AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

[Firstchoice333]

So, DH, the kids and I will be away soon, and some good friends of ours — who we've happily hosted when we're home — are visiting our city at the same time.
Instead of getting an AirBnb like normal humans, they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit." 😬
DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still — it just feels off. I’d never even think of asking to stay in a friend's home without them there. Have I turned into a Victorian maiden aunt, or is this just a bit CF?
So, AIBU to find the whole idea a bit... much?
TL;DR: Friends want to stay in our house while we’re away. DH thinks it’s fine. I think it’s weird. Enlighten me.

My home is my sanctuary. I don’t even want DH poking around my underwear drawer, never mind friends. I’m happy to have friends stay when we’re home but not if we’re away.

If one of you or your DH is a "no" then it's a no as far as I'm concerned.

If they ask directly just say "Sorry that's not going to work for us".

People quite often use my house when I am away, have they given you any reason not to trust them?

Relatives then yes but anyone else absolutely not. Its extremely rude of them to even hint.

At the end of the day it's your home and your choice.

Some people would be fine with it, especially if they have pets they were going to be paying someone to care for and visitors would responsibly take up that roll.

The point is you're not, though. That's all that counts.

I'd message back 'Sorry, we're not comfortable with that' and leave it.

If that's not good enough for them that's their problem.

I'm of the it's okay to ask and it's okay to say no view.

I remember friends of my parents staying in our (my parents') house while we were all away. They cleaned the oven and bought a loo roll, which presumably would casue a nervous breakdown with Mumsnet.

The kind of people that would hint / ask to do this are the kind that I wouldn’t want staying.

Depends on personality probably.

I don't like anyone in my private space full stop, I will happily go out and meet people anyway but my home is my private sanctuary and I'm quite a private person so for me its a huge 'hell no' to have people here when I'm not.

I have many friends who are the opposite personality to me in this regard (it seems opposites attract) and most my friends like to stay 'in the comfort of their home' (rather than meeting at a pub or park etc...) and always have a house full of visitors. Many friends have asked me to house/pet sit while they have been away.

I think its rude the invited themselves though, if you offer its one thing but you cannot invite yourself into someone elses house.

Doesn't matter what responses you get here and how others would feel. If you aren't comfortable with it YANBU and shouldn't allow it.

I prefer people using my house than it being empty .

This wouldn’t bother me. In fact it would be great as they could feed my cats instead of getting the neighbours to do it. They’re welcome to rummage through my drawers, they wouldn’t find anything exciting.

The thought of someone bringing in bed bugs (they’ve been travelling after all) would be a reason for me to say no!

I wouldn’t snoop either but there might be bathroom cabinets, bathroom cupboards etc with personal things in them.

Just general questions of letting people stay in your empty house; What room are they sleeping in, a room specifically for guests with no one else’s personal belongings in them? Can certain rooms be locked? I’ve stayed in houses that are homes as well as holiday lets where a number of rooms are locked.

It wouldn’t work for me anyway as all bedrooms belong to someone and have their stuff in them.

Not weird if you feel comfortable with it but cheeky of them to ask without you offering. And it’s absolutely fine not to offer. I haaaaate when people are cheeky like this in a way that then makes you the bad guy when you have to say no or spend time trying to come up with an excuse. Ughhh

This to me is one of those situations in which it isnt weird or odd to offer, however, it isnt ok to ask/hint! There are less than a handful of people i would do this for (but for those people I'd be more than happy too).

I think it's fine. I'd be happy to have friends staying and keeping an eye on the place. I've offered our house to people before to stay in as we are handy for the channel tunnel but not always around.

This to me is one of those situations in which it isnt weird or odd to offer, however, it isnt ok to ask/hint! There are less than a handful of people i would do this for (but for those people I'd be more than happy too).

YANBU.

While friends have stayed in my place while I’ve been away, it was my offer not their ask

I’ve stayed at friends when they were away and would offer the same, I personally don’t see an issue unless they aren’t real friends? I’d trust all of mine, and if they wanted to look at my knickers crack on. 🤣

My lovely friend offers her house when they are away. She is my best mate. I would offer her mine.

The key is offer.... rather than ask.

I'd only do this with her/my sister. Nobody's else!

And I think that would be my main gripe. Unless everyone knows you have an open house policy with your friends, it’s really thoughtless to put a friend in the awkward position of maybe having to say no and then feeling bad or guilty for not saying yes to them.

Not at all weird. It’s completely fine and I’d consider quite normal.

Offered not imposed.

I wouldn't like it - just tell them you both are not comfortable with the idea of anybody in your home when you are away.

I wouldn’t.