Is it ok to drop out of hen do last minute?

[BeDearLion]

I’m supposed to be going on a close friends hen do abroad this weekend but really don’t want to go. I have a baby and toddler and feeling so anxious about leaving them. Feel like something bad will happen if I go and want to stay with them but also don’t want to let my friend down. Wish I hadn’t committed to this.

I have left my kids overnight before, I usually feel like this before but just force myself to go however this time I don’t know if I can do it. Feel sick and could cry when I think about it.

Would I be a terrible friend/ person for dropping out so late or is it reasonable given I’m feeling like this? Could I pretend to be ill or is that even worse?

Why would you assume nothing terrible would happen with you? If we have kids things happen with us or other people accidents happen all the time and your parenting may not be better than someone else's, if you put your life on hold because you cant cope then seek help this thinking cant be healthy for your children

Having children does make our children more precious than anyone else's and does not make other people incapable of looking after them

IMO it’s not unreasonable at all but that’s because I wouldn’t be ready to leave a 7m old baby and a toddler either. Hell, I wouldn’t currently even want to leave my 3 and 5yo and be abroad without them despite them having a wonderful father. It’s personal. I would pay my way if by this point I had agreed to attend but I wouldn’t be going. I am 90% sure I’d have said no from the start though despite being a people pleaser. I just don’t like leaving my children and find it very anxiety inducing. At the end of the day, my children are more important than a hen do. Might sound mean, but it’s true.

If you pull out for this reason you really do need to ensure no one is left out of pocket and that you cover any costs.