such self pity - how old are you ?

and you really believe your father should not have gone and you should have had his ticket ?

You are not a child anymore, you are now an adult with your own children.

And as for not knowing how to find a babysitter - at the very least you could have asked on here and we could have made suggestions.

That’s life with kids! My mum does a lot of things with my sister (who is child free) that I can’t make - I wouldn’t expect either of them not to go. My mum did her time raising children and my sister is enjoying her child free life!
My husband and I tried and failed to get tickets, now he has a friend at work with a spare who has asked him to go - obviously I’m gutted that he’s seeing them and I’m missing out but that’s my bad luck and I wouldn’t want him not to go!

I don't think this is about the concert, but the fact the family has chosen an activity OP can't attend.

Two weeks ago it was my DF & aunt's joint birthday. They all decided to go to lunch on a weekday. I had to watch my cousin, her husband & eldest DC march out the office door to attend (they own the business so do as they please) and I sat there in my office, not able to go. Other cousins & DC were on holidays (teachers).

It was extremely hurtful to be excluded & watch my cousin's & their kids all celebrate my DF's birthday without thought for us. We weren't even asked as they knew we couldn't go. They could have just as easily had the lunch on a weekend. Especially when I give up a lot of time to help my DP's I'd have expected a little consideration.

I find people don't care as long as they're involved. My DM tells me I'm silly for caring but cried on the phone last night because she was excluded from a lunch with DF & his siblings today (she's invited now and complaining she doesn't want to.go....).

Why would the ex get an invite over you? Especially as you’re your mums daughter? That’s weird and without knowing any context I’d be annoyed too