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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To complain to HR… about HR?

195 replies

ApricotFlan · 15/07/2025 23:26

Sorry, this might be a bit of a long one!

For a while now, the buzz at work has been that my head of department, Angela, was on borrowed time. Yesterday it was confirmed the rumours were true. Angela had been into her boss’s office and then went out seemingly for lunch, but never came back. Our team was then called into the boardroom and told that Angela had been made redundant, effective immediately.

Because there had already been gossip, Angela’s boss - now OUR boss until further notice - decided it was better that any speculation happened away from the office. He gave my line manager his corporate card and told him to take us all to the pub, so that any discussions would happen there.

This morning I and two of my colleagues arrived at around 9.15. We have a flexible start and end time, with the option to do anything from 8 - 4 to 10 - 6, and the rest of the team had arrived early. My colleague Louise told me that the Head of UK HR had pulled them all in and given them a dressing down for going to the pub, saying it looked like we were “celebrating”, and that Angela has most definitely NOT been made redundant and was in a process. Louise and the others had naturally told her that we’d simply done as we’d been told, and that it was our boss who’d said Angela had been made redundant. When Louise asked why my colleagues and I weren’t being included in the meeting, Head of HR had admitted she’d forgotten about us 🙄

Anyway, Head of HR appears and asks me and my two colleagues to come to the boardroom. I’m expecting an apology for forgetting us and a reiteration of the redundancy process, seeing as she now knows a) we were following orders and b) that it was our boss who’d told us about the redundancy.

No. We got the exact same spiel about how bad it looked that we’d gone to the pub, couldn’t we see that it looked like we were celebrating - even a mawkish “Think how poor Angela would feel!” We were told again that she had absolutely NOT been made redundant and was in a process.

I said, “Sorry, I’m confused - Louise said she explained we were TOLD to go to the pub, and that Angela had been made redundant.” Head of HR got flustered saying “Well yes; she did, she did.” I then asked why we were there if she knew all this. She got huffy and said again that the point was that Angela had NOT been made redundant and that this should not be said in the office. I repeated that no one had said this other than management.

Later on in the day, Head of HR had said to Louise, “I didn’t offend you all earlier, did I?” Louise, to her credit, had said that yes, frankly she did, and that the issue had actually been with our boss.

I am torn on what to do. If any other manager had treated me like this and been so inept, I would be straight on to HR. But it IS HR who have made the almighty fuck-up. I cannot comprehend how the supposed head of the UK function would a) haul the team in without even speaking to their boss, b) forget three members of said team even exist and c) STILL give the team members they forgot the original lecture, when their mistake had already been corrected! The incompetence is breathtaking.

Despite it being the UK Head of HR at fault, I do have options. One would be to complain to my boss and get him to take it up with them. The other is to go to the Global Head of HR. It’s a big move, but I just cannot fathom how this all went so badly wrong, and why I’m being hauled in to answer for the mistakes of management . Should I take this further?

OP posts:
CassieAusten · 15/07/2025 23:30
let it go GIF

Seriously?

ApricotFlan · 15/07/2025 23:30

CassieAusten · 15/07/2025 23:30

Seriously?

Yes, seriously. If you don’t have anything useful to say on the subject, pipe down.

OP posts:
Gelflink · 15/07/2025 23:32

You should raise it. It's completely unprofessional and not your problem. Just because she is HR does not make her exempt from complaints being made

CassieAusten · 15/07/2025 23:32

What good comes of complaining about HR? You're not on a disciplinary. You know, and HR know, and - crucially - the senior manager who gave you the card all know what happened (and no, senior manager shouldn't have said Angela had been made redundant if not yet confirmed, and it was grossly unprofessional frankly to send you all to the pub). But what do you get out of complaining?

TrousersOfTime · 15/07/2025 23:34

I used to work in HR. About a quarter of the formal grievances we got were about HR, one way or another. More if you included payroll in HR!
That being said, I wouldn't go nuclear for now. Id explain to your boss that being forgotten, and then told off like naughty schoolchildren on the basis of partial information was upsetting and you were offended and would like an apology.

ScorchingEgg · 15/07/2025 23:34

Is this the 1980s?

Gelflink · 15/07/2025 23:35

CassieAusten · 15/07/2025 23:32

What good comes of complaining about HR? You're not on a disciplinary. You know, and HR know, and - crucially - the senior manager who gave you the card all know what happened (and no, senior manager shouldn't have said Angela had been made redundant if not yet confirmed, and it was grossly unprofessional frankly to send you all to the pub). But what do you get out of complaining?

What comes from it is lessons learnt and encourages people to reflect on their behaviour, the impact it can have on other colleagues

ApricotFlan · 15/07/2025 23:35

ScorchingEgg · 15/07/2025 23:34

Is this the 1980s?

Meaning?

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 15/07/2025 23:36

The whole thing sounds incredibly unprofessional. The gossiping that somebody was going to be fired. Being sent to the pub to continue gossip? Mental. Why on earth were you all not told to get back to work after you were told she was leaving? And considering that your gossip party was being paid for by a corporate credit card, legally it makes absolutely no difference whether you were in the office or not, it doesn't absolve the company of any responsibility for what happens. The whole thing sounds very dysfunctional.

ApricotFlan · 15/07/2025 23:39

Why on earth were you all not told to get back to work after you were told she was leaving?

You'll have to ask my boss why. The point is, we were.

OP posts:
Youremylobster86 · 15/07/2025 23:40

I would just let it go OP, not sure what you want to happen?

justasking111 · 15/07/2025 23:41

Goodness where I worked we were told emphatically that we were not to discuss things like this on or off the premises with each other or anyone by HR. Going to the pub would have resulted in an almighty ruckus.

DoYouReally · 16/07/2025 00:27

I feel Angela may have had a lucky escape.

Everyone in this company appears unprofessional and incompetent.

Firstly all the gossip about Angela beforehand.

Then being told Angela has made redundant (when no one seems to agree whether she was or she wasn't & also it's not really anyone's business).

Then the Business Credit being given to someone other than the named cardholder to use.

Then being told to go to the pub.

People actually going to the pub. (Surely people don't need to be told this way a bad idea).

HR meeting handled very poorly.

And now you want to complain, which given you thought going to the pub was a wise choice, is surprising & then expecting it to make any difference.

It sounds like an eposide of the office.

Everyone involved is ridiculous.

EarringsandLipstick · 16/07/2025 00:43

I can’t get over that you thought going to the pub was in any way professional or appropriate, regardless of what the LM said.

Let this go but consider whether this is a workplace you want to be part of. As a PP said, it all sounds dysfunctional.

EBearhug · 16/07/2025 00:46

Was it Angela's boss who called you into the boardroom? Surely he is the one who HR really needs to talk to. Obviously people will talk,but the official line should be that it is not to be discussed, not "off you go to the pub."

I probably woukd complain about being forgotten - they could have checked the org chart/leave calendar to see who was expected, or just asked, "are we missing anyone, is anyone else due in today?"

Thunderpants88 · 16/07/2025 01:03

First poster nails it

The whole thing has been handled poorly but it’s not that big of a deal. I absolutely would not go to global about it and if you do expect to be met with a mighty eye roll and your cards being marked for poor judgement on what the purpose of Global HR is. That kind of escalation is reserved for whistleblowing fraud, sexual harassment, discrimination not “Brenda didn’t speak to me nicely enough”

Also you could get your line manager sacked for someone using the company credit cards AND going to the pub at lunchtime

Wreckinball · 16/07/2025 01:25

I would email HR and ask them to confirm in their reply to you, that you were incorrectly reprimanded for something that was not of your making and that it will not be detailed in your HR file.
You won’t get an apology but you will get an admittance, it’s loosely worded so that it doesn’t dob your manager in it either.
Leave it at that

ApricotFlan · 16/07/2025 01:47

Was it Angela's boss who called you into the boardroom? Surely he is the one who HR really needs to talk to.

Precisely!

OP posts:
ApricotFlan · 16/07/2025 01:48

Also you could get your line manager sacked for someone using the company credit cards AND going to the pub at lunchtime

Sacked for going to the pub?! 😆

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 16/07/2025 02:03

ApricotFlan · 16/07/2025 01:48

Also you could get your line manager sacked for someone using the company credit cards AND going to the pub at lunchtime

Sacked for going to the pub?! 😆

It would be a sackable offence in lots of workplaces, given the use of the company credit card. But obviously, that will depend on your company culture and policies.

I don't really see what you'd get out of complaining, personally. But it sounds like you will probably complain anyway.

RawBloomers · 16/07/2025 04:22

I think there’s a point to complaining in that it seems like the head of HR is abusing her position.

Her behaviour in pulling you and your two colleagues in to lecture you on stuff she knew wasn’t your fault is, frankly, shocking and should be a big worry for the corporation. What else is she ignoring and distorting to suit her own ends?

But you have little to gain from a complaint and a bit to lose. You’re unlikely even to get to know what action is taken so no satisfaction in that, you might get an apology but it will be forced and fairly pointless, and if she stays in position you may have made an enemy. It’s worth considering if it’s worth it.

What was she playing at, though? Is Angela a friend of hers?

tripleginandtonic · 16/07/2025 04:35

ApricotFlan · 15/07/2025 23:30

Yes, seriously. If you don’t have anything useful to say on the subject, pipe down.

It's a public forum, you don't get to dictate. And I agree, why make a big deal of it?

NOTANUM · 16/07/2025 04:36

People think HR work for the employees as some type of union; they actually work to protect the business.

Complaining about HR to HR is a fools errand unless something very serious has happened; they will always back each other.

657904I · 16/07/2025 04:44

Honestly I don’t really think you have anything to complain about here. I’m a senior manager and although the complaint might be embarrassing, it likely wouldn’t be upheld and there wouldn’t be any benefit to you raising it. If you’re potentially going through a redundancy process, I personally would not want to bring any sort of negative attention my way.

I think your management & HR sound clumsy, but if they are the heads of the company then when it comes down to it, their jobs will be secure & you may be seen as a troublemaker.

I just don’t see that you have much leverage in this situation given your complaint isn’t that serious, can be swept under the rug and considering redundancies are flying around. Like you’re on shaky ground, secure new employment before starting an earthquake.

PrincessOfPreschool · 16/07/2025 04:48

Reading between the lines, it sounds like Angela is in a 'process' (grievance, possibly against the boss who gave you the credit card - which seems like a very odd move). The fact you lot went down the pub to 'celebrate' her leaving could be used against the company if Angela got to hear about it. I think HR panicked, then needed to tick off a list that 'everyone' had been dealt with. Perhaps they also spoke with credit card holder after, you don't know.

I think you need to let it go. Just because the boss behaved badly by giving you lot the credit card and asking you to go to the pub, doesn't mean you needed to go along with it. I'm sure you were not commanded to go to the pub, and wouldn't have been fired if you chose to stay out of it, only told to gossip about it off the premises. That choice, to go and gossip versus to stay at work and work, was yours to make.

To be honest, no one is coming off very well here so I'm not sure it's wise to complain. I would let it go and perhaps look for somewhere less toxic to work.

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