Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for the money back?

283 replies

Horses1 · 15/07/2025 12:50

Can’t decide if it’s embarrassing to ask! In the holidays I often take my kids friends on days out with us whilst their parents work. It works well on both sides- their kids get days out and I pick them up drop them off (they all work from home) and my kids have friends to play with. I’m more than happy to do this.

Its always been on the basis that they cover the costs for their kids- transfer ticket money and either bring a packed lunch or if they say they want they to have food out afterwards I let them know how much it cost and they transfer. Sometimes it’s cost me more for example if they bring packed lunches and they want ice creams but I don’t mind that.

It can all add up though as we go on quite a few days out - 1 a week so maybe 6 over the holidays. Last week the mum said she’d transfer after for her DS food - it came to about £15. I messaged her with the cost and she’s not transferred. Appreciate it’s £15 but it soon all adds up if I’m the one paying each time. Would you message again or just leave it? DH says leave it as it’s embarrassing but we don’t have lots of spare money and I have to plan the summer holidays to do this.

Embarrassing or ok to ask? Any suggestions how to do it going forward? Thanks

OP posts:
Bettysnow · 15/07/2025 17:42

If you are taking the same child out again soon you could send the following
"Hi Gill as you know I'm taking John this week again. Just wanted to remind you about his lunch from last week as I don't want to land you with a double £30 bill. Easy to forget I know." Thanks.

Atina321 · 15/07/2025 17:43

Just ask, she will probably be mortified she’s forgotten.

And next time always get them to send the kids with their own money upfront.

We used to do similar when the kids were little and would always send kids with a packed lunch or dinner money.

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 15/07/2025 18:01

In all honesty if someone asked me for money and I was engrossed with work it would leave my head as soon as it entered 😂 maybe next time you take them out say ‘oh mind add the £15 from last time too’ if they don’t send it then the days out stop 🤷🏼‍♀️

AddictAlice · 15/07/2025 18:02

Horses1 · 15/07/2025 16:49

Who are you talking to? Are you drunk ?

I think they posted by accident. I almost posted a whole work report to MN today as I was reading threads during breaks (must stop doing that). It would have been so outing - and embarrassing!

DecemberBabe · 15/07/2025 18:04

I would just ask for the money in advance in future, if they don't pay they don't get discounted childcare.
Save you the hassle of chasing.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 15/07/2025 18:19

AddictAlice · 15/07/2025 18:02

I think they posted by accident. I almost posted a whole work report to MN today as I was reading threads during breaks (must stop doing that). It would have been so outing - and embarrassing!

I assumed the post was intended for the thread about phrases or words people dislike.

FourLove · 15/07/2025 18:20

I'd send her a message just saying you haven't received the payment yet. Almost certainly she either forgot or there was a problem with the payment going through, maybe an internet blip or she didn't press 'confirm' or something. She'd be mad to alienate you for the sake of a few quid when you are doing her such a huge favour.

LuffyMe · 15/07/2025 18:27

Really rude of these parents to take advantage of you like this. I've never sent my children of to be taken out for the day without giving the parent some money for drinks and ice creams.

Lbet · 15/07/2025 18:30

I think it is a great idea what you are doing with helping friends out in the holidays and it’s company for your kids too.

I would imagine she has just forgot and would want you to remind her.
Im sure it will sort itself out.

Liloqueen · 15/07/2025 18:39

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

coxesorangepippin · 15/07/2025 19:47

So has she paid yet??

Happyflower12345 · 15/07/2025 22:22

Message and remind her. Maybe get money up front or in advance. How old are the kids?

sarah419 · 15/07/2025 22:45

leave it and don’t take them out again with you

Judiezones · 15/07/2025 22:49

If she normally pays straight away she's probably forgotten so will appreciate a reminder. If she hasn't forgotten, she needs a reminder because she's cheeky.
YANBU and you're very kind to take her kids out

Ohnobackagain · 15/07/2025 23:15

Loveduppenguin · 15/07/2025 12:55

Hey x’s mum, just wondering if you sent in that £15 as I didn’t see it come in, just wanted to make sure it didn’t go to the wrong person or something. Let me know, thanks

This @Horses1 - nice light tone, genuinely checking no issues!

dottiedodah · 15/07/2025 23:31

Sassy turtle .yes I don't know why people are disagreeing with u .must have been very lucky not to have flaky friends! Some people seem entitled .they will start to do it more and more. Need a firm stance fro day 1

SassyTurtle · 15/07/2025 23:35

dottiedodah · 15/07/2025 23:31

Sassy turtle .yes I don't know why people are disagreeing with u .must have been very lucky not to have flaky friends! Some people seem entitled .they will start to do it more and more. Need a firm stance fro day 1

Thank you! ☺️

vickylou78 · 15/07/2025 23:41

Fine to politely chase. If anything like me just forget to do it as so much on with work etc

DurinsBane · 15/07/2025 23:54

SpinachSpinachMoreSpinach · 15/07/2025 12:58

You should have no qualms about ‘pestering’ her……. Seeing that she seems fine with being a cheeky f….r.

If you let it go she’ll keep on trying to take advantage of you being a soft touch your generosity.

She has possibly forgotten to transfer it. Once. How does that make her a cheeky f….r?

DurinsBane · 15/07/2025 23:59

sarah419 · 15/07/2025 22:45

leave it and don’t take them out again with you

What, because the friend has probably just forgotten, one time?

LBFseBrom · 16/07/2025 00:36

Yes, it is still early days.

Op if you are concerned, contact and talk to her about something else, that may jog her memory.

Wishbone436 · 16/07/2025 06:49

Defo chase it. I can be that person 🙈 I have every intention of sending, then the kids pester me & it totally slips my mind! I would much prefer you to chase me for it than realise a month later that I owed you money! Or worse, not remember at all!!!!!

Plumedenom · 16/07/2025 07:29

Hi xxx, did you send me the 15 pounds for dc's lunch? I can't see it in my account. See you soon!

Job done.

marcopront · 16/07/2025 09:03

SassyTurtle · 15/07/2025 13:36

How can she forget when she’s been messaged the amount and knows OP has taken her child out?

Have you met other people before?

Of course someone can forget something they have been told. Most people forget things.

GiveDogBone · 16/07/2025 18:00

She’s relying on you being too embarrassed to ask. It’s no different from her stealing the money out your purse.

Next time ask for money in advance. And if she doesn’t pay in advance her child doesn’t go, simple.