AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

[Firstchoice333]

So, DH, the kids and I will be away soon, and some good friends of ours — who we've happily hosted when we're home — are visiting our city at the same time.
Instead of getting an AirBnb like normal humans, they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit." 😬
DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still — it just feels off. I’d never even think of asking to stay in a friend's home without them there. Have I turned into a Victorian maiden aunt, or is this just a bit CF?
So, AIBU to find the whole idea a bit... much?
TL;DR: Friends want to stay in our house while we’re away. DH thinks it’s fine. I think it’s weird. Enlighten me.

I would and I have but I would never ask someone if I could stay at theirs. If you were comfortable with it you’d offer they are CF.

I feel slightly panicked just thinking about it. My fully furnished home and its contents, free for someone to wander round examining while I’m not there?! I’d find this sooooo intrusive. I actually envy people who are chilled about their privacy and don’t care about things like this.

I’d prefer having someone in my house when I was away for security.

Id offer to let people stay if they are friends. Its no big deal to me and it would make sense for them to save money. Recently propel stayed in my house for the weekend whilst I was away for a fortnight.

If though you don't want friend staying the you're not there, just say it doesn't work for us to do so, here is the address for a great place to stay and live it at that.

I've had friends stay here when we're away. But as pp said - I offered, they didn't ask.

Do they snoop? No idea. Don't care if they look through my ktichen cupboards and are horrified at out of date tins, tut at the cobwebs in corners, or even look through my knicker drawer - all they're going to find are clean knickers. But I'd always lock away anything that I wouldn't share completely openly with them, e.g. all financial information, or anything intimate such as a written journal etc. But then these things are usually locked away securely incase of fire or burglars.

I've done this with a friend. On the one hand it was great. She bought lots of new spices for me. On the other hand the curtain was pulled off the rail because she tugged it so hard. There was also makeup stains on the sofa. I wouldn't do it again.

Very rude ..dont even reply to them. The guys that said yes they would allow visitors.lwell maybe that depends on circumstances but my hubby and i work around the clock,house gets a lick and a promise, would take me a week to get house 100%shipshape for visitors, if they cant afford city hotels they need to book a premier inn 🏨 or whatever they can afford x

Not a chance! I won't even let our elderly neighbours have a spare key for emergencies which is what they did with previous owners. Sorry kids not happening.
They are definitely going to find your rampant rabbit. 😂

Think of all the extra cleaning and tidying that may be needed before agreeing to this!

None needed in this house.

YABU @Firstchoice333.

The easiest, most grateful guests you'll ever have are the ones who you don't have to host.❤️

Your home is looked after while you're away, yis don't get on eachother's nerves and they owe you one.☺️

What's not to like?

We let friends of our neighbours stay for a week. We were best buddies with this neighbour. Arrived home to find neighbour dripping with sweat trying to clear up the total mess her friends had made of our house. Sand everywhere, piles of rocks and stones, children's beds in a right state, kitchen, despite my neighbour's efforts in an awful way, pans ruined etc. No! Don't let them stay unless you get a bond for damage.... Though my husband would always say yes and trust folk to behave well (which apart from that lot, mostly, they have).🤣

For me it's not even the principle, its the practical side.

Trying to fix all the booby traps in the house before you get a phone call to say 'we can't turn the tap on' etc.

Decluttering for guests. Tidying, cleaning, neighbours, comms, arrangements.

This would be a pain even if someone was paying. But the idea of it being "free" would grate. Its not "free".

Absolutely, the pre holiday added stress of wanting to leave the place ready for guests.

For a dear very close friend maybe, but it would be me offering, can't imagine a friend asking.

I'd hate this, they would be adding to your bills while your away, eating your food etc.

I've stayed in friends' houses. I think we asked lots of friends if they had any friends looking for house/pet sitters whilst we had building work done, and some of our friends offered their own houses. Some very good friends, some were more acquaintances. Worked out well, we took care of their house and pets, didn't snoop in drawers etc, and left their houses clean and gifts (flowers, wine, chocolates, basic food shopping). I'd allow friends to stay at mine too, and family often do when we are away. If there was anything valuable/truly private I'd hide it away. If I was worried about people shopping through drawers I wouldn't be friends with them in the first place.

You expected not to pay for something your child broke?

Well, we once let my BIL and SIL stay at our house when we were on holiday (DH’s brother) and all I will say is never again. They left my house like an absolute shit tip and stinking full bins and eaten most of the contents of my cupboards. Nothing like coming home from a weeks holiday with beds to change and a filthy house. My MIL was involved as well and not one of them thought to just have a tidy round and empty the bins. My DH didn’t think it was that bad but then he was raised by my MIL so…..

I've had two different sets of friends stay at ours while we've been away.. was happy to help - we have a great house in a beautiful location .. an air bnb here would be very expensive...and didn't mind helping but the 2nd set left our underfloor heating on for an entire week while we were still away and they had already left .. we came back to tropical temperatures in the house in December and it cost so much so am a little less keen to do it in the future after that.. saying that - if friends ask again - I don't think I'd say no.. would feel bad..

YANBU Absolutely not a chance I don’t allow my sister to stay at my house she lives 300 miles away and she would 100% expect to stay at mine when me and my family were away she’s a massive snooper and has a really bad habit of rearranging things too if I’m away my house is locked up no need for anyone to be staying in my home.

What CF. You didn’t offer for them to stay. They can book a hotel /other accommodation. Tell them No your house isn’t available. Don’t invite them again.

Tell them that you wouldn’t feel comfortable with anyone staying in your home whilst you’re not there, so sorry, they will have to find a hotel or AirBnB. No need to make up stories about house sitters and workmen, that sounds much worse than the truth, much more of a brush off than being open and honest with people.

We sold our house and were waiting for a new build. We stayed at friends whilst they were away ... but we did take care of their cats. I'd have no problem with my close friends staying.

Nothing at all wrong with this. I’m always having random people staying in my house whether I’m there or not.

I'd love it if friends used our house when we weren't there - security for the house, plants watered, post collected. No faffing around with timers on lights etc. And no need to do the feeding and thinking of activities that hosting usually brings. And you get thought of as a good friend. Just tell them not to extend the favour to others.