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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To complain to HR… about HR?

195 replies

ApricotFlan · 15/07/2025 23:26

Sorry, this might be a bit of a long one!

For a while now, the buzz at work has been that my head of department, Angela, was on borrowed time. Yesterday it was confirmed the rumours were true. Angela had been into her boss’s office and then went out seemingly for lunch, but never came back. Our team was then called into the boardroom and told that Angela had been made redundant, effective immediately.

Because there had already been gossip, Angela’s boss - now OUR boss until further notice - decided it was better that any speculation happened away from the office. He gave my line manager his corporate card and told him to take us all to the pub, so that any discussions would happen there.

This morning I and two of my colleagues arrived at around 9.15. We have a flexible start and end time, with the option to do anything from 8 - 4 to 10 - 6, and the rest of the team had arrived early. My colleague Louise told me that the Head of UK HR had pulled them all in and given them a dressing down for going to the pub, saying it looked like we were “celebrating”, and that Angela has most definitely NOT been made redundant and was in a process. Louise and the others had naturally told her that we’d simply done as we’d been told, and that it was our boss who’d said Angela had been made redundant. When Louise asked why my colleagues and I weren’t being included in the meeting, Head of HR had admitted she’d forgotten about us 🙄

Anyway, Head of HR appears and asks me and my two colleagues to come to the boardroom. I’m expecting an apology for forgetting us and a reiteration of the redundancy process, seeing as she now knows a) we were following orders and b) that it was our boss who’d told us about the redundancy.

No. We got the exact same spiel about how bad it looked that we’d gone to the pub, couldn’t we see that it looked like we were celebrating - even a mawkish “Think how poor Angela would feel!” We were told again that she had absolutely NOT been made redundant and was in a process.

I said, “Sorry, I’m confused - Louise said she explained we were TOLD to go to the pub, and that Angela had been made redundant.” Head of HR got flustered saying “Well yes; she did, she did.” I then asked why we were there if she knew all this. She got huffy and said again that the point was that Angela had NOT been made redundant and that this should not be said in the office. I repeated that no one had said this other than management.

Later on in the day, Head of HR had said to Louise, “I didn’t offend you all earlier, did I?” Louise, to her credit, had said that yes, frankly she did, and that the issue had actually been with our boss.

I am torn on what to do. If any other manager had treated me like this and been so inept, I would be straight on to HR. But it IS HR who have made the almighty fuck-up. I cannot comprehend how the supposed head of the UK function would a) haul the team in without even speaking to their boss, b) forget three members of said team even exist and c) STILL give the team members they forgot the original lecture, when their mistake had already been corrected! The incompetence is breathtaking.

Despite it being the UK Head of HR at fault, I do have options. One would be to complain to my boss and get him to take it up with them. The other is to go to the Global Head of HR. It’s a big move, but I just cannot fathom how this all went so badly wrong, and why I’m being hauled in to answer for the mistakes of management . Should I take this further?

OP posts:
GerryPix · 18/07/2025 08:34

ApricotFlan · 15/07/2025 23:26

Sorry, this might be a bit of a long one!

For a while now, the buzz at work has been that my head of department, Angela, was on borrowed time. Yesterday it was confirmed the rumours were true. Angela had been into her boss’s office and then went out seemingly for lunch, but never came back. Our team was then called into the boardroom and told that Angela had been made redundant, effective immediately.

Because there had already been gossip, Angela’s boss - now OUR boss until further notice - decided it was better that any speculation happened away from the office. He gave my line manager his corporate card and told him to take us all to the pub, so that any discussions would happen there.

This morning I and two of my colleagues arrived at around 9.15. We have a flexible start and end time, with the option to do anything from 8 - 4 to 10 - 6, and the rest of the team had arrived early. My colleague Louise told me that the Head of UK HR had pulled them all in and given them a dressing down for going to the pub, saying it looked like we were “celebrating”, and that Angela has most definitely NOT been made redundant and was in a process. Louise and the others had naturally told her that we’d simply done as we’d been told, and that it was our boss who’d said Angela had been made redundant. When Louise asked why my colleagues and I weren’t being included in the meeting, Head of HR had admitted she’d forgotten about us 🙄

Anyway, Head of HR appears and asks me and my two colleagues to come to the boardroom. I’m expecting an apology for forgetting us and a reiteration of the redundancy process, seeing as she now knows a) we were following orders and b) that it was our boss who’d told us about the redundancy.

No. We got the exact same spiel about how bad it looked that we’d gone to the pub, couldn’t we see that it looked like we were celebrating - even a mawkish “Think how poor Angela would feel!” We were told again that she had absolutely NOT been made redundant and was in a process.

I said, “Sorry, I’m confused - Louise said she explained we were TOLD to go to the pub, and that Angela had been made redundant.” Head of HR got flustered saying “Well yes; she did, she did.” I then asked why we were there if she knew all this. She got huffy and said again that the point was that Angela had NOT been made redundant and that this should not be said in the office. I repeated that no one had said this other than management.

Later on in the day, Head of HR had said to Louise, “I didn’t offend you all earlier, did I?” Louise, to her credit, had said that yes, frankly she did, and that the issue had actually been with our boss.

I am torn on what to do. If any other manager had treated me like this and been so inept, I would be straight on to HR. But it IS HR who have made the almighty fuck-up. I cannot comprehend how the supposed head of the UK function would a) haul the team in without even speaking to their boss, b) forget three members of said team even exist and c) STILL give the team members they forgot the original lecture, when their mistake had already been corrected! The incompetence is breathtaking.

Despite it being the UK Head of HR at fault, I do have options. One would be to complain to my boss and get him to take it up with them. The other is to go to the Global Head of HR. It’s a big move, but I just cannot fathom how this all went so badly wrong, and why I’m being hauled in to answer for the mistakes of management . Should I take this further?

As the others had been spoken to' I think its fair that you (and other 2) were also 'spoken to' - there has to be consistency.
There may have been a doubt about who's idea it was to go to the pub, and HR weren't convinced by the meeting with the first group. The questioning may be part of wider discussions concerning the actions of the line manager, etc .......
Being made redundant/paid off/losing a job isn't a clear cut exercise anymore, there are legal processes in place to ensure employers aren't open to accusations of biased acctions. That'll be why HR used the term 'in a process'

Schoolchoicesucks · 18/07/2025 09:02

Yes, the "dressing down" by HR should have been directed to the senior manager who sent you all to the pub. Either HR or the senior manager or both fucked up in how that was handled. Going to the pub on work time and on work money to discuss a manager being made redundant is astonishing. Crackers error of judgement from - mainly - the senior manager. HR are likely panicking about a claim from Angela.

I do think that everyone who went to the pub could be expected to have a chat about expectations and behaviour and respect as you are all adults and should be upholding expected standards.

ApricotFlan · 18/07/2025 19:38

GerryPix · 18/07/2025 08:34

As the others had been spoken to' I think its fair that you (and other 2) were also 'spoken to' - there has to be consistency.
There may have been a doubt about who's idea it was to go to the pub, and HR weren't convinced by the meeting with the first group. The questioning may be part of wider discussions concerning the actions of the line manager, etc .......
Being made redundant/paid off/losing a job isn't a clear cut exercise anymore, there are legal processes in place to ensure employers aren't open to accusations of biased acctions. That'll be why HR used the term 'in a process'

Thank you for posting without resorting to insults or telling me how horribly “unprofessional” I am for simply following a management request. Far too little of that on this thread!

I do understand the need for consistency. The problem is that, in this case, two separate meetings where the same information was relayed in both, with no acknowledgement that incorrect assumptions had been corrected in meeting one, meant they were consistently wrong! I’m amazed how many people on this thread think this is okay. Inventing scenarios where I was “late”; suggesting it was fine to forget that over a third of a team even exists because “you were told when you arrived” - it’s madness.

Several posters on this thread have reacted with horror to the fact that there’s such a thing as office gossip (who knew?). Yet for HR to have called us all in first thing the day after it happened, without having spoken to the senior management, there’s only one way they could know how we’d been in the pub… Yes, the dreaded gossip. If we were unprofessional to go, how much more unprofessional was it for HR to confront us on this based on second hand information, without even checking with our management chain that it had even happened? How ridiculous would they have looked if the response had been “No, I don’t know why people are saying we went to the pub - we had a long-planned offsite team meeting in the calendar”?

It could so easily have been handled so much better. A couple of simple conversations at management level before bringing us in at all, and a unified approach. How hard would it have been to say “We just wanted to clear up on the situation with Angela - she’s actually in a consultation process and nothing has been decided as yet. We’re sorry if there was any confusion”? And “We appreciate feelings were running high, but in retrospect, suggesting you go out of the office wasn’t the right approach. It could have been misinterpreted”?

But no. They went in all guns blazing with none of the facts - and attacked the only people who don’t have any power in the situation. As @Schoolchoicesucks says, HR’s ire was directed at the wrong target. They should have been annoyed with our management chain - and yes, with themselves. Because a competent, professional HR team would have ensured in advance that a unified approach had been agreed and would be communicated. The great irony is that one of the (many) issues with Angela’s management was that, on more than one occasion, she threw team members under the bus to save her own skin with senior management. The day after she goes, HR is doing exactly the same.

There have been a lot of “Poor Angela!” posts on this thread; claims she has been hard done by and “deserves to be treated with dignity”. What about my right to be treated with dignity, and that of my colleagues? Where is the dignity in being forgotten by the team who are supposed to manage working relationships? In being made the fall guy for mistakes higher up the chain? Why don’t we deserve better?

OP posts:
ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 01:02

Kjpt140v · 16/07/2025 21:53

Case proven M'lord.

Surely no one is this stupid?

OP posts:
ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 01:06

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ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 01:08

DropZone5PleaseBen · 16/07/2025 18:50

But she pulled you all 'forgotten-ers' when you all arrived, so what's the big deal?

you seem to make this whole thing about you. Some poor woman has been made redundant and you're all acting like monkeys in a circus.

Get a brain!!

OP posts:
ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 01:11

DropZone5PleaseBen · 16/07/2025 16:59

How the hell have you got 'forgot me' from a meeting that was held because you started later.. and once you were in you were taken to the boardroom?

are you usually this entitled or terminally offended?

all of you sound unprofessional and I also agree Angela has had a lucky escape.
first lister nails it. LET IT GOOOOOOOO

Read it properly, for heaven's sake.

OP posts:
ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 01:13

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ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 01:14

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ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 01:16

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ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 01:16

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657904I · 20/07/2025 06:46

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Everyone beware - the OP @ApricotFlan has been stalking me across Mumsnet and has left this exact comment under several of my posts under several of their name changes.

It is creepy, unhinged behaviour. Be careful engaging with them as they are clearly not sane.

one of their name changes is: @BettyCrockerClinic

Handbagcuriosity · 20/07/2025 06:55

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God I unfollowed your thread as your responses got worse and worse. You sound like an insecure and not very nice person. Do what you like. Say what you like. But by god I’m thankful I’m not your coworker!

657904I · 20/07/2025 07:01

Handbagcuriosity · 20/07/2025 06:55

God I unfollowed your thread as your responses got worse and worse. You sound like an insecure and not very nice person. Do what you like. Say what you like. But by god I’m thankful I’m not your coworker!

Edited

Be careful they don’t start stalking you across different Mumsnet threads! They have been targeting users on this thread who thought they were unreasonable, by responding to their posts across different MN threads with bizarre comments using different usernames including @BettyCrockerClinic and @ApricotFlan

They have done it to a few people…

Handbagcuriosity · 20/07/2025 07:04

@657904I well that just speaks volumes doesn’t it. Am sure mumsnet bods will have a look at it all.

brunettemic · 20/07/2025 07:50

ApricotFlan · 15/07/2025 23:39

Why on earth were you all not told to get back to work after you were told she was leaving?

You'll have to ask my boss why. The point is, we were.

And you didn’t think to question why, point out how disrespectful it is?

ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 08:09

Handbagcuriosity · 20/07/2025 07:04

@657904I well that just speaks volumes doesn’t it. Am sure mumsnet bods will have a look at it all.

I thought you’d unfollowed the thread?

OP posts:
ApricotFlan · 20/07/2025 08:10

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Handbagcuriosity · 20/07/2025 08:43

I did but because you tagged me in your delightfully insulting post it sent me a notification and so it took me back to the thread. Or maybe it is because I’m just fucking slow eh? 😂

WigglywagglyWanda · 20/07/2025 12:51

🤣 sounds like poor HR have their work cut out for them, gawd love their cotton socks having to deal with some very petty baby reindeers 🙈

I bet the manager being managed out is thanking all that is Holy she's getting away from what sounds like a very toxic team.

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