AIBU to think it's a bit cheeky to want our house (when we're not even in it)?

[Firstchoice333]

So, DH, the kids and I will be away soon, and some good friends of ours — who we've happily hosted when we're home — are visiting our city at the same time.
Instead of getting an AirBnb like normal humans, they've casually hinted that they could just "stay at ours" while we're away. You know, to "save a bit." 😬
DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still — it just feels off. I’d never even think of asking to stay in a friend's home without them there. Have I turned into a Victorian maiden aunt, or is this just a bit CF?
So, AIBU to find the whole idea a bit... much?
TL;DR: Friends want to stay in our house while we’re away. DH thinks it’s fine. I think it’s weird. Enlighten me.

I could never ask because then you’re putting your friend on the spot. If an invitation is offered then great, but to instigate the invite myself, no I couldn’t do it.

DH is fine with it. Thinks it's no big deal. I, on the other hand, am firmly in the "strangers in my pants drawer" camp. Not that they'd snoop, but still

I bet they would…

I would.

Nope I wouldn't like this. More than happy to host our friends when we're there, but not if we're away. Imagine the added stress of trying to get it super clean before going on hols ... I like to clean before I go away but that's another level of cleaning! couldn't be arsed with it.

I wouldn’t in case they knew exactly where everything was. I’d probably take photos before hand to check when I got back 😁

I understand some people wouldn't be comfortable but good friends I really wouldnt have a problem. And I'd like to think that I choose my good friends well enough that they could be trusted to leave my pants alone 🤣. I'd see it as a benefit...less likely to get broken into if occupied.

No I wouldn't let them. Do they have form for this kind of thing - being tight?

Very cheeky to ask imo. My DH would be aghast if I said this would be happening at our home.

Also, I think if they are good friends then I'd want to keep them and not risk something going wrong whilst they're staying at your house like breaking something, upsetting the neighbours or making a mess.

Sorry friends but I just feel a bit uncomfortable about that so you'll need to find somewhere to stay.

I’ve always been of the opinion that you shouldn’t put people into awkward positions that they could feel guilty about. You don’t ask a friend to borrow £10K, to use their home when they’re not in, to borrow their car for a week. You always wait for the offer.

The majority of people wouldn’t be comfortable with this, so it is better to be invited rather to make hints

I wouldn't like it, fine if I'm there but not if I'm away. I'm fussy about my things and my space being clean and tidy, I couldn't be certain they'd be respectful of that.

I want to know this too!

Then melt, then refreeze before I allowed this to happen.

But that’s different, because friend had a role to play. -cat sitting, so it was of mutual benefit

I wouldn’t mind at all, in fact I’d rather people were in that the house was empty while I was away.

I’ve been to two houses (holiday lets) where we have accidentally broken things. Even my mum, who was a very careful person, managed to break a (sliding) door. I would have found that even more stressful had it been a friend’s house as we were able to contact the managing agency who sorted someone to come round and fix it.

We once had people stay a night while away, when we got home the house was cleaner than it had ever been😅 Saying that the level of organisation, getting things in and cleaning (before they came to make the house look normal, while packing to go on holiday with 4 kids, was savage. Never ever ever again

I did it once and they took the piss, knocked over my very expensive bath stuff and left it draining down the plug hole, dyed their hair and stained the tiles, did not put the rubbish out, left dishes in the sink.

Don't do it, it was the end of the friendship

Cheeky of them to ask. I also think this a is a 2 yesses/1 no situation, where if either you or your DH isn't happy with it, then it's a no.

Yes I understand people are different but I don't understand how people can be unkind. I'm yet to see a reason why you wouldn't let good friends stay.

And yes, you might get a call asking questions about how things work, but what's the big deal?

It's really not unkind. It's a perfectly reasonable boundary to hold.

Not weird. Do this often and have done for decades.

Always reciprocated including in many wonderful homes around the world.

But horses for courses and depends on what you’re used to, who they are, and many other factors!

Your daughter broke it. You should have been very apologetic and insisted on paying to replace it, he should have had to ask, let alone insist.

You fed his cats (designer cats 🙄🙄) so what? Hardly onerous, and of course you should have cleaned before you left.

I’m had this, friend knew we were away and didn’t so much as ask as told me they would stay. As in ‘you are away so it will be no problem if we stay at yours’.
I was young and hadn’t learned how to say no. I hated it and wouldn’t allow it now. YANBU

Do they live somewhere nice OP? Would you like a free holiday at theirs?

Seems perfectly normal to me-but that’s how I was brought up. Immigrant parents, so lots of transient people in our house!

@GoneGirl12345 Well all I can say is no one has ever asked me if they can stay in my house while I’m away, and I live a two minute walk from the seafront. I’d imagine I’ve never been asked because most people don’t consider it a thing to invite themselves to your empty house 🤷‍♀️

YOU would definitely snoop. Not everyone would.